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  • #16
    Expect they will play dirty. You can’t stop that. Just bide your time until the mediation and go from there. If she is adamant about kid going there she will push it to trial wasting more money. The argument is on your husbands side and the ex is risking paying his lawyer too.

    Deep breath. There are enough things to worry about but this isnt one!

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    • #17
      Reference the Divorce Act definitions of special and extraordinary and research the case law to be prepared. Lots of lawyer blogs can be found on this topic online.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Abba435 View Post
        Reference the Divorce Act definitions of special and extraordinary and research the case law to be prepared. Lots of lawyer blogs can be found on this topic online.

        Don’t waste your energy on this. Your husband has a lawyer. If the ex is willing to push this to trial your lawyer will be prepared for this. There are limited cases available for free on post secondary and out of country cases rarely make it to trial here. A judge at a conference will set her straight pretty quickly its just a case if she actually listens.

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        • #19
          Thanks for the advise. Appreciate all your thoughts & views.

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          • #20
            Apparently, they have tried to apply for financial help and was given USD24,000 for the first year so far. The school states in the statement of the funding provided as ‘financial aid based on family circumstances’(amazing on how did they pull it through to ‘fake’ that they need the money) instead of a scholarship.

            In their defence, they quoted UOT, Western U & Queens on business finance undergraduate which costs about CDN$60,000 for all 4 years in total tuition fees. Which means $15,000 per year for tuition. If one were to add the cost of living, transport and books supplies, guesstimating about CDN$10,000 per year on the high side of cost, it’s only CDN$25,000 per year. Surprisingly without evidence to support their proposal, they have proposed a high amout of annual cost of CDN$45,000 per year with 70% to be paid by my husband insisting that they will proceed to Ivy Wharton.

            With a counter proposal to them to only pay a Canadian equivalent of undergraduate school, they have immediately requested for a mediation ( as anticipated as anything that does not go their way, they can’t live without).

            Any advise or thoughts on a good way to tackle these people when in mediator?

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            • #21
              You dont have to go to mediation and if you arent going to budge from your belief kid can go to school in Canada then it is a waste of time and money.

              Have you done your own research into those schools tuition costs? All of that info is available online. You could also look at rentals etc. Most schools include estimates on annual costs.

              I would also look at the school they have chosen in light of the pandemic. Many schools are not anticipating in person classes and considering your child is an international student, there may be restrictions.

              Do the research and throw it back. Tell them that you know kid can get a similar and adequate education in Canada and you do not believe mediation will work.

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              • #22
                Yes we believe that the kid can attend a Canadian equivalent school. We have also checked the cost for the tuition and accidental costs.
                We have presented to them then they requested a mediation saying that they do not agree with the proposal and that there is no solution with my husband.

                In our responses to them, it’s stated clearly that my husband:
                - does not believe that no Canadian school is better than the US equivalent
                - that he will only be paying his proportion of a Canadian equivalent with numbers attached which is generously higher than an average Canadian business undergraduate just to refer to their schools quoted.
                - that the success of a student depends on himself , not the ivy school that is going to set him up to a successful future if he does not work his way.
                - that he disagrees that this is the only school available and that he is. Oy supporting them proceeding with ivy.

                They just shun everything away and just wanted a third party to decide and they are hoping that the mediation will agree on their side.

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                • #23
                  A mediator is not a judge. Your husband needs to remember that. His lawyer will recommend he try but again, a mediator is not a judge and will only attempt to get them to meet somewhere in the middle.

                  Unless there is a compelling reason why the kid absolutely has to go to this school then she will fail in her argument. Your husband may need to just push it to a judge.

                  What has his lawyer said about it?

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                  • #24
                    Sigh, this lawyer so far had not commented to my husband whether his case is more towards his side or that the other party holds a stronger case. The lawyer was just merely copy and pasting what my husband responded back to the lawyer. The lawyer has been too busy with so called covid urgent cases.

                    The lawyer, sadly, has not suggested any new idea or proposal to help counter their proposal too and it was my husband who has provided every single response to support himself.

                    True what you said about a mediator versus a judge. If this goes to court, I’m sure that most highly, thejudge will decline the unnecessarily needs to be studying in this Ivy schools as to oppose to many other Canadian schools & probably telling the other party to just live within their means.

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                    • #25
                      Then that has to be your husband’s response. Lawyer or no lawyer. I will pay my proportionate share of education costs within Ontario. We cannot afford this school and if KID chooses to attend then the onus is on KID to contribute significantly.

                      Or something to that effect.

                      I meant to ask before...what are the parent’s educations? Did they put away money in an RESP? What is kids’ plan for contributing?

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                      • #26
                        Send them an offer to settle stating you will pay for your 1/3 share of post secondary costs for the child to attend school in Ontario or Canada. Do not go to mediation! Total waste of money. Wait for them to take you to court or accept your offer to settle.

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                        • #27
                          Cost...

                          I think budgeting 60k tuition only for 4 years of business school is quite low. Business school is very expensive. Does the child qualify for any scholarships or bursaries? OSAP has changed the way they do their calculations and only one parent needs to put down their annual income. My ex put down his because he makes less than I do. They have also taken out the student contribution this year due to Covid. I just applied for my children and have yet to hear back. The US always states "financial need" and not a play on word with your husband's ex. We made over $250k as a family and still qualified for parental need. They mess around with the numbers to get the student. OSAP applies to USA schools as well. How much total is the USA school tuition plus living expenses? Just do the math. How much cost for each school total subtract financial aid money and divide by 3. A student is expected to contribute too. A little hard for a student to come up with money but maybe the OSAP loan may help. Is the child getting the student Cerb Covid payment to help out or do they have a job? On the bright side, we may not have to deal with this due to distance learning due to the pandemic. Not ideal but a silver lining for expenses. My son's USA school is assuming they are going ahead with on campus schooling but my other child's Canadian school may be online. I expect to save about 10k this year plus just waiting for OSAP calculation. I will keep saving for 2-4th year. Now matter what your husband should budget 10k per year minimum for his share of schooling.

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                          • #28
                            Thanks for your thoughts & sharing.

                            Both parents are Canadian university educated, are professionals and they have the RESP all ready. Per their divorce settlement , they are supposed to use the RESP first before any money out of pocket.

                            My husband is hoping that they do that as it seems to indicate in their last reply that they are thinking otherwise, which is not wise of them.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Budgeting $60K is quite low... are you referring to a US school or a Canadian school?

                              No, he is not qualified for a bursary nor scholarship but just appealed to get a financial aid.

                              The other party are extreme narcissists so they are portraying the kid to be super fabulous by trying to pull strings from some friends who are in high position at job to ask to visit their facilities then used tgatcas to ‘how great that he is invited to pay a company a visit’ duh!!!!!

                              Also, they are supposed to look at options and provide Ku hysband Ruth some choices but with their attitude, they have (always been) having the need to just select the most expensive schools ( same as when they have been always need to buy only the branded expensive stuff), without consulting or discussing with their Father and make the sole decision and just tell him to pay. That is alsoone issue that my husband have been pushing back as he was not given the opportunity at all to consider more than one school.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Forget the US school

                                Unless the RESP is substantial and can cover a large portion of his schooling I would hold firm that the child will go to a Canadian school. If he is a mediocre student and trying to get any Ivy League education he will most likely be back after year one. This all has to be reasonable. First term is due August 1st with deposits due soon for some schools. This will not get resolved in time for the child to attend school this year unless he finds some good resources. Just do the numbers game with it 1/3 split like most judges find fair for post secondary unless your husbands agreement says otherwise. Whose name is the RESP in? Did he contribute to the RESP? There is no reason that the RESP should not be used. Post secondary education is the reason it exists. Have they applied for OSAP? If they haven't then they really have no idea how much money they have to fund the schooling. Post secondary and especially going to school in the USA is very confusing. The child will need to get his N1 Visa in order with the school, finances, residence, osap and other financial aid in order plus purchasing insurance for the USA. An international student cannot go to school without purchasing insurance from the school. There is regular and athletic. My company covers insurance out of country but only for 30 days so student insurance is required. This will run about $700-1000 for the year. I am on my son now about his financial aid/grants and athletic scholarships now and time is running out. Documents need to be signed and sent in asap.

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