Hello,
I want to start by saying I appreciate this forum and have been reading for a while in hopes that I could find a similar story to mine.
I have two young boys, been separated (now divorced) for 2.5 years and have a signed separation agreement that includes joint custody and the boys being under my care, approximately 65% of the time. Ex has every other weekend, one weeknight one week and two the following week. In our separation agreement, it stated we would revisit the idea of 50/50 if he could handle the current agreement since, at the time, he was barely doing that.
Since signing the separation agreement almost two years ago, I could give hundreds of examples of emotional abuse and parental alienation. As well my ex has had numerous vacations that cause him to give up his time and rarely ever asks for the time made up. To give some light on the situation, a few examples include:
- giving me the middle finger in front of the kids and asking them to as well (I took my son to a local community therapist where he articulated this and drew a picture)
- refusing therapy for the boys because he states "he has boys, not girls" (I have the email)
- made it very difficult to get his consent for allowing me to take the boys on a trip because he states "he does not want his blood around my father" (I have the email)
- he continues to communicate his dislike for me, my dad, my brother and my boyfriend to the boys
- recently he told them if they cannot behave at one of his sporting events he took them to (school night starting at 8 pm) they are never allowed to go to his house again
- And so many more examples...
I have been very reasonable and never have I disrespected him in any way, all my communication with him has been through email, and I have kept it very polite and straightforward.
We are currently waiting for mediation to resolve his request for the two additional nights a month, so the access is 50/50, and he can lower his support payments.
Does anyone have any knowledge/experience with any of this? How likely will they change the schedule to allow him the extra time? My entire body says any more time with him is not beneficial to the boys. I know they love him, and I know they like going to his house, which I'm not discouraging, but for their overall health and mental wellness, I would prefer just one weeknight and every other weekend.
I also think it would be beneficial if I could get final decision making because everything is a battle with him. How likely would a judge make this decision based on emotional abuse?
Thank you!
I want to start by saying I appreciate this forum and have been reading for a while in hopes that I could find a similar story to mine.
I have two young boys, been separated (now divorced) for 2.5 years and have a signed separation agreement that includes joint custody and the boys being under my care, approximately 65% of the time. Ex has every other weekend, one weeknight one week and two the following week. In our separation agreement, it stated we would revisit the idea of 50/50 if he could handle the current agreement since, at the time, he was barely doing that.
Since signing the separation agreement almost two years ago, I could give hundreds of examples of emotional abuse and parental alienation. As well my ex has had numerous vacations that cause him to give up his time and rarely ever asks for the time made up. To give some light on the situation, a few examples include:
- giving me the middle finger in front of the kids and asking them to as well (I took my son to a local community therapist where he articulated this and drew a picture)
- refusing therapy for the boys because he states "he has boys, not girls" (I have the email)
- made it very difficult to get his consent for allowing me to take the boys on a trip because he states "he does not want his blood around my father" (I have the email)
- he continues to communicate his dislike for me, my dad, my brother and my boyfriend to the boys
- recently he told them if they cannot behave at one of his sporting events he took them to (school night starting at 8 pm) they are never allowed to go to his house again
- And so many more examples...
I have been very reasonable and never have I disrespected him in any way, all my communication with him has been through email, and I have kept it very polite and straightforward.
We are currently waiting for mediation to resolve his request for the two additional nights a month, so the access is 50/50, and he can lower his support payments.
Does anyone have any knowledge/experience with any of this? How likely will they change the schedule to allow him the extra time? My entire body says any more time with him is not beneficial to the boys. I know they love him, and I know they like going to his house, which I'm not discouraging, but for their overall health and mental wellness, I would prefer just one weeknight and every other weekend.
I also think it would be beneficial if I could get final decision making because everything is a battle with him. How likely would a judge make this decision based on emotional abuse?
Thank you!
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