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  • #16
    Sounds like you have 2 options:

    1- Bandaid solution of having all exchanges through school (provided you prevail on Thursday) and avoid further court. Focus on your kid during your time and forgetting about the garbage your ex spews; or
    2- Document the pettyness and see roll the dice in court.

    Neither will change your ex.

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    • #17
      I will do both...I have impecable documentation

      We still have access assessment and she is lying to him as well.

      And next will be contempt.
      I really don't want any of this nonsense and I want a shared parenting plan to work bc that is what is best but alienation is not tolerated by anyone..I can't change her but I can protect my kids

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      • #18
        I don't mean to belabour your situation, but its Option 1, OR Option 2. If you choose Option 1, it means you are taking the high road, avoiding court (and saving yourself lots of money that can be used on kids) and simply have exchanges through school, be the best parent you can to your kids during your time, and stop worrying about what your ex is saying. In court, she can say that she talks you up all the time at her home...

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        • #19
          The exchanges are not the issue. As you said parental alienation and abuse.

          Documentation often runs into a he said / she said. Video and witnesses help avoid that.

          Exchange centers were made for this type of stuff. One parent goes in with the kids and drops them off. 5 minutes later, after they leave the other parent picks the child up. No parental contact but that means it is hard to document the other parties behavior.

          Not much help to you but others may find it useful.

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          • #20
            Question- why are you still with your parents? It seems as if she's using it for ammunition. I know the other parent shouldn't dictate your living situation. But are you still in the middle of litigation?

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            • #21
              I have my own house. Moved 18 months ago
              My kids see my parenting thoughout the weekend

              Moreso bc the element of stability and when the ex is saying my dad tried to kill her and implantimg false memories of my mom to my daughter, they have to be there to stop the manipulation..sadly it's not working

              At a handover the ex said to my daughter to tell me who the king of swearing is...and she said my dad

              Daughter also knows peculiar details of the court materials..almost like it's a bedtime story..it's pathetic

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Kkc View Post
                implanting false memories
                There are times I wish I had animated GIF skills... Imagine this image with eyes rolling.



                Seriously... "false memory theory" is coming up in your case. Please tell me that the other parent claiming this actually put this into an affidavit. LOL.

                Next thing you know you are going to have to call Rob Halford and Ozzy to testify that they don't have backward lyrics telling people to kill themselves in your music. LOL. Do you own a DeLorean that can go back in time? 1988 theories in your case. LOL

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                • #23
                  No but her affadavit is riddled with lies

                  But she is reprogramming my daughter's memories that should be positive and manipulating them to be negative

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    Seriously... "false memory theory" is coming up in your case. Please tell me that the other parent claiming this actually put this into an affidavit. LOL.

                    Next thing you know you are going to have to call Rob Halford and Ozzy to testify that they don't have backward lyrics telling people to kill themselves in your music. LOL. Do you own a DeLorean that can go back in time? 1988 theories in your case. LOL
                    I do believe that parents try to convince their child that something happened that did not.

                    Step 1) Investigators visit the children at school so a parent has less of a chance of coaching them and they were told there was no abuse whatsoever.

                    Step 2) 3 years later one of those children alienated from one of the parents and telling their friends that that parent should be in jail for violence.

                    Isn't "memory reprogramming" kind of like convincing the child something that is untrue is true?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Yes it's child abuse to alter memories

                      Parental alienation is not an overnight thing and hopefully as time goes on and more is known about it the risk factors and early signs are recognized and observed to prevent it from happening.

                      For example, someone doesn't become type 2 diabetic overnight...there is plenty of warning


                      I do think that if my issues happened 20 years ago it would he to bad so sad...but research shows how these kids get fucked up..herrs hoping courts become better equipped to deal with this

                      In 6 months my daughter went from a sweet loving girl who could be disciplined to a lying child who is very disrespectful to my family and tries to turn her brother against my nephew...it's very critical

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                      • #26
                        Just from what I read on Canlii in rulings by a Justice:

                        1) They noted the children's behavior before according to witness X,Y and Z
                        2) They noted the children's behavior after according to witness X,Y and Z

                        X, Y and Z were disconnected 3rd parties. The judge did note that the only witness that deviated was one that had their view tainted earlier.

                        So teachers, doctors, maybe neighbors. An allegation from you means nothing. I sent my child for assessments. He seemed fine mostly but still I sent him there so documentation could be done and to check him out to mitigate future issues.

                        I have my own parenting view on how to mitigate the issues you experience but getting a court order for counselling or simply taking her sounds like a good move while they can still catch the lies.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Kkc View Post
                          Parental alienation is not an overnight thing and hopefully as time goes on and more is known about it the risk factors and early signs are recognized and observed to prevent it from happening.
                          Altering memories is part of parental alienation. And yes you are correct it does not happen overnight. The good news is your child is young enough for intervention. Teens are the hardest group to reverse alienation.

                          I have done a fair bit of research based on my experience as an alienated child (started when I was 12) and as a result of my husband’s experience as an alienated parent. The book A Family’s Heartbreak was a very good view of a father experiencing it. I highly recommend it. I also recommend parental therapy for tools on how to manage it and respond. Believe it or not, there ARE ways to manage both the child and your ex that get forgotten. After three sessions my husband started introducing tips his therapist had suggested. He noticed a marked difference in the responses he got and the statements being made. His kids were older though and firmly entrenched. Their mother gave them the power to do (and believe) whatever they wanted as long as it aligned with her.

                          If you have an order (or endorsement) for change to be requested I strongly urge you to do it.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                            Just from what I read on Canlii in rulings by a Justice:

                            1) They noted the children's behavior before according to witness X,Y and Z
                            2) They noted the children's behavior after according to witness X,Y and Z

                            X, Y and Z were disconnected 3rd parties. The judge did note that the only witness that deviated was one that had their view tainted earlier.

                            So teachers, doctors, maybe neighbors. An allegation from you means nothing. I sent my child for assessments. He seemed fine mostly but still I sent him there so documentation could be done and to check him out to mitigate future issues.

                            I have my own parenting view on how to mitigate the issues you experience but getting a court order for counselling or simply taking her sounds like a good move while they can still catch the lies.
                            sorry X,Y,Z people before and after were different people.
                            It was clear one parent was lying but they never outright stated so they only put the observations in the ruling.

                            So use the same type of format and criteria for an affidavit?

                            Comment

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