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  #1  
Old 05-10-2019, 03:05 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Default Murderer still wanted custody of the kids

Everyone is probably well aware of the waste-of-skin that is this guy

https://torontosun.com/news/local-ne...et-at-14-years

Interesting fact though- he still fought for custody and control over his kids- and his (deceased) wife's estate. After he killed her.

because of course he did.
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Old 05-10-2019, 08:06 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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What a sick POS. My heart breaks for the children. And how was he even allowed to fight for custody of his children and cost the grandparents money in fighting back. The system is broken! The system makes it easy to pour salt in an open wound. Something has to give. I think most of us can agree the family law system needs an overhaul. Until then we are victims in it and lawyers continue to win.
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Old 05-11-2019, 10:49 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Dr.Elana Fric is one of several high profile Canadain victims of domestic violence where the perpetrator was a physician. In her case it was her husband. A few years back a nurse was stabbed to death at Kingston general by her anesthesiologist ex boyfriend at the very hospital they both worked. He went on to euthanize himself with an iv cocktail of stolen meds before he could face justice. Then of course there was the cardiologist who stabbed to death his two young children to cause his physician ex incalculable pain.

Had Dr.Shamji not murdered his wife it may have been the children he butchered instead. Alanaís death may actually have spared her childrenís lives. Why? Because they would have entered the realm of family court where actual domestic violence is dismissed and swept under the carpet with the false allegations broom!

I will repeat again. Domestic homicide is the most preventable homicide there is because there are common and glaring risk factors that are present before the heinous act is committed. It is NOT entirely up to the victim to prevent their or their childrenís homicide. The courts need to listen. Not just with their ears but how about training the family court judges to recognize the risk factors in domestic homicide as well as insisting that all recommendations from the death review committee are enacted. It should also be mandatory that each and every custody and access assessor is highly trained in domestic violence and lethality risk assessments should be conducted with all parties that even allude to a hint of domestic violence.

Dr.Fricís situation has some eerie similarities to mine. We were married for the same amount of time. Her ex threatened to kill their infant daughter. Mine did to. Her ex strangled her . Mine strangled me. ( strangulation is a flashing neon risk factor for domestic homicide). She is a well educated professional as am I ( but iím Not a doctor). Her ex was verbally and emotionally abusive as was mine. She was afraid he would kill her . I was lucky in that I live far, far away and am still breathing. The kids and I are all alive. The abuse for me after eight years is still not ended as family court litigation and stalling by the other side who I refer to as the dark side keep it going. But Iím alive.

Why did Dr.Fric stay? I have a pretty good idea why. First off, leaving does NOT mean you are out of danger or that things will get better. For me things have gotten different not better. Dr. Fric had already left once when she had him charged with assault in 2005. The average victim leaves 7 x before finally leaving for good. She may also have taken the kids and gone to her parents on multiple occasions. I did. My ex also begged to for me to let him back after both times he was charged in 2007 and 2009. Why did I take him back? Because he had changed by following the bail conditions ( or so I thought). He was sweet, apologetic and back to the man iíd Fallen in love with. I was ecstatic. He fooled me because it was what I wanted more than anything, to be happily married to the father of my children.
Even when his brain injury specialist warned me how dangerous he was I did not want to believe it. Others could see the danger and I could not. Would not see it. By the time I did see it I was emersed in family court hell where itís in their job description to minimize or ignore domestic violence.

I can understand Dr.Fricís hesitation to leave. That nobody would believe her. She was right! The family courts minimized my fears despite all the hard core evidence I had from a multitude of verified third parties , medical and psychological reports, etc. Dr. Fric wouldnít have stood a chance in family court.

The other observation I wanted to point out is that in all of these homicides at the hands of physicians, each and every one used very primitive means to kill their victims. Using either knives to stab their victims or fists. Being physicians they had the knowledge and means to kill their victims by less violent means yet choose the most violent possible. Makes you wonder if they had something inherently wrong with their brains. Like my catastrophically brain injured ex. Only their brain problem was hidden.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 05-11-2019 at 10:54 AM.
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:54 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Too many times people (including- and most esp.- the victims) ignore the emotional and verbal abuse....thinking it's words.

I've heard myself tell this story too many time:

Well- I've seen him get really angry- like break stuff. But it wasn't at me....and yes, he called me names- but it was just out of anger.

And then it gets a little closer to something more dark, something more violent. He starts breaking things- or kicks things. The time he gets in your face with that look in his eyes- we all know the look....he loses control for one small minute and says something just a bit too odd or too specific.

Shamji told his wife- when his first daughter was still an infant- that he would throw the baby in a river. There's a real difference between saying "I'll kill you- and all of us" v. saying something really specific.

But yeah- abuse isn't something that is just always there from the beginning. The really sophisticated abusers and manipulative people- they take time to groom their victims. They keep pushing the boundary just a little bit further.

That confusion and shock you see on Elana Fric's family's face - that's there because they didn't know this was coming. Sure he was bad- but they NEVER thought he'd actually kill her. She did though- something that has been in a bunch of articles is that she told her friend "If I go missing- you'll know he did it." I told my best friend the exact same thing. Word for word. That's because he told me before that he'd kill me before I got half the house. That's what it was about- money. It was the same trigger in this case- money and success. My ex is still obsessed and pissed at hell at that shame I've brought to his family.

My ex's sister told me to stop making him mad. She pleaded with my parents to talk to me and tell me ot stop making him angry.

I come from a culture where domestic violence isn't actually particularly shocking. It's a joke when a husband slaps his wife. More often than not- the wife hits back. And everyone forgets about it the next day. So when my parents heard my ex was fighting with me all the time, calling me names, etc etc, they weren't particularly THAT worried. My mom was more concerned with me living in a crap marriage.

No one seemed to see his batshit violent threat coming. I did- I tried to not acknowledge it- but I did. And his sister did- she saw it coming. She still thinks he was just mad.

But so was Mohammed Shamji- he was just mad.

Last edited by iona6656; 05-13-2019 at 11:03 AM.
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