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How common is sole custody awarded?

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  • How common is sole custody awarded?

    Keeping with my title: How common is sole custody awarded when there is a father involved, wanting to be involved, and who is seeking to play a large role in his sons life?

    Recently I was given an offer by my ex which included: sole custody to her; one day per week on sunday's; every second weekend from saturday til sunday night; and wednesdays from 3:30 til 9 during school holidays and summer vacation. She also stated that I would be required to help our son with homework on occasion. I was shocked! I am a teacher! She has NO education...does not even know how to turn on a computer!

    I am so disgusted by this! I want to play a role in my son's life...as a father..not as a glorified babysitter!!! I can hardly believe they even have the nerve to offer this! How common would sole custody with this type of arrangement be given any consideration by a court? Especially given that I've been fighting for a relationship since we separated...and desperately desire to be a father to our son. I can't believe this....

    GDGM

  • #2
    I'm going for sole custody with supervised access. My ex is asking for joint legal and 50% parenting time.

    Considering he hasn't showed up for his supervised visitation since March. I'm hoping *win* in Sept. I do wish he would get his act together for his daughter's sake.

    I certainly feel like asking for no access, seeing he can't make an effort but I'm not sure that would really work in my favour.

    mominont

    Comment


    • #3
      Gooddadgoingmad

      I am not familiar with statistics, but if you have been and active person in your son's life since the seperation, and have consistantly saught increased access and if there is no way she can misconstrew your actions since the seperation, IE towards the son, then I would go out on a limb and say you have a good chance at 50/50 but sole custody after your wife has had that status may be very difficult. Remember how this all works, status quo always wins out. If I were you, I'd establish a parenting plan, put it on paper and impliment it immedialty, then you'd also have a status quo in place for returning to court for 50/50. Courts like to see a parent putting the children first, and they love parenting plans, especially those that work or have been put into action.

      http://www.justice-canada.net/en/ps/...0/SelStats.pdf

      This site has some interesting facts on marriage and divorce in Canada, based on statistics Canada files.
      79% of the time mom's get sole custody, and 2.9% of the time when shared custody happens it is mainly with mom. But we all knew this was the case.
      A good read just the same.

      FL

      Comment


      • #4
        Statistics can be interesting.


        Generally there is a presumption of joint custody and just because one parent objects to such a regime for the child is not a sufficient reason to deny the child joint custody if historical co-operation and communication has prevailed. [1]. The court will also consider if one parent on the quest for sole custody has deliberately refused to co-operate and communicate to sabotage the feasibility for a joint custody arrangement. Courts are very aware of this tactic.

        In some cases; Courts have also been known to order joint custody when one parent has marginalized the other parent out of the life of the child.


        [1] Kaplanis v. Kaplanis, (2005), 249 D.L.R. (4th) 620 • (2005), 10 R.F.L. (6th) 373 • (2005), 194 O.A.C. 106

        http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onca/doc...anlii1625.html

        At paragraph 2 of the judgment WEILER, Karen, J.A held...
        [2] For the reasons that follow, I would agree with the mother that the order of joint custody should be set aside on the grounds that the trial judge erred in principle in awarding joint custody (a) where there was no evidence of historical co-operation and appropriate communication between the parents,


        lv

        Comment


        • #5
          Because of my job, I am unable to physically have the kids for 50% of the time at this point, and am following a schedule not unlike what GDGM mentioned - every other weekend, weeks in the summer, etc. We do, however, have open communication with regards to the kids.

          Based on status quo, would a judge give sole custody to my ex or could I still get joint custody with her as the custodial? It's a bit of a grey area there... I mean, does one have to literally have the kids 50% of the time in order to get joint custody?

          Comment


          • #6
            There is no reason why you cannot ask for the 50/50 however there is a strong possibility that the judge will grant the status quo unless you can provide exceptional reasons why not and to go with 50/50.

            Comment


            • #7
              About_Time,

              Certainly you may have joint custody, and the mother be primary caregiver. This would allow you to be involved in all decisions regarding your child and be inculded in everything to do with school and such. The fact that your work schedule does not allow you to share 50-50 time does in no way not permit you to be a meaningful part of you childs life and have have a say in your childrens care.

              Even if status quo has set in and a judge would not change this, I would imagine you can still have joint cusody, just not shared custody.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by logicalvelocity
                Statistics can be interesting.


                Generally there is a presumption of joint custody and just because one parent objects to such a regime for the child is not a sufficient reason to deny the child joint custody if historical co-operation and communication has prevailed. [1]. The court will also consider if one parent on the quest for sole custody has deliberately refused to co-operate and communicate to sabotage the feasibility for a joint custody arrangement. Courts are very aware of this tactic.

                In some cases; Courts have also been known to order joint custody when one parent has marginalized the other parent out of the life of the child.


                [1] Kaplanis v. Kaplanis, (2005), 249 D.L.R. (4th) 620 • (2005), 10 R.F.L. (6th) 373 • (2005), 194 O.A.C. 106

                http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onca/doc...anlii1625.html

                At paragraph 2 of the judgment WEILER, Karen, J.A held...
                [2] For the reasons that follow, I would agree with the mother that the order of joint custody should be set aside on the grounds that the trial judge erred in principle in awarding joint custody (a) where there was no evidence of historical co-operation and appropriate communication between the parents,


                lv
                Hi LV

                This is very applicable to my situation. My ex is seeking sole custody based on our inabililty to communicate. Despite my MANY attempts to discuss our son, it is always thwarted with her becoming very nasty and to the point of becoming hysterical.

                In the past 1.5 years I have sent three registered letters to her seeking information about our son. I also suggested that since we cannot seem to communicate effectively on the phone, that she use email as a viable alternative to communicate with me regarding our son. Three times I have provided her with my email address and she has never utilized it. I have copies of these registered letters which are very polite and show that I am trying to find appropriate remedies to our communication problem.

                I am hoping that these letters will be my trump card in court, to show that despite my efforts she is the one who is causing the problem with the lack of communication and therefore it is she who it doing what is in our son's best interest. I feel that this will win me huge brownie points...at least I hope!

                I will document your citing above for future reference with my own situation. I feel it is very applicable to me.

                GDGM

                Comment


                • #9
                  sole custody

                  I got my wish in court today...Sole custody and supervised access visits. It was exactly what I wanted. The judge had tons of patience with my ex and told him what would happen if things went to trial.

                  The judge told him that if it went to trial they would take the opinions of the 5 medical doctors and social worker report over what he believed to be the problem.

                  mominont

                  Comment

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