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Old 04-04-2007, 10:45 AM
inlimbo inlimbo is offline
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Unhappy Agreement vs Final Order

Dear friends,

I have a Final Court order which ex admits now to have obtained it fraudulently.

My main issues are (2): custody/access and Child support. That's it.
With lawyer, I have only been addressing issue#1, but my lawyer had made ex's lawyer aware of my issue#2 via letter a year ago. Ex didn't address it, neither did I.

For the past one year, both lawyers have been "trying to reach a resolution by negotiation." Both sides focusing only on Custody/Acess matters.
This has simply translated into letters...letters and more letters unfortunately regarding ex's requests to changes in his regular access (every other weekend) i.e pickup/drop off times, ect.

My approach had been to address custody/access (or 'child-related' issues) first and separately, then tackle C.Support/ ex's income separately (this is due to ex's refusal to disclose and I thought it would cost me a lot to focus on it). It is important to note that I never told my lawyer that they would be addressing Child Support issues on my behalf: They recently asked me to discuss with them how I wished to deal with 'financial' matters, but I felt we were muddling up the issues since for the past year we have focused on the details of custody/access.

It is one year later, 20K under, and nothing to show for it.

I understand that lawyers are people in business, and not all of them are bad. I recently paid up my bill with 1K excess. I know that by paying I am simply demonstrating my ability to pay. I don't have that ability anymore though. I am scared of accumulating another 5K in 2 months time and still have nothing. My lawyer makes me feel like we are just about to reach the finish line, but we never seem to!
My problem is that my lawyer and I do not communicate very well. I find my lawyer to be impatient, extremely aggressive and overly abrupt; they don't like to be asked questions. High-end $450/hr rate and quite intimidating (I suspect they even intimidate my ex's lawyer).

I have nothing to oppose in terms of custody/access (child-related) issues, but my lawyers seems to drag it on. Last week we addressed what I thought was the last issue; summer vacation access. My lawyer seems to prefer month-by-month addressing of issues. I don't.
So far, my lawyer has charged me for drafting 2 Offers to settle, which amounted to nothing. I have since given in to a lot b/c I want this to end. Given what I have now, I do not wish to address 'financial' matters with my lawyer.
Must I tell my lawyer that?
Must I say to lawyer now whether I wish to seek or forgive arrears?
Could addressing of 'financial' matters be what is preventing a "final" Order?
I am scared to answer $$ question to lawyer. I feel they may punish me for it if they realize that I want to end with them without adressing $$ with them. Can they force me to address issue just to frustrate me?

Yesterday morning, the other side sent letter asking when my lawyer plans to give them a draft.

Yesterday evening I spoke to my lawyer and the comment "Well, I am not going to draft anything now, when we are ready I shall draft an Agreement and this is in consideration to you in terms of cost."
Well, I am lost. This is new to me. I was under the impression that we were to reach an Order on custody/ access and not simply an 'Agreement.
Is it not possible?

For 20K+, I feel an 'agreement' is an understatement. I could have represented myself and just talk to ex's lawyer back and forth until we "agree"!!!
Am I missing something?

#1) A "draft" of what?
Should it be a draft of "Final Court order on custody/acess matters" or should it be a draft of "Agreement"?

#2) Can one decide and then tell lawyer that draft an Order on custody/access as opposed to an Agreement? What are the legal implications?
#3) Who decides which side does the 'draft'?

My problem is that my bill accumulates very fast with phonecall talks btwn the lawyers, which of course I cannot justify their need,frequency,or content. This bothers me and I don't wish to address it, I just want to focus on the outcome - get something or get out. I don't know what to think.

Please tell me what you see....and what you think....and what you'd do.
I am too close and too involved emotionally to be rational at this point.

I thank you all very much for your exceptional support.

Old 04-04-2007, 03:55 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 479
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Well.. welcome to divorce hell. What you have here is both common and not common. Some lawyers love to drag things out. Some people like to drag things out. Get both together... and it's a BIG drag.

Fire your lawyer.

BTW, you have a final order? Huh? So what is the issue here. Are there new motions? Why are you back into re-negiotiating?
Old 04-07-2007, 12:11 AM
inlimbo inlimbo is offline
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 59
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Default HOW do I fire my lawyer?

Hi Decent Dad,

Thank you for your reply.
Oops, I posted a reply to above post on the parenting forum(re; vacation schedule):

What would you say in a letter to fire any lawyer?

Decent Dad, I most definitely am not satisfied with my lawyer. My lawyer is overly intimidating and I can't believe I pay her to give ME ulcers !!!!
Each time I get on the phone with her my stomach turns!

Yet, I don't know HOW to fire my lawyer.

I have paid up my bill + 1K excess;
will I have to deal with them to get my file back or can it be couriered to me?
Can lawyer refuse to give my file back? Can they remove documents? ect

It may be that I have become 'chicken' over time but I really don't want to talk with her over the phone either. My lawyer is very direct (more like confrontational) so I don't want difficult conversations. Besides, they talk so much and so fast that by the end of any conversations I have had with her, I never know what just hit me....and they always manage to get their way!
Please don't say that obviously all I have to do is say, "You are fired!"
Right!? as I said. It is my fault that I can't.

You are all most welcome to help me write a letter to my lawyer to end this insanity. I want to move on....and if ex wishes to pursue the courts further, so be it. I shall oblige but at least I would not have to pay someone for it.

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