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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #31  
Old 09-17-2019, 01:44 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
My wife knew from the beginning about my daughter, so she was knew about the ex. It took a while for her to realize how difficult she was/is, and how she impacted my life. I figure it really became apparent when we moved in together, as I couldn't really hide how the ex made me feel and the issues I had with the ex when my wife and I were around each other 24/7.

For me, part of overcoming the ex and opening up with my wife was learning how to be treated. My ex treated me like crap. I could do absolutely no right in her eyes, even when she professed to love me. She was passive aggressive with manipulating me, and would constantly put me down. It took me years to really realize I was in an abusive relationship.

My wife was previously married when we met. She initially hesitated to tell me, figuring I would judge her. But she knew about my ex, so she felt it appropriate to be honest with me. I wasn't fazed by it. The divorce had been finalized, they had no kids. There was simply nothing connecting the two anymore, so for me it was a non-issue.

It is nice now as my wife is very supportive to me and loving of my daughter. They are peas in a pod. I just wish my ex would find it in herself to get over herself. She is the "woe is me" type, complaining about the fact that her life isn't how she envisioned. IMO, if she wasn't such a bitch, maybe...just maybe.... one of the 2 or 3 guys she was engaged to may have stuck around.

I just wish she wouldn't involve our daughter in her drama as much. She openly tells my daughter if I don't do something she wants. She texts her say "Just remember he's never around. I'm the only parent you have", or "If I could change your dad I would" or more recently called me cheap to the kid. The kid even said over the weekend that I am an easy target for her mom when her mom is upset. The kid even said that she worries about money and stuff as her mom involves her in it, and that she is 13 and shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that.


Yep!! Almost exactly my husbands situation!!

I had a really hard time understanding my husband’s behaviour at first. He would sleep walk after talking to her and then say some really horrible shit (“you’re right, I deserve to sleep on the floor”) which really upset me. Or if I wanted to pay for something or put him on my benefits he would go into this protective shell. The ex also taught the kids to abuse him and his constant battles with them were even worse as he wanted so much to have them love him. When I broached therapy he was against it since they spent ten years in marriage counseling. When I finally said to him “you were abused, you need help overcoming that” he understood. It took about four years for me to get through to him that I loved him unconditionally. Since we got married he has relaxed even more. I just about fainted when he said he needed to register my name on the house deed! He constantly tells me that if he had known marriage would be as good as we are he would have left a long time ago. I understand his reasons for staying. Its hard to weed out the crap.

As for his ex and kids...despite thousands in therapy she claims they needed they are no further ahead emotionally. They all still hang onto this anger and resentment. The express desire to punish him makes me cringe. I want to say to them there is a reason your mother is still single.

I firmly believe that you have to set reasonable expectations for what you want. Meaning, if you want love and respect, you have to give it. If you want a crazy ideal of perfection, stay single as it doesn’t exist. Don’t let someone put you down or treat you badly. And definitely don’t “stay for the kids”. All that does is fuck them up in the long term!!
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  #32  
Old 09-18-2019, 09:28 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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That's my thought, but it is hard to be objective because I'm reasonably geeky myself so even though I'm not familiar with most of the fanexpo stuff, I still find it interesting. I don't want to spend the money and then have to deal with bored kids .
Yeah- it's expensive as hell now. wtf @ like $150 for a weekend pass. It's really increased. And I suspect I'll have to pay for D3 next year. But it might be worth it because she's just so enamored with the MCU right now and Justice League.

And I've never paid for the autographs...but bloody hell they're expensive. I know there are other events all weekend outside of the actual convention...I just don't know where they are.
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  #33  
Old 09-18-2019, 11:09 AM
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And I've never paid for the autographs...but bloody hell they're expensive.
I almost did once... Eliza Dukshu was there. The price was insane though. People talk about printing money, but nobody has really seen it happen in person until you see a celebrity at a convention.

I spent some time trying to calculate her hourly earnings that day. I forget my final conclusion but it was staggeringly high.

I used to get free passes to FanExpo, I'm sad I can't get them any longer.
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  #34  
Old 09-18-2019, 02:58 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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I almost did once... Eliza Dukshu was there.
That one would tempt me as well! Her in Buffy was like the hotness...
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  #35  
Old 09-18-2019, 03:09 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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I almost did once... Eliza Dukshu was there. The price was insane though
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That one would tempt me as well! Her in Buffy was like the hotness...
typical men. Willow was clearly the best of the lot.
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  #36  
Old 09-19-2019, 12:42 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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typical men. Willow was clearly the best of the lot.
She had her moments for sure! The nerdy, cute, innocent one. Then that time at band camp happened, and all that innocence was lost..lol
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