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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-25-2011, 04:21 PM
dadx3 dadx3 is offline
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Default living separated under same roof, can she "force" her mother's living in the house ?

I would much appreciate your urgent response.

I am currently living separated under the same roof with her and the kids and she now wants to "force" me to accept her mother's coming to live in the house. Can she "legally" do this ? I do not know the legalities behind this other than we both have equity and occupancy rights (although I owned the house at the time of the marriage and remained sole owner which makes me I guess the legal owner). I would imagine that neither one of us can introduce a "sub-tenant" without the express written content of the "other party".

This is about creating difficulties for me not needing help with the kids as I am fully engaged with them in the morning/evening/weekend.

What is my soft/hard recourse to this ?

many thanks
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:23 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Not sure about whether or not you can stop it. However, should G'ma attempt to interfere with your parenting duties, you can tell her to get bent as she is not the parent in the situation. Journal every attempt by g'ma to interfere.

Also, I HIGHLY (read - CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH SO FREAKING DO IT) getting a digital voice recorder. While these recordings are inadmissable in court as to parenting styles or whatnot, THEY ARE GOLD against a false DV claim. So when G'ma comes over and the inevitable arguments start about who does what, you can use the recordings to prove you in no way acted hostile and you always acted in a business like manner.

Outside of that, go radio silent with your ex about anything not related to the children. All communication should be via email and solely related to the children or matters where you are negotiating a settlement.

Should g'ma interfere with your caregiving, email the ex and advise her that g'ma interferred with your regular caregiving and would appreciate it if g'ma ceased and desists from doing so in the future. Rinse and repeat as necessary to build a paper trail.

But again, the digital voice recorder. Keep it on 100% of the time in the house. Download it each night to a secure computer. And only communicate via email where possible. If you have to speak to the ex, always speak in a civil manner and ONLY relating to the children. Do not allow her to get visibly under your skin. If you find yourself getting frustrated, leave the vicinity to calm down so you don't say/do anything stupid.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:23 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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You indicate to her or her counsel (if she's lawyered up) that you do not consent to her mother moving in, and that you don't feel it's necessary, appropriate or in the children's best interests.

If she does it anyway, you take your email notice not consenting and file for exclusive possession of the mat. home, citing her attempt to provoke conflict in the existing arrangements.

If you want to combine this with Hammer's recommendations, it'll make your argument that much more compelling. ie. The ex invited G'ma to come in, G'ma interferes, ex does nothing.

You ARE wearing a voice recorder at all times in the home correct? The quickest way to get the guy out is to file a false DV complaint. Things can get dirty when you separate.
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Old 01-26-2011, 02:45 PM
dadx3 dadx3 is offline
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many thanks HammerDad and NBDad for your comments

voice recorders are in the home however i have to keep them up. yes my concern is false DV.

how do yo uthink the police would react to a call/request to remove g'ma if ex forces her in ? worst come to worst if they do not act on it at least, it's on record right ?

trying not to go to any extreme ie calling cops or filing for excl poss as i am concerned about impact on kids from conflict escalation etc

any other thoughts, experiences or legal interpretations ?

dadx3
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Old 01-26-2011, 03:34 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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I would have your lawyer state you don't consent with her being there. I doubt there is much you can do as you are each allowed to have guests. I mean, you could invite your mom and have a free-for-all going on.

I would just note your displeasure and should g'ma try to interfere advise your ex that g'ma is not a parent and therefor should not interfere with your parenting duties.
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