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  • Secondary education is too high

    My husband’s eldest son (with former wife) is about to complete his high school this year. He has selected to go for the most expensive business school in the US (Ivy) and has been selected to be accepted based on his rowing sport merits. But the cost is too high and can not be afforded by my husband.
    They are still in correspondence through lawyers and my husband had expressed his unaffordability and he was involve in their desicion making. That has been the issue all the way this that’s why the divorce. The ex and bth sons are very narcissistic characters. Always their ways, always the most expensive brands in everything and never respected their Dad. Not even addressing my husband as a Father anymore since 2015.
    How does my husband able to refuse paying that much money or refuse to support this decision of selecting this school?

    They are talking about CDN$111,000 per year for 4 years.

  • #2
    Originally posted by WorryAnne View Post
    My husband’s eldest son (with former wife) is about to complete his high school this year. He has selected to go for the most expensive business school in the US (Ivy) and has been selected to be accepted based on his rowing sport merits. But the cost is too high and can not be afforded by my husband.
    They are still in correspondence through lawyers and my husband had expressed his unaffordability and he was involve in their desicion making. That has been the issue all the way this that’s why the divorce. The ex and bth sons are very narcissistic characters. Always their ways, always the most expensive brands in everything and never respected their Dad. Not even addressing my husband as a Father anymore since 2015.
    How does my husband able to refuse paying that much money or refuse to support this decision of selecting this school?

    They are talking about CDN$111,000 per year for 4 years.
    If this matter went to court and the child has always schooled in Canada the probability of a judge ordering that the child attend a US school over a Canadian one would be highly unlikely. Especially post-secondary.

    It is very hard for a judge, who is a public servant, to say that a Canadian school is not as good as a US school. Case Law that says no equivalent educational opportunity in Canada exists for the child is slim to none. Basically that is a high ranking government official (the judge) saying that UFT, Queens, Waterloo, you name it... all suck.

    If this matter sees itself going to court hire a good lawyer. They can easily destroy this. They will position it as the ruling would be a statement against the quality of education offered to all Canadian citizens.

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    • #3
      If they are going to go there for a sport then they may be eligible for a scholarship no?

      From my husband’s case the judge said if there is a local program then his obligation is for the local program and it is not unreasonable to expect the child to contribute a significant portion of the expense.

      Your husband can simply tell them he can afford his share of a local education or even possibly a provincial education but he will not be contributing to an education outside of the country.

      More than likely the ex will come back with a motion but the onus is on her to prove that the child can only get that type of education outside of Canada (she won’t be successful).

      In his response he must also advise her that he will seek costs for his legal fees.

      Comment


      • #4
        If they are going on rowing merits they are getting a scholarship. If they are going to an Ivy league school and its Division 1 and they have good grades they are getting most of their schooling paid for. I have children in Division 2 schools (sports) in the USA and I only pay for their living expenses and tuition is paid for. Cost for us per year is approx 7-10k. We made the choice that if they were given scholarships and the cost is less or equal to university in Canada then they could go. I would expect that to be reasonable and if the son still decides to attend then he can take out loans. Ask the son if he has received a scholarship. Schools don't recruit from Canada expecting Canadians to pay the international student fee. NOBODY pays the full fee unless your parents are beyond wealthy and have bought their way into the school. The schools are given huge grants and funding for sports.

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        • #5
          Sorry for adding ‘ he was NOT Involved in their decision to apply for this school or education at all’.

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          • #6
            The son has received a financial aid instead for his first year for $24,000 after an appeal, which means the cost is still $54,000 for just the first year. He didn’t receive any scholarship.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by WorryAnne View Post
              The son has received a financial aid instead for his first year for $24,000 after an appeal, which means the cost is still $54,000 for just the first year. He didn’t receive any scholarship.
              Then he will be going to a CND school. The probability of a judge ordering this is very low. And with what Donald is pulling lately a judge will even be less inclined to send a CND citizen to school in the US... Borders closed... Wartimes measures act to force 3M to direct all product shipments to the US... Ya... good luck with a CND judge telling them that the US is better.

              I once saw a motion where a parent was trying to force private school on a parent. When the judge asked why the public school wasn't sufficient it got really funny. After the parent finished crapping on the public school the judge revealed that her children attended that very school. Then ordered the kids to go to the school.

              Remember judges are (a) Canadians and (b) often live in the local area they serve.
              Last edited by Tayken; 04-03-2020, 11:30 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Tayken, and all, thanks for sharing some lights here.
                Tayken, when you said ‘once you saw a motion’, do you mean reading up from an article or a friend in Ontario going through this or have You dealt with as a lawyer or a Judge?

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                • #9
                  Heart attack. Triplets. None can row.

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                  • #10
                    Sorry? Triplets? None can row?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by WorryAnne View Post
                      Sorry? Triplets? None can row?

                      Abba is simply inferring that he is screwed as he has triplets who will all be going to school at the same time.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        Abba is simply inferring that he is screwed as he has triplets who will all be going to school at the same time.
                        No athletic scholarships are likely at this point. From my experience Ontario universities are superior to any US school academically. The only advantage is in the networks of the alumni in the states. I have taught grads from both systems, Canadian grads are no worse and often better educated.

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                        • #13
                          Abba435 --- you have triplets?? Omgoodness, I thought twins were a handful! Lol!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cranberry View Post
                            Abba435 --- you have triplets?? Omgoodness, I thought twins were a handful! Lol!
                            Exponential handful not geometric Cranberry. It's always something, and when it's not something then it's something else. But it's ALWAYS something.

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                            • #15
                              So, now, the ex wife is asking her lawyer to look at my husband’s T4 & if already filed, his tax return by saying that they would propose something and still insisting to go to Ivy.
                              We are wondering what would they propose since no matter what they propose, the point is that Ivy is too absurd for a business study , it’s too ridiculously expensive and not worth it whereby one can get into Canadian schools which might be equivalently great.

                              They do have a mediator in June for reviewing the secondary school for this son though but they wanted to propose ahead of time and they are hoping that my husband would agree. Pathetic people.

                              Comment

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