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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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Old 02-23-2010, 04:59 PM
MsD MsD is offline
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Default About separation agreements

I've been reading thru various posts on separation agreements and trying to get my head around a few things

1. A few threads have stated "sent (the) ex a separation agreement", indicating that this was done a "few months ago", and that the negotiations are still ongoing.

I am planning to go with mediator, and understood this to mean that the agreement will be a joint effort with the guidance/assistance of a single person (the mediator). Yes, I understand that any agreement will need to be reviewed by our respective laywers before signing off

The scenarios I'm reading, however, suggest something completely different.

2. Also, I'd like to know who determines the amount to be paid for support. I found the Dept. of Justice's child support calculator and guide, but what about spousal support?

3. Finally, is it unreasonable to request spousal support while still living in the family home while we negotiate the separation agreement? My income during the summer months is limited to a few hundred dollars at most for the whole summer, simply because I am the primary caregiver and cannot work outside the home during the day when they are at home unless I pay for childcare, at which point, I'd be working for about $5-10 a day (part time work). Bear in mind that I am considering this option because I will not be able to find an appartment with such limited funds in my bank account - few landlords will consider me a good prospect.

Thanks in advance,

My intro:
Old 02-23-2010, 06:47 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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There is a link on these forums that occured very recently that explains Spousal support calculations very well. I've not had to deal with that issue with my own situation, and there are others here that have more experience than I....

As mentioned, a family law attorney should have access to the software to calculate spousal support. Since you aren't actually "married" I'm not sure how that affects things.

(Normally you'd get spousal for 6 months - 1 year per year of in your instance (assuming that common law counts) you could ask for it for 7.5 - 15 years. )

You mentioned you work part time, is there any chance of moving into a full time job with them? Look into that. Ideally you want to have full time employment.

Unless one of you is able to "buy out" the other from the home, you are likely looking at it needing to be sold. (unless other arrangements can be made)

You are already maintaining separate bank accounts (good). Get out of bed with him financially. (ie. anything like joint lines of credit, credit cards, etc need to be frozen or go)

How long this process will take is dependant on how amicable things stay once you tell him. There are a ton of different ways to manage things, every situation is different. (ie. if keeping the kids in the matrimonial home is important to both of you, you could always both get a 1 bedroom apartment nearby, and trade week on/week off at the home during your time with the children.)

I'd definately recommend you pay for an hour or two of time with a good family law attorney.
Old 02-28-2010, 02:59 PM
scoobydoo scoobydoo is offline
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I am proceeding with mediation and am hopeful it will work out well. Concurrent with this the ex and I getting independent legal advice on one issue. Lawyers and mediators are not mutually exclusive.

As stated in a lot of places the mediator prepares a report that can then be taken to a lawyer to have a separation agreement drawn up.

Lawyers and mediators have software that can make the calculation simple but a good aproximation of how much YOU will have to pay is this:

40-46% of (monthly take home pay - table child support)

As a side note either lawyer can draw up the agreement. Choose whichever one costs less. However, you must not pay for your ex's independent legal advice. No good lawyer should accept you money anyway as its a conflict of interest. Drawing up the agreement is not.
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