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Old 02-19-2019, 04:51 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
I need your thoughts, prayers, good vides etc as S(4) is in intense care sedated at our local childrenís hospital after a freak sledding accident.

Thinking of you Kate and sending positive vibes. Feel free to message if you just want to chat or vent or whatever! Hoping your little one will make a speedy recovery. I cannot imagine what youíre going through. Stay strong!

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Old 02-19-2019, 10:34 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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I'm so sorry, Kate. You and your little one are in my thoughts.
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Old 02-19-2019, 11:27 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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really sorry to hear this. Just as if the child didn't have enough to put up with because of all the custody crap. Your innocent little one is in my thoughts and I'm sure everything will be okay.

I would not criticize / blame your ex.

Tayken, are you referring to OCL? I thought that the OCL social worker conducting custody assessment can't wear hat of personal or family therapist.

Last edited by tunnelight; 02-20-2019 at 12:11 AM.
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Old 02-20-2019, 02:28 AM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Thanks for all the messages and pmís!!! Iíll try to answer back in due time.

Son went through the first of many surgeries. First was 6 hours, that was the longest 6 hours of my life! Surgeons asked for a recent pic so they could try and make him look the same. Of course I did provided a pic after I vomited.

There was more damage then they first suspected, the swelling is an issue. But again not life threatening. He will need extensive dental work in the future as well as reconstruction of one of his cheek bones as he grows.

Ear damage is still undetermined as the swelling is still too intense but he can hear from one ear.

Torn ligaments in his neck and his jaw break has him in a neck brace which unless sedated he fights to pull off when alert enough. After all his Austinís therapy he seems to have gone back in time, but we are all hoping this is temporary. He canít use his words anymore to tell us his comfort/pain level.

Feeding tube has been removed and we are feeding him through a syringe via a small opening in his mouth. Lots of broth and milk shakes. Of course he is still on an IV drip for hydration.

His speech has definitely regressed and I communicate with him through sign language I taught him when he was a baby. This will be a challenge as his progresses with his recovery.

Do I blame my ex Iíve gotta be honest ďsomewhatĒ the park in particular had been closed to tobogganing and the city had posted warning signs. Also question why he wasnít at the bottom of the hill to ďcatchĒ them but was at the top of the hill getting in position to sled himself. That said Iím not much of a winter person and rarely take them sledding unless itís warm and have fluffy snow. My activity with them is usually swimming and they could have been running on a pool deck, slipped and fell and had an accident too.

I also feel if injuries of this extent had been on my time, ex would have been very critical of my parenting skills and lack of judgement. So as horrible as this sounds I think itís a lesson learnt and Iím grateful it wasnít on my time. I think my ex now knows parenting isnít easy and accidents can happen. Nobody wishes this on their child. And a freak accident doesnít make you a horrible parent.

This could be a new beginning for us and our acrimony towards each other. There has been no issues with his treatment plan, whoever is with the child at the time in hospital is signing conscents forms with no issues. We are both participating with treatment meeting and/or keeping each other informed.

I have been granted time off from my job short term. Iím doing the day shift from 9:00 am till 9:00 pm and my ex is now doing the overnight shift. Heck I finally got my 50/50

Itís going to be the long haul, time will tell if he will help with the aftercare and numerous appointments and treatment needed. I hope so.

As far as any OCL, Court etc, that all has been put on the back burner until this child is cleared medically even to come home. I donít give a shit anymore.

Right now I canít see the child being shuffled back and forth between two homes in the condition he is in right now onceís released. A nesting situation comes to mind. But after this amount of time since separation Iím not sure we want each other in each other homes. We can cross that bridge when we get closer to a hospital release date. And as Tayken has said will use the social workers assistant.

Certainly the older child s(8) can continue on the current access schedule. My mom has been tending to him in the meantime, but I have also reached out to exís family when they come visit and ask what they can do help. I feel his extended family could help with his older brother so the 2 of us can focus on meeting youngest needs at this time.

Again thanks for all the warm wishes, grateful for your support. Life certainly gets put in perceptive. My 4 day stay at this hospital so far has shown me, my life troubles are insignificant compared to parents that are facing the life and death situations with their child(ren).
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Old 02-20-2019, 04:14 PM
Norris-level Defence Norris-level Defence is offline
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So sorry to hear this. Sending my best vibes to you and your little guy.
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Old 02-22-2019, 03:54 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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I am relatively new to this forum but have been a silent follower of your issues before the accident because they seem to almost exactly mirror my own situation (except for my child does not have any special needs- I still enjoy my ďmeĒ time though!)

This post brought me to tears. I will be thinking and praying for you guys, I cannot imagine what you are going through. It is nice to hear that both you and your ex seem to be working together at the moment to make sure your child is being cared for. Be sure to go easy on him as well, I bet he has a mountain of guilt weighing on him right now.

Keep us Updated, this sounds like thereís going to be a long road ahead of you
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