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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 05-07-2007, 11:54 PM
crispy crispy is offline
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Default mother of kids involved in dealing drugs with kids in the home

You can refer to my other threads about my situation. My source has told me today that on March 30, 2007, my ex admitted to her that she gave the new bf $2300 to buy one pound of marijuana with the intention of selling it. My source has told me that she is willing to sign an affidavit regarding this, and since around that date, there has been a safe that appeared in my house. I know that if she is busted, she's in a lot of trouble, because that would be trafficing. I don't know what to do, because this is around my kids, and its driving me nuts. I also spoke to her today and I sent a letter to her lawyer requesting a paternity test on my youngest daughter, because dates line up that she might not even be mine. My ex received the information today, and called me disgusting, and lots of other things. Basically really defensive and attacking me at the same time. She also called me back later in the afternoon regarding my oldest, who is a spitting image of me, and requests a paternity test for her too. That's really wierd that the mother would request a paternity test. She also went to state that since we're not sure if either of them are mine, I'm not allowed to see the kids until we find out the results. What should I do? I'm waiting to hear back for advice as to what to do. Please help.
Old 05-08-2007, 07:18 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Its unfortunate that this is occurring but your source information is hearsay evidence. Even if the individual completed their own affidavit its not sufficient to convict. For a criminal matter, the level of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt.

Is your ex is a drug user, perhaps drug testing may be appropriate.

Even if an anonymous call were made to the police, I suspect the police would just monitor the situation for trafficking.

If the children are introduced to such an environment, it does question the other parent's ability to parent the children effectively.

It appears you pretty much have to go for DNA testing and since she is insisting on your oldest child to be tested; have your ex pay for such where you could pay for the youngest. Such testing will cost about $800 per child and is 99.9% accurate.

I believe your ex is wrong withholding the children as your presumed to be the father under the CLR act until proven otherwise.

see the law:

Children’s Law Reform Act, R.S.O. 1990, CHAPTER C.12

Section 8(1) deals with presumption of paternity
Presumption of paternity

8. (1) Unless the contrary is proven on a balance of probabilities, there is a presumption that a male person is, and he shall be recognized in law to be, the father of a child in any one of the following circumstances:
The presumption they speak about is a legal presumption
1. The person is married to the mother of the child at the time of the birth of the child.
I believe you are married to your ex, therefore this is relevant
2. The person was married to the mother of the child by a marriage that was terminated by death or judgment of nullity within 300 days before the birth of the child or by divorce where the decree nisi was granted within 300 days before the birth of the child.
not applicable to the situation
3. The person marries the mother of the child after the birth of the child and acknowledges that he is the natural father.
(Naming yourself on the children's birth certificate is acknowledgment)
4. The person was cohabiting with the mother of the child in a relationship of some permanence at the time of the birth of the child or the child is born within 300 days after they ceased to cohabit.
This applies too even though you are married
5. The person has certified the child’s birth, as the child’s father, under the Vital Statistics Act or a similar Act in another jurisdiction in Canada.
being named on the children's birth certificate
6. The person has been found or recognized in his lifetime by a court of competent jurisdiction in Canada to be the father of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 8 (1).
not applicable at this point in time

There you have it, on the balance of probabilities you are presumed to be the father and as such your ex has no legal authority to deny the children's access. Just document the denials if they occur.

No doubt she is expecting retribution back, However you do have a choice to respond gracefully and avoid the mudsling. Names on paper don't hurt but demonstrates her character. By the way, I hope your recording your phone calls.

If it was me I would point out that at law the legal presumption exists that you are the father until proven otherwise. Therefore, until the DNA results come into the equation the children's access should occur.

Old 05-10-2007, 05:42 AM
crispy crispy is offline
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thank you lv, that information is going to help me see my kids this weekend, or at least try my hardest. I'll let you know that I've been recording our conversations for about the past month and a half. Ever since I found out that some stuff was not right. I currently have close to 10 hours of conversations on tape and on my computer. Once again thank you for your response.
Old 05-10-2007, 06:59 AM
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Default FYI on the tape recordings

Just a word of advice, which may be something you already know.
Do not modify the recordings in any way. We taped our calls, then transferred then to a CD for the court, but decided to only include the pertinent parts of the conversations, omitted all the empty spaces and dead air in the conversations. Of course what was left was in no way changed, nor did we alter what was actually said, the ex still argued that we manipulated and took them out of context. The judge would have listened to them had we not taken anything out. As this was viewed as us "altering" the recordings. Do NOT change them in any way shape or form; keep everything as is even if there is allot of dead air etc. If possible keep a copy on your computer and submit the actual tapes and provide a list in the form of an appendix for what is on each tape. IE number them, and indicate at point - 123 on tape (#1) side (A) is telephone call dated May 5 2006, @ 4:45pm etc.

We found submitting the original tapes and providing a CD of the actual recordings for the ex was acceptable to the court. We have also provided sworn transcripts for the court to read with the option to listen to the actual, unaltered tape recordings
Old 05-10-2007, 07:21 AM
crispy crispy is offline
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thank you fl, I have not altered the recordings at all. If I had a time that I tried to call her or something when there was no answer, I simply just deleted that part. I chose to get a digital recorder as there was no background noise from the tape or anything and it picks everything up crystal clear.
What I am going to do today, is to stop by the police station here and voice my concern about what is going on in my home while I am not living there. At the very least I made a report as to my concern, now what they decide to do is up to them, if the want to watch the house, or just go right in, is up to them. This has been something that I've been thinking about for a couple days, but everytime I think about it, my mind stays the same. My kids do not deserve to be in this kind of environment. And at the very least, I can find out if it has stopped.
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