Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 08-29-2019, 05:34 PM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 141
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road
Default Rant - so she's late again

So the ex is late again, all summer and every exchange she is not there. I wind up waiting in her driveway. Right now I'm clocking in at 1.5 hrs (they went back to school shopping knowing it's my weekend)... the last time was 4 hours !!! (she was visiting family and forgot it was my only vacation week for August)

Why do I wait? Because she won't communicate and instead puts the kids in the middle by getting them to text. Usually at the last minute.

Like today, 30 min late. I text asking when she will be there so I don't waste time waiting. An hour late at this point, she got my daughter to text that they are at the mall. 1.5 hours late another text from daughter saying they are almost done but won't be here till six. Again I tell my daughter it's not her business to text on her mom's behalf.

So now forget spending time with the kids tonight ... it will be race to grocery store, which I could have done. Then very late supper etc... the usual parental routine.

Am I used to it? Yup, brought cell charger, downloaded a couple tech shows and playing some music. She's had that "people can wait for me" attitude for as long as I've known her. The worse is that my daughter pays for that behaviour.

End rant...
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-29-2019, 05:58 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 685
iona6656 is on a distinguished road
Default

that's some bullshit.

I wish I had some kind of tip...but I don't. My ex brings our daughter down to the lobby of his condo 25-30 minutes late each and every wednesday evening. Although it's only 30 minutes...the issue becomes that instead of leaving at 5:30 to drive home for 40 minutes- it's actually 6:00pm. Daughter is 3 years old. She expects her dinner on the table at 6:30...even though I have the food ready to go, we don't get home till 6:30 most days and by then she's just a mess. Crying and screaming.

I've asked her dad to give her a bigger snack at 4 to try to curb some of the hunger...yesterday he told me she had a popsicle at 3:30...a fucking popsicle. how is that a snack?!???

If the solution is "let him have dinner"- yes, I know this. He doesn't want it- YET - he says. He said let's introduce it to her gradually...w. t. f. ...truth is- I think he is supposed to be "working from home" when he has her Wednesday afternoons- and he has to hustle to go do work after she leaves.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-30-2019, 01:46 AM
sucessfuljourney sucessfuljourney is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 12
sucessfuljourney is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
I've asked her dad to give her a bigger snack at 4 to try to curb some of the hunger...yesterday he told me she had a popsicle at 3:30...a fucking popsicle. how is that a snack?!???
How is that not a snack? How is it any of your business?

For other readers...When I had this issue/accusations from ex - that I did not properly feed the children/starved them on my time, I wouldn't even respond to her and would purposely ignore her. She escalated to lawyers to be further ignored and ultimately tried her accusations in court to have the judge take them in straight into one ear and straight out of the other.

Although I like the honesty of the dad allowing his kids Popsicle in the summer.. I highly advice against communicating to ex's who make such criticism, try to exert such control over time with your kids, and feel a need to "recommend" or make "recommendations". This particular poster also had an issue with ex feeding their kids chicken mcnuggets and posted a whole thread about it. Ironically, my ex hated me taking kids to McDonalds too... meanwhile accusing me of not feeding the kids..



To original poster...ask mom for make up time. If she doesn't give it to you, you could try remedy from court to reduce her access. I have seen judges take away parenting time from parents with bad behavior. I would not send any pissed of texts to her or mom. Just, "I'm waiting for the kids. it is now my parenting time." Once the access is over, message again. "I choose to have make up time on Thursday from 3 PM to 8 PM." (You get to choose make-up time). Rinse and repeat. She will hopefully stop.

I personally would avoid court altogether and start taking time from her if she keeps doing this crap and refuses makeup time. Mostly because I know it would resolve the issue. I lied. Last time I tried that she turned around and denied my access altogether. But then I had to go to court and for good reason. Her last ditch argument to justify her actions was "the child always comes home hungry". She never dared mess around with my parenting times again.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:55 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,293
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sucessfuljourney View Post
How is that not a snack? How is it any of your business?

For other readers...When I had this issue/accusations from ex - that I did not properly feed the children/starved them on my time, I wouldn't even respond to her and would purposely ignore her. She escalated to lawyers to be further ignored and ultimately tried her accusations in court to have the judge take them in straight into one ear and straight out of the other.

Although I like the honesty of the dad allowing his kids Popsicle in the summer.. I highly advice against communicating to ex's who make such criticism, try to exert such control over time with your kids, and feel a need to "recommend" or make "recommendations". This particular poster also had an issue with ex feeding their kids chicken mcnuggets and posted a whole thread about it. Ironically, my ex hated me taking kids to McDonalds too... meanwhile accusing me of not feeding the kids..



To original poster...ask mom for make up time. If she doesn't give it to you, you could try remedy from court to reduce her access. I have seen judges take away parenting time from parents with bad behavior. I would not send any pissed of texts to her or mom. Just, "I'm waiting for the kids. it is now my parenting time." Once the access is over, message again. "I choose to have make up time on Thursday from 3 PM to 8 PM." (You get to choose make-up time). Rinse and repeat. She will hopefully stop.

I personally would avoid court altogether and start taking time from her if she keeps doing this crap and refuses makeup time. Mostly because I know it would resolve the issue. I lied. Last time I tried that she turned around and denied my access altogether. But then I had to go to court and for good reason. Her last ditch argument to justify her actions was "the child always comes home hungry". She never dared mess around with my parenting times again.


I feel as if you should read the whole posts before commenting something ignorant. A popsicle is not a snack to tie a child over until dinner because Dad decides to be late. Maybe your response should have been how her ex needs to be on time and then said snack wouldnít be required? As for the chicken nuggets... this child has a known food allergy... itís nice to see you support fathers putting their children in harms way though


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-30-2019, 10:29 AM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 141
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road
Default

So she was 2.5 hours late in the end. As well my son was not there, she had let him go to a friends house. So I drove 30 min to go home, just to drive back to town to pick up my son. He had finally picked up his phone and told me where he was.

I usually make up the time as I do both pickup and drop off. And I always sent "business" like texts, no point arguing with a wall.

@ ionna : Thankfully I don't have that issue. My ex does not have any schedule for food apart of we eat when we are hungry. As well she will usually get them take out when they are out and about.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-30-2019, 11:10 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 685
iona6656 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asphenaz View Post
So she was 2.5 hours late in the end. As well my son was not there, she had let him go to a friends house. So I drove 30 min to go home, just to drive back to town to pick up my son. He had finally picked up his phone and told me where he was.

I usually make up the time as I do both pickup and drop off. And I always sent "business" like texts, no point arguing with a wall.

@ ionna : Thankfully I don't have that issue. My ex does not have any schedule for food apart of we eat when we are hungry. As well she will usually get them take out when they are out and about.
Do your kids know she's pulling these stunts? Or is it that mom allows them to do a fun activity *just* before your time starts to mess with your parenting time?

my daughter needs a schedule for her food because she often forgets to tell people when she's hungry- cause she's three. You only really know it- when she starts to chuck stuff at your head; cause three year olds are savages when they're hangry.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-30-2019, 11:17 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 685
iona6656 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I feel as if you should read the whole posts before commenting something ignorant. A popsicle is not a snack to tie a child over until dinner because Dad decides to be late. Maybe your response should have been how her ex needs to be on time and then said snack wouldnít be required? As for the chicken nuggets... this child has a known food allergy... itís nice to see you support fathers putting their children in harms way though


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
he knows. it's tunnelight. it's painfully obvious.

but yeah- popsicles are not snacks. since she was young she's had weight gain issues (because she's so restricted in what she can eat)- her pediatrician really strictly told me "NO JUICE- it's empty calories...and D3 can't afford to eat foods that aren't nutrient dense". I've mentioned this to the ex- but meh. His parenting time. I don't make an issue about it- I just send a polite email on OFW repeating the request to bring her down on time- and try to give her some more calorie dense snacks (like vegan grilled cheese or chocolate oat milk, etc). For now- it's nothing that I'm SUPER concerned about because I still am able to bring her home and feed her a full balanced meal.

I sound like a helicopter parent...but really, he could feed her fast food for ALL her meals if it didn't have the potential of killing her. I've even told him- if you're stuck out and about- New York Fries are safe for her- he just has to ask them to use a clean pair of tongs to take the fries out of the deep fryer. I do it all the time- and they're super accommodating.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Consistently Late - Available Options? Soiled Parenting Issues 11 01-28-2019 12:45 PM
she's moving out dadontherocks Divorce & Family Law 3 09-20-2011 10:10 AM
URGENT! Filing Late rmccallion Divorce & Family Law 3 09-02-2011 05:53 AM
What would you consider a legitimate excuss for being late? MommaMouse Parenting Issues 3 08-25-2011 04:20 PM
Rant away!! InterprovincialParents General Chat 108 01-23-2011 05:19 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:49 AM.