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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #11  
Old 12-29-2018, 03:09 AM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Sounds to me like you are over-informing him. There is no reason or need to tell him who will be driving you to an appointment or anywhere else, and no need to be telling him who will be attending a child's function with you.

There is also no need for you to have to ask him first, irrelevant of how uncomfortable it may make him. You maks your plans and show up, he can decide whether to go or not or whether to stay when he gets there if he doesn't like your company.

Stop telling him stuff he doesn't need or have any right to know, it is clearly not helping anything.
This is really good stuff both for you Iona and Myself. We need to stop explaining and justifying ourself to someone who really doesn't gave 2 f's and will only use the additional information to find a home and a way to manipulate us.

That being said, I have broken my ankle too in past but was driving a manual BMW no probelm. Manual car meaning the ones witj 3 pedals (one for clutch). IF you really can't drive and have a doctor note. Then you simply say that, and leave it at that. IF you know he is going to refuse, then cab back and forth and don't say a damn word to him. Fuck him. That's the point I have gotten to with exes. Most almost everything is none of their business. They won't give a damn if you hurt yourself just as they wouldn't give a damn if you lost your job.

Good lesson for both of us to open up our eyes a bit.

I did all of the driving in our initial expanded access agreement when I was access parent. It was one of her condition for our out of court agreement. When the access agreement was slightly amended for further expanded access via court order when I was still access parent and there was no mention of who would drive, I advised her I would like to share drives and child will be ready for you at x time. She had no choice as she knew there waa nothing she could do. I was done with letting her control me and was taking my power back Now I have 50.50 and court order for whoever time it ends that parent is responsible for the delivery of the child. First point being, don't try to force him to do all the driving. It won't be a pretty easy discussion. Second and main point, you don't want to ever feel controlled by the other parent regardless of the situation.

IF I was ever in your case. I wouldn't say a damn word to my ex and just cab. EX will just use it to Lodge a cover insult and condescending toxic/negative message at me so best to avoid any communication of this nature unless it is a broken bone on God forbid, the child.

Last edited by tunnelight; 12-29-2018 at 03:22 AM.
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  #12  
Old 12-29-2018, 01:13 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
This is really good stuff both for you Iona and Myself. We need to stop explaining and justifying ourself to someone who really doesn't gave 2 f's and will only use the additional information to find a home and a way to manipulate us.
Very true. Also the problem is that itís so easy to get into disagreements who is right- when it really doesnít matter anymore.

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First point being, don't try to force him to do all the driving. It won't be a pretty easy discussion. Second and main point, you don't want to ever feel controlled by the other parent regardless of the situation.
this is a good point. I think he does feel like Iím dictating how the visits go...he agreed to do the pick ups and drops offs for the extra time over the holidays.

I sent him a message yesterday because it looks like Iím going to be in a cast longer than I expected and asked him to continue the driving after the holidays and I will reciprocate when my leg is better and do the pick up and drop offs for the next 6 weeks after.








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  #13  
Old 01-04-2019, 02:12 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Good news!

We've come to an agreement. Ex will do pickups and drop offs until my ankle is healed- with the exception of Wednesdays- he said he can't do it. I will make arrangements. When I'm healed- I agreed to take over all driving duties for the same amount of time - approx. 6-8 weeks.

Let's hope 2019 is the year we're both reasonable with each other.
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