Hoping someone can help me with the best course of action. I have a ten year old daughter, her father and I split up when she was one. Since then she's lived with me, and he's had access as often as he wants or is able. While in town, he would take her every other weekend, or every weekend, and most recently he was taking her every weekend and sometimes a day through the week, dependant on his schedule. There have been three different occasions when he's moved either out of the province for six months at a time, or several hours away. During the six-month-period times there was no contact, except occasional phonecalls.
Now he's moved to the other side of the country (for work), and would like to have her for the summer. He had asked me just after he moved about her moving there and living with him. I told him she wasn't mature enough to make a decision like that (she spent days trying to decide who to stay with for Christmas, and ended up crying over it more than once.)
I want to serve him with papers, and I'm hoping to get sole custody with reasonable access. I have always been reasonable with him, he has taken her out of province for the summer before, which I'm fine with. I'm only afraid that this time he may just keep her once he has her out of province, and then I'll have to fight to get her back, while he's establishing a new "normal" and can use that to keep her. There's nothing wrong with him as a father, I just don't think he understands how moving across the country could affect her. She also has aspergers and adhd, which he completely denies, despite being given a copy of the assessment done by a professional, which bothers me as he doesn't want any treatment being done. He lost his mind when I told him I was going to try her on medication to see if it helped her. And he disagrees with her having a tutor, or any extra educational help (he says I'm just too easy on her and she needs to work harder )
Am I right in assuming that I've had defacto custody all these years? Is there anyway I can phrase this to be as non-confrontational as possible in the papers I send him? I don't want a big fight. I just want the arrangement we've always had anyway to be on paper so he can't just take off with her without me having any ground to stand on.
Thanks for your time!
Now he's moved to the other side of the country (for work), and would like to have her for the summer. He had asked me just after he moved about her moving there and living with him. I told him she wasn't mature enough to make a decision like that (she spent days trying to decide who to stay with for Christmas, and ended up crying over it more than once.)
I want to serve him with papers, and I'm hoping to get sole custody with reasonable access. I have always been reasonable with him, he has taken her out of province for the summer before, which I'm fine with. I'm only afraid that this time he may just keep her once he has her out of province, and then I'll have to fight to get her back, while he's establishing a new "normal" and can use that to keep her. There's nothing wrong with him as a father, I just don't think he understands how moving across the country could affect her. She also has aspergers and adhd, which he completely denies, despite being given a copy of the assessment done by a professional, which bothers me as he doesn't want any treatment being done. He lost his mind when I told him I was going to try her on medication to see if it helped her. And he disagrees with her having a tutor, or any extra educational help (he says I'm just too easy on her and she needs to work harder )
Am I right in assuming that I've had defacto custody all these years? Is there anyway I can phrase this to be as non-confrontational as possible in the papers I send him? I don't want a big fight. I just want the arrangement we've always had anyway to be on paper so he can't just take off with her without me having any ground to stand on.
Thanks for your time!
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