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  • Denied access "indefinitely" due to pandemic

    Covid strikes again. Naw, just an ex that will use any excuse possible to deny access.

    I don't know if anyone has any advice. I don't know if maybe I just need to vent/moan/grieve.

    Husband's ex has unilaterally cut off all access due to concerns during this "unprecedented" situation. I could possibly understand this if she were isolating, but she is not and so neither is the son in question.

    He sent an email outlining the precautions we've taken (and take daily) as a household and cited all of the relevant authorities. He included a link to the article on the latest decision about access and Covid.

    She replied back that it's not happening and that it is her son's choice not to come.

    Here's the problem.....kid is 15 (turning 16 in a few days). He has a brother here and they get along very well. She has restricted all phone access and won't allow him to come over.

    What would you do?

  • #2
    You do what I did. You start an urgent motion. The ex cannot do what she is attempting to do. Mine kept my kids from me for two weeks. Thankfully, during that time a landmark decision came down that court orders, agreements, etc must be followed as children need both parents right now. As soon as his lawyer received notice of the urgent motion, my boys were home by dinner time that day. Cutting off phone calls is going to sink her too.

    Motions like this will definitely be heard; just do it. She will loose.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by cranberry View Post
      You do what I did. You start an urgent motion. The ex cannot do what she is attempting to do. Mine kept my kids from me for two weeks. Thankfully, during that time a landmark decision came down that court orders, agreements, etc must be followed as children need both parents right now. As soon as his lawyer received notice of the urgent motion, my boys were home by dinner time that day. Cutting off phone calls is going to sink her too.

      Motions like this will definitely be heard; just do it. She will loose.
      Will it be heard for a 15 year old though?

      Comment


      • #4
        Please see this important thread. This has already been covered.

        https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...d.php?p=241670

        Comment


        • #5
          I've read all the threads and am clear on how to proceed if we have to. The issue is that the child (15 turning 16 in less than a week) is claiming he is under no pressure and it is his decision not to go. So is it worth going through the process of an emergency motion at this time? Will the process just cause undue trauma when a judge is going to say "he's 16 now so doesn't matter" even though he's been brainwashed since he was 5.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by lulubuttons View Post
            I've read all the threads and am clear on how to proceed if we have to. The issue is that the child (15 turning 16 in less than a week) is claiming he is under no pressure and it is his decision not to go. So is it worth going through the process of an emergency motion at this time? Will the process just cause undue trauma when a judge is going to say "he's 16 now so doesn't matter" even though he's been brainwashed since he was 5.
            Not for a child over 14. The matter is more complex than COVID-19. You would need OCL to interview the 16-year-old. This, unfortunately, has more to do with the parent-child relationship than COVID-19.

            A 16 year old can drive a car. They can make decisions. They can lock you out of their health care info and other private information. In 2 years they vote and move out.

            Comment


            • #7
              A judge will not be impressed with your ex despite the fact that your son is nearly 16. It would still be worth a try and you may in fact be successful as the law does apply to those under the age of 18. The judge may even wish to speak to your son directly in these unusual circumstances. You won’t know what will transpire unless you try. One thing that is for sure is that your matter does fall under the category of “urgent” in these times and will be heard. In that regard you already have an advantage.

              Comment


              • #8
                We are just so frustrated that once again, his mother can do whatever she likes and we are left to deal with it.

                Lawyer sent a letter outlining the usual. No response. Do we sink another 20G's into lawyers fees again (had to do this 2 years ago for a similar issue)?

                I know it's easy to say do this or do that, but in all reality, what would you really do?

                In the end, we can just put another one in the "things I'll have to explain about taking the high road when you're older" column.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  Not for a child over 14. The matter is more complex than COVID-19. You would need OCL to interview the 16-year-old. This, unfortunately, has more to do with the parent-child relationship than COVID-19.

                  A 16 year old can drive a car. They can make decisions. They can lock you out of their health care info and other private information. In 2 years they vote and move out.
                  Thank you for the response. It's so frustrating to see someone use this situation to their advantage for no other reason than the fact that they can.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by lulubuttons View Post
                    Thank you for the response. It's so frustrating to see someone use this situation to their advantage for no other reason than the fact that they can.
                    The 16 year old doesn't want to go. The excuse is COVID-19. I suspect the other parent is giving them more freedom, game console systems, a car to drive, freedom, phones and money. Generally a 16 year old chooses to live with the wealthiest parent. Its unfortunate but, a reality and a statistic.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Document as if you were a court reporter.
                      Stay calm.
                      13 year olds plus will decide with their feet.
                      Pick your hill to die on.
                      And take care of yourself.
                      When the conduct of either parent comes up (and it does) I tell them one day when they are about 25 we will sit by a lake with a beer and I will tell them everything. Until then, I make sure to do my best to support them thinking their other parent is ok and doing their best. My kids are in their early teens.
                      This ain't easy.
                      Take care of yourself so you can love the kids as best you can.
                      Don't take the bait.

                      Comment

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