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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 02-28-2019, 07:47 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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mom of 2 - 3 words comes to mind after reading this thread: BRING IT ON

I was continually given pitiful threats by my ex. He would go the motion route and lose, each and every time.

Never consider dropping out of FRO. Services maintenance enforcement agencies are free and yes, eventually, they do have teeth.

Offers to settle are good things too.

So... if your ex goes motion route you make sure your lawyer responds with perhaps a counter-claim? Of course you always request costs.

Let your ex run up his own legal costs. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Judges do not like people who do not support their children. There is a court-ordered process in place that he doesn't want to follow. This doesn't make him look very good.
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  #12  
Old 02-28-2019, 08:27 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
mom of 2 - 3 words comes to mind after reading this thread: BRING IT ON

I was continually given pitiful threats by my ex. He would go the motion route and lose, each and every time.

Never consider dropping out of FRO. Services maintenance enforcement agencies are free and yes, eventually, they do have teeth.

Offers to settle are good things too.

So... if your ex goes motion route you make sure your lawyer responds with perhaps a counter-claim? Of course you always request costs.

Let your ex run up his own legal costs. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Judges do not like people who do not support their children. There is a court-ordered process in place that he doesn't want to follow. This doesn't make him look very good.


Thanks Arabian!! I wonít drop fro thatís for sure. And I think a judge would think thatís crazy for him to ask. There was a reason I went through fro. I just canít swallow that his lawyer doesnít advise him to pay what he owes. Itís crazy.

So you think I would win at said motion ? We would need to cross motion for arrears I guess. In hindsight I wish I would have not instead all the money wasted on letters.

Anyone new to litigation reading this. Just as long time members have said. Complete waste of money.


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  #13  
Old 02-28-2019, 10:36 PM
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I would not waste your breath until your ex files a notice of motion. Then you respond with an offer to settle (of course with a deadline of 30 days or whatever works for you).

Please keep in mind that I am certainly not a lawyer and my litigation was primarily in Alberta. I did not have to waste time with case conferences - just motions. After a few years we did have a case management judge assigned which was good for us. Everything was ordered in courtroom with the same judge presiding. My situation did not involve children and yours does. Notable differences.
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  #14  
Old 03-04-2019, 12:19 PM
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I might offer some sobering opinion on this matter. I was faced with a similar situation. I'm a 50/50 parent and pay off-set. My ex stopped working and managed to produce a medical note. I'm not aware of why she can't work and has provided no evidence other than "I cannot work".


I had agreed to adjust CS when she requested it, however EX wanted it to be retro-active would not accept a variation and decided to litigate (I'm with FRO). While the judge didn't got back the full period of time, they did go back about a year and a half, and included current years income. So I got hit with a HUGE Retro bill as well as paying costs. Ughhh.


Yes, my ex used some dirty tactics and they didn't produce any evidence that should normally be required. They were allowed to make less money and I was on the hook to make up the difference. You may want to look the dollars involved, but for me.


Best to keep CS completely separate from other costs. I got caught up with that and it ended badly.
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Old 03-04-2019, 01:01 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post
I might offer some sobering opinion on this matter. I was faced with a similar situation. I'm a 50/50 parent and pay off-set. My ex stopped working and managed to produce a medical note. I'm not aware of why she can't work and has provided no evidence other than "I cannot work".


I had agreed to adjust CS when she requested it, however EX wanted it to be retro-active would not accept a variation and decided to litigate (I'm with FRO). While the judge didn't got back the full period of time, they did go back about a year and a half, and included current years income. So I got hit with a HUGE Retro bill as well as paying costs. Ughhh.


Yes, my ex used some dirty tactics and they didn't produce any evidence that should normally be required. They were allowed to make less money and I was on the hook to make up the difference. You may want to look the dollars involved, but for me.


Best to keep CS completely separate from other costs. I got caught up with that and it ended badly.


Thanks for the information. So because his income went down $3k after 6 years of it being the same, your saying just accept it? It isnít a huge drop in support. I am the recipient.

He wonít have a drís note. Itís basically unpaid time off due to moving... extra vacations and such.

We will ask for current pay stubs. I have to take unpaid time off work all the time. I canít afford to not ďmake the time upĒ so I do and my income stays the same or goes up.

Just seems really unfair..

But thanks for the input. Iím sure he will win that argument unless the judge really reads the file. Last 3 years 48k. This year 45k while we are in litigation. Convenient.


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  #16  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:09 PM
Gilligan Gilligan is online now
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I agree with you and agree it's not fair. I can just say that I requested disclosure and never received anything. The income was accepted at face value and as a result, I ended up paying her lawyers fees and more support than it should have been given our court order. All in all, I'm down about $10,000 in extra fees and support so it's a bit of a tough lesson.


To do it over again, I should have just paid her some retro and avoided litigation.


Its a tough pill to swallow.
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  #17  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:14 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Ya for sure it is.

We are bringing the motion to enforce the agreement.

He is the payor. He stopped paying. You think he will win that?

Iím sorry you lost. It seems so unfair. Sounds like judge didnít look at the evidence.


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  #18  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Ya for sure it is.

We are bringing the motion to enforce the agreement.

He is the payor. He stopped paying. You think he will win that?

Iím sorry you lost. It seems so unfair. Sounds like judge didnít look at the evidence.


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Agreed, the judge appears to have just relied on oral arguments and my lawyer didn't say much.


If you ex is the payor and stopped paying (no reason provided) I don't imagine he will win. You never know however, that is the gamble of going to court. I would say however that as the payor, I often feel that there is a bias against them.
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  #19  
Old 03-04-2019, 02:04 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Agreed, the judge appears to have just relied on oral arguments and my lawyer didn't say much.


If you ex is the payor and stopped paying (no reason provided) I don't imagine he will win. You never know however, that is the gamble of going to court. I would say however that as the payor, I often feel that there is a bias against them.


Well his reasoning is itís above his means. As he needs to take care of his new family. He has paid half of hockey three years in a row... and taken them on his time. Now all of a sudden ďitís above his meansĒ. He doesnít consent to medical costs.... orthotics when our childís leg is shorter than the other and causing him pain. Refuses to pay half the dental bills when I had no insurance.. and just stopped paying for half the insurance after he paid it for two years.

Iím happy your kids have a father that supports them. They will be better for it. And I am sad that the courts let a mom get a way without contributing her fair share.


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  #20  
Old 03-04-2019, 02:08 PM
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The argument about his new family wonít fly. If you wanted to, you could go into canlii and search for cases like that. Some of the reasons for the ďnot buying itĒ were pretty ugly. Your ex has a responsibility to his kids not his new family. Plus those kids arenít even his biologically.

I have a feeling your next couple of appearances will be much different that the last one.
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