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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 10-28-2019, 09:56 PM
seeker101 seeker101 is offline
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The criminal case is finally done. I've been found not guilty and all criminal charges are dropped.

I have sent the consent form to ex's lawyer for signature.

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  #22  
Old 10-29-2019, 05:52 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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I suggest you bring the matter back to family court and get things properly ordered. You should be doing more than trying to get info from the daycare. Info that is useless.

1. Access
2. Custody

Restore your proper access and custody. Who cares about info from the daycare?!
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  #23  
Old 10-29-2019, 10:58 AM
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Thanks for the feedback Tayken. I have asked for gradual access expansion incl overnights as well.

Officially, it is still supervised access but for the last 4 months or so, I had been seeing my daughter for 8-12 hrs (unsupervised) every 3-4 weeks, even while criminal matter was still outstanding. The ex agreed to that after I had ~15h of supervised parenting time.

So far, there have been no issues and daughter is always happy to spend time with me.

We're due back in family court in Dec for S/C so I've initiated the discussion with ex to see if she would be agreeable to make normal/expanded access incl. overnight official on consent.

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  #24  
Old 10-29-2019, 10:58 AM
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Sorry for the duplicate post, I've edited it.
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  #25  
Old 10-29-2019, 11:23 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker101 View Post
Thanks for the feedback Tayken. I have asked for gradual access expansion incl overnights as well.

Officially, it is still supervised access but for the last 4 months or so, I had been seeing my daughter for 8-12 hrs (unsupervised) every 3-4 weeks, even while criminal matter was still outstanding. The ex agreed to that after I had ~15h of supervised parenting time.

So far, there have been no issues and daughter is always happy to spend time with me.

We're due back in family court in Dec for S/C so I've initiated the discussion with ex to see if she would be agreeable to make normal/expanded access incl. overnight official on consent.

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Have you guys tried using a parenting coordinator/ parenting coach?

They can help you with a graduated parenting plan- and instead of you and your ex fighting on the timing of when your daughter can do overnights- some neutral third party will make suggestions, that are focused on what's best for your daughter instead of what either of you wants- AND the comfort level of mom.
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  #26  
Old 10-29-2019, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Have you guys tried using a parenting coordinator/ parenting coach?



They can help you with a graduated parenting plan- and instead of you and your ex fighting on the timing of when your daughter can do overnights- some neutral third party will make suggestions, that are focused on what's best for your daughter instead of what either of you wants- AND the comfort level of mom.
That would work if their decision is binding. Or will we have to agree first that decision of parenting coordinator is final?

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  #27  
Old 10-29-2019, 11:38 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by seeker101 View Post
That would work if their decision is binding. Or will we have to agree first that decision of parenting coordinator is final?

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You'd have to agree to their decision being binding- but that's not really their purpose. The PCs help you come up with a parenting plan/schedule. And then you both have to agree to include it in a final order.

It has to be VERY specific though- not "increased time as agreed to between the parties"

Our parenting planning has specific dates when overnights start, when and how they're expanded, etc etc
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  #28  
Old 10-30-2019, 09:22 PM
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This matter is way too complex for a parenting coordinator. They make minor decisions like the vacation schedule. This needs full-on arbitration or court order.
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  #29  
Old 10-30-2019, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
This matter is way too complex for a parenting coordinator. They make minor decisions like the vacation schedule. This needs full-on arbitration or court order.
I feel the same... knowing my ex and the stunts she's pulled in the past, I'm afraid PC will just be a waste of money if it's not binding.

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  #30  
Old 10-31-2019, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
This matter is way too complex for a parenting coordinator. They make minor decisions like the vacation schedule. This needs full-on arbitration or court order.
Totally disagree. It depends on the PC and whether the parties are willing to try to engage in getting to a parenting plan. And frankly- how much the lawyers for each party are pushing it.

My ex- in our first session went a bit nutty on me. Just lashing out on everything he hadn't had the chance to say to me since before he was charged and spent the night in jail for assault and threatening to kill me and our infant (at the time) daughter. He proclaimed that day that "mark my words. We're going to end up fighting this out at University Ave"....and we did end up at the Unversity Ave. court- but to table a parenting plan on consent that we painstakingly (emphasis on "pain") worked out with our PC.

It took a couple of months of discussing D3s needs- and frankly our "FeeEELliNgs" before we got down to the business of hammering out a parenting plan. Which- yes, does include a vacation schedule.

My point is medium conflict cases- and even some high-conflict ones can use PCs successfully. It's just about how much both parties are willing to listen to the PC. And frankly that comes down to how good the PC is. If they're good- they'll get both parties to see the benefit of having someone who is child-focused lead the discussion.
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