Hello,
This is all new territory for me and i’m Not sure what steps I should be taking. Recently I found out that my husband of 35 years has been having an affair(she is 18 years younger than him). He is 65 and I will be 64 soon. We are both retired. Lately I think he has been rethinking his life — whether or not he has made good life decions, who he is, etc. Can we say midlife crisis?
At the beginning of August I told him to go live with her for a year and see if this is truly what he wants. I was hoping he would come back, but I now doubt it. We do not have a formal separation agreement. Should we? We had verbally agreed that he would continue to contribute to our household bills. He is buying groceries for her.
We have a joint account since we got married. Never any other. I can see all his spending. He buys more than groceries, such as alcohol (lots), things for her apartment like microwave, etc. That first month he spent over $2,000. I voiced my concerns and since then his spending for the most part has been reasonable.
About a week ago, he was not very nice and said that he will not discuss finances with me and that other than paying for half of the mortgage and house insurance, I am to pay everything else. No discussion. This is not what we had agreed on. He also said that he has always paid more than me towards bills because he made more money. For 35 years this was never an issue. I thought since we have always shared an account it didn’t matter that I made a bit less than he did. Am I wrong?
This is all new territory for me and i’m Not sure what steps I should be taking. Recently I found out that my husband of 35 years has been having an affair(she is 18 years younger than him). He is 65 and I will be 64 soon. We are both retired. Lately I think he has been rethinking his life — whether or not he has made good life decions, who he is, etc. Can we say midlife crisis?
At the beginning of August I told him to go live with her for a year and see if this is truly what he wants. I was hoping he would come back, but I now doubt it. We do not have a formal separation agreement. Should we? We had verbally agreed that he would continue to contribute to our household bills. He is buying groceries for her.
We have a joint account since we got married. Never any other. I can see all his spending. He buys more than groceries, such as alcohol (lots), things for her apartment like microwave, etc. That first month he spent over $2,000. I voiced my concerns and since then his spending for the most part has been reasonable.
About a week ago, he was not very nice and said that he will not discuss finances with me and that other than paying for half of the mortgage and house insurance, I am to pay everything else. No discussion. This is not what we had agreed on. He also said that he has always paid more than me towards bills because he made more money. For 35 years this was never an issue. I thought since we have always shared an account it didn’t matter that I made a bit less than he did. Am I wrong?
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