Hi all,
I received an e-mail confirmation that my ex (CL) spouse has agreed to mediation, so I have begun writing up my proposal. I should be hearing by the mediator office by tomorrow (in Ontario) and I am just looking to confirm a few things as I have searched this site and seen that there are some mixed opinions or some of the responses are from 2006, so I want to be sure they are updated. Thanks again for all your help with this.
My whole intention her is to keep us out of court and expensive lawyers and I am hoping some people with mediation experience can help me understand what I will be dealing with here.
Our joint home is in both of our names and I will propose that we sell and use equity to pay out most of our debt. I will leave her with X dollars from home but will indicate that this is part of my lump sum payment for CS. Then after we pay out debts I will get a loan and pay her the rest of the CS up front as this will help her with up front costs and allow her to get things for the kids right away when needed. I am also prepared to leave her with 95% of all items in the home and will ask to waive SS & Pension (if 6 years is considered a relavent short amount of time together) but may change this if not agreed too. I will ask for joint custody but not sure about the shared custody agreement yet as I will not have a home with 3 bedrooms and will need to save for a year or so. Probably only be able to afford a one bedroom until I am back on my feet from this but will welcome all advice on this matter.
Let me know as well if I am missing anything here to be discussed.
Oh I should add that she is able to gain employment back at her previous work (still on payroll) making more $$ than before (which is also why I want to say no to pension & SS). Two of our three kids are in school and the third is almost three years old. She has a forth child from her previous marriage and gets paid monthly support for him as per guidelines.
Thanks all.
I received an e-mail confirmation that my ex (CL) spouse has agreed to mediation, so I have begun writing up my proposal. I should be hearing by the mediator office by tomorrow (in Ontario) and I am just looking to confirm a few things as I have searched this site and seen that there are some mixed opinions or some of the responses are from 2006, so I want to be sure they are updated. Thanks again for all your help with this.
- Actual time of living together CL is approx 6-6.5 years, is this considered a long period of time? We are both 35 years old.
- When I read about division of pension are we talking CPP, my work pension (only I contributed) or both? Is she entitled to this? Again 6 years worth would be a small amount?
- Spousal Support would be .5 for every year we are together, so again it may be easier to agree on a lump sum payment for this, good option? Can I negotiate amount if lump sum?
- Child Support for 3 children, I want to give a lump sum payment also, is this a good idea?
- She wasn't legally divorced from her previous spouse until March of 2009, does this change anything with her legal entitlement? I have seen both yes and no.
- I want joint custody for sure but not sure if I can swing the shared custody until I financially recover. Can I revisit this about a year from now?
My whole intention her is to keep us out of court and expensive lawyers and I am hoping some people with mediation experience can help me understand what I will be dealing with here.
Our joint home is in both of our names and I will propose that we sell and use equity to pay out most of our debt. I will leave her with X dollars from home but will indicate that this is part of my lump sum payment for CS. Then after we pay out debts I will get a loan and pay her the rest of the CS up front as this will help her with up front costs and allow her to get things for the kids right away when needed. I am also prepared to leave her with 95% of all items in the home and will ask to waive SS & Pension (if 6 years is considered a relavent short amount of time together) but may change this if not agreed too. I will ask for joint custody but not sure about the shared custody agreement yet as I will not have a home with 3 bedrooms and will need to save for a year or so. Probably only be able to afford a one bedroom until I am back on my feet from this but will welcome all advice on this matter.
Let me know as well if I am missing anything here to be discussed.
Oh I should add that she is able to gain employment back at her previous work (still on payroll) making more $$ than before (which is also why I want to say no to pension & SS). Two of our three kids are in school and the third is almost three years old. She has a forth child from her previous marriage and gets paid monthly support for him as per guidelines.
Thanks all.
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