How long does exclusive possession last?

[StuckinAB]

My husband brought forth an app to force sale the house and I in return asked for exclusive posession. I didnt work for our marriage so the SS calculated would be a little more than the mortgage and taxes combined. I cannot take over the mortgage though. We have 2 children under 2. How might this play out?

[iona6656]

Is it possible for you to move somewhere else? I don't say that lightly- I know how hard it is to move with babies/toddlers...but if the kids aren't settled in somewhere it might be easier in the long run. (speaking from experience- I moved with a 16 month old when I separated).

[StuckinAB]

My husband cant really afford the SS and CS for me to move. If the house were sold I would bring a mobilty applocation to move back close to my family. I meet all the criteria my lawyer says but it would take a while.

[iona6656]

How far would you need to move to be closer to the family? Once the house is sold- could you possibly get a lump sum of SS to offset moving costs? Is custody and access contested? Most importantly- does moving closer to your ss support system take the kids too far from their dad to allow for regular parenting time?

[StuckinAB]

It would be to another country....but that is the only I can become self sufficient as I would have free childcare for my kids. Staying here my salary would not cover childcare for 2 kids. Yes custody would be contested. He is opposed to me moving but he cannot afford to support 2 households here. He cannot afford any of this as my lawyer says but he is determined to sell the house. If I can stay in my home and he stay at his parents, I can stay here. Just wondering how long does exclusive possession last typically?

[StuckinAB]

Its actually cheaper for him ....to keep us in the house then to pay SS and CS ...also to see kids regularly.

[kate331]

If he is going to contest your moving, it could take awhile to make it through the court system. In the meantime could you not apply for subsidized daycare? I believe exclusive possession of the home, only lasts until the 2 of your decide to sell it mutually or a Judge decides.

[StuckinAB]

No I can't apply for anything free as our household income is too high.

[Janus]

My husband cant really afford the SS and CS for me to move. If the house were sold I would bring a mobilty applocation to move back close to my family. I meet all the criteria my lawyer says but it would take a while.

You would likely lose the entire value of the house. Mobility cases are insanely expensive, and if the lawyer is telling you that it is a slam dunk then that lawyer is lying to you. You can expect the father to fight the mobility application to the bitter end. There is no possible compromise on those things. It will go to trial. Many many many mothers with primary custody still lose the mobility application. Judges are not huge fans of separating kids from a parent, even relatively lower quality parents.

This is how it should play out: You sell the house, and use the money to pay rent for a while.

This is how it probably will play out: You will pay a huge retainer to the lawyer. Two years from now, after borrowing tens of thousands of dollars to continue topping up the retainer, you will sell the house, but now instead of having money, you will have nothing.

[Janus]

It would be to another country....but that is the only I can become self sufficient as I would have free childcare for my kids.

Daycare is a shared expense. You don't need free child care to get a job. You REALLY do not have to take the kid hundreds of miles away from his father to get a job.

1) Sell the house.
2) Get a job.

Anyhow, you won't listen. You think you are going to win, and you are hoping to starve him out with exclusive possession. He will lose all his money, but so you will you. Enjoy your house for now, your friendly lawyer is about to get it.

[StuckinAB]

I'm not seeking anything but to maintain stability for my kids. We dont have move much equity in the house..less than 2 years old. There is no retirement etc...If I move, I want to be only one time back to my country. I meet all criteria according to case law for mobility. It will cost around 20k but I will quickly make that back and spousal would be reduced quickly if I move.

[StuckinAB]

If I cannot cover childcare with my salary and he cannot even afford CS if it were ordered right now, how can I move out? The house won't sell in one month

[Berner_Faith]

No one ever thinks they can afford these things but somehow they do. Honestly please listen... if your lawyer is telling you that it will be easy for you to move find another lawyer. Mobility even out of the children’s town/city can cost over $20k... you’re talking about moving out of the country... your ex will fight it, it will cost you wayyy more than $20k.

Others will correct me but CS comes first, he will be ordered to pay that and unless there are viable reasons he should have 50-50 access which means his CS would be reduced. You can get a job and support yourself. Many, many parents do it. You’re kids are still very young so just do everything correctly now instead of spending the next 4-6 years of their life fighting in court.

I must ask... if you expect SS your ex must make a decent wage? Or what are you basing SS on? It is not as cut and dry as CS so be very careful relying on SS.

I would urge you to search the forum for mobility threads (there are some really good ones) and anything else that may be relevant to your case. The posters here are straight shooters and will save you thousands in legal fees if you take the time to do your own research


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[StuckinAB]

No one ever thinks they can afford these things but somehow they do. Honestly please listen... if your lawyer is telling you that it will be easy for you to move find another lawyer. Mobility even out of the children’s town/city can cost over $20k... you’re talking about moving out of the country... your ex will fight it, it will cost you wayyy more than $20k.

Others will correct me but CS comes first, he will be ordered to pay that and unless there are viable reasons he should have 50-50 access which means his CS would be reduced. You can get a job and support yourself. Many, many parents do it. You’re kids are still very young so just do everything correctly now instead of spending the next 4-6 years of their life fighting in court.

I must ask... if you expect SS your ex must make a decent wage? Or what are you basing SS on? It is not as cut and dry as CS so be very careful relying on SS.

I would urge you to search the forum for mobility threads (there are some really good ones) and anything else that may be relevant to your case. The posters here are straight shooters and will save you thousands in legal fees if you take the time to do your own research


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My lawyer didnt say it was easy. These is a case mobility case Gordon where there is criteria and I meet all 9 criteria. My lawyer put everything in divorcemate and that was the calculation. I quit my job to move here for the marriage and have children which was high income as well. SS alone would cover the mortgage . I'd rather use it to pay towards house then rent.

I didn't file for divorce..its all my husbands doing. We haven't started anything and the first motion he brings is to sell house, with no plan for me and kids.

We have talked lots about reconciling, so selling the house is premature. The mobility application will be further down the line once I'm sure there is no possibility for reconciliation.

[rockscan]

You need to search a number of things including cs, ss, mobility and custody.

Your lawyer is telling you what you want to hear and that simply ups his/her payments.

Dont be stupid. You need to look at it this way—you had a short term marriage, you have two young children, you are employable and you can’t afford the matrimonial home.

You CAN get a job, sell your house, share custody and get on with your life. There are more than likely houses (condos, townhomes, semi-detached etc) in your area that you can move to. You can share custody with dad and have him help with child care either physically or financially.

Give your head a shake and start thinking of how you can parent together in the area you are in. If you can’t do that then think about how you would handle him getting custody, moving away and paying you nothing.