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Could we be forced to move back?

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  • #16
    Wow Raven, you have been so helpful, thank you!

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    • #17
      Where did your ex file divorce paperwork? In Alberta?

      Ask that your file be transferred to the court in Ontario, that is transfer jurisdiction, citing that the children are now more substantially connected to Ontario. Note family, schools, friends, activities etc.

      Beneficial so you don't have to pay a lawyer to rep you in Alberta as you can do it yourself in Ontario.

      Also helpful if the court in Ontario has a greater turnaround time on cases--some courthouses are notoriously inundated with files.

      The downside for you is that you took the children without court consent and without his agreement (it sounds like it). You will need to explain to a judge why. It's not generally a good idea but there are case law in which a judge is ok with it.

      Look up on canlii for case law similar to yours.

      CanLII - 2004 BCSC 868 (CanLII)

      This is one. Mom left with kids who were both under 4 after dad moved in with best friend. She left for home. He waited 15 months to file paperwork. Judge said though removal was wrongful the dad didn't take into consideration that he'd left her in a situation with two small kids and no money. So he allowed the file to transfer.

      As for custody, these days judges are not so keen on awarding sole custody. there are piles and piles of NCP who see their kids once maybe twice a year if lucky, yet have joint custody of kids far away in different time zones or even countries. You would probably have to prove why with evidence that he is not suitable to have joint custody. Maybe perhaps the alcohol makes his judgement poor, but you will need evidence of this in the past. Not just hunches or hearsay. Perhaps the violence is an issue but again there must be evidence.

      You said he was agreeable to your choice of school. That is good. Perhaps if you think the both of you could work jointly on an area of the kids lives, then seek joint on that but sole on the other. That is, maybe offer to share decision making on education, but if you have absolute impasses on religion, ask that you make those decisions solely.

      At the end of the day, with the distance between you, most likely even if you get joint custody, a judge will say you have final decision on the issue and he can take it to court if he disagrees.

      Good luck

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      • #18
        Thank you GladtobeSingleAgain! You have been extremely helpful!

        I'm baffled, because my lawyer already contacted my STBX in March to start negotiations and he messaged her that he'd provide full financial disclosure in May (he still had to complete 4 years worth of income taxes... plus he wanted to go on a 2 month army course). Then again in June he texted me telling me he was moving forward with getting taxes done and retaining a lawyer, and I was given the impression that we would be working together, and avoiding the court process. Then he suddenly turned around and served me?!?!? I don't know what to think.

        In case I decide to seek sole custody, do you think the following would stand in court? I've made a 911 call where police came and took a report (he came home extremely drunk one night with blood all over himself trying to convince me he was a warrior. When I chuckled, he threatened to come after me with his fist) On another occasion he provoked a fight with his brother (breaking his rib) in front of his entire family and later got a public intoxication charge. His own sister later told us that her daughter no longer felt safe in our home. I've also called the Distress Centre where a women came and provided support in my home.

        My greatest concern in all this is that he is a trained soldier and his place is loaded with guns. I've had to receive therapy because he was so mentally and emotionally abusive... my therapist thinks I suffered from Post-Tramautic Stress.

        I am just so, so, so tired....

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        • #19
          Originally posted by HBW View Post
          Just in case he's serious, what are the chances are he'd be granted joint custody and we have to move back? The kids (now aged 4 and 6) are long established here and have a good—safe—home!
          So long as you didn't do anything as outlined in the following threads / case law you shouldn't have anything to worry about:

          http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ase-law-12665/

          Hong v. Rooney, 2012 ONSC 120 (CanLII)
          Date: 2012-01-05
          Docket: FC-10-034352-00
          URL: CanLII - 2012 ONSC 120 (CanLII)
          Citation: Hong v. Rooney, 2012 ONSC 120 (CanLII)

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