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  • I think it was me who suggested "ratting" the mother out, not LF32.

    Mother and others like her IMO, who behave as she has, are a scourge to society. As a taxpayer I am dismayed that able-bodied people get away with sitting on their butts. I feel absolutely no sympathy towards this woman.

    If mother is unwilling to provide for her child then she shouldn't have the responsibility of raising her child IMO. I believe one should be accountable for all of the decisions they make.

    Its getting close to the end of the line for this woman. I personally would like to see her "stressed out and without money" for a while. Let her go to the food bank to get the full experience.

    Woman is educated, bi-lingual and has plenty of work experience. She CHOOSES not to work. Should taxpayers be on the hook for her? I hardly think so.

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    • Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
      Why would you want Ex to lose her OW
      First I think we need to reword that.

      "LF32 .. why would you want your ex to work"?

      Answer: That's what most adults do, especially when kids are in school full time. (good role modelling, money, self-satisfaction, contributing financially, etc...so many reasons).

      Who do you think will also suffer? D4 will have to suffer another move when she loses her housing. Perhaps even change schools to Mom's new neighbourhood?
      So ex should stay on Welfare her whole life just so she can maintain in low income housing and other benefits? I disagree.

      Don't worry, D4 wont suffer .. she can live here in a stable environment if all that happens.

      You continue to amaze me. DONT WORK while your child is in school full time because its not good for the kid. WOW! lol

      Ex will be stressed out and lack money. Groceries could be a problem.
      Kind of like me for the past 2 years paying lawyers, CS, taking time off work for paperwork, etc? Groceries certainly were hard some weeks. But I'm a man....so doesn't count in your books right?

      Plus, who said I want my ex to be broke? I believe what the courts, Arabian, me and 99% of the ODF posters are saying is get a job. A job = money. So again.. not sure I understand your posts.

      Additionally, I would never let D4 go without in either residence.

      Forcing her hand through a disclosure to OW seems petty and spiteful. Just leave it alone. You never know what sort of consequences "reporting" her can have. I'd leave it alone.
      Not once have I ever said I was going to report anything. If you take issue with Arabian's suggestion then I suggest you take it up with her. My post was regarding EDP Vs. dropping at ex's .. nothing more. Please take the time to read my posts before type .. it will ake for a less confusing and more effective discussion.

      I am curious if this is yet another gender thing with you though.

      What would your honest opinion be if it were me on Welfare refusing to work while my ex worked full time and kid in school?

      I think I know...."Get a job LF32 .. be a man". Guaranteed.
      Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-31-2016, 03:37 PM.

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      • You actually missed my point.

        I think she should work. I really do.
        But I think trying to force the issue may cause more harm than good.
        Last edited by SadAndTired; 01-31-2016, 04:01 PM.

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        • Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
          You actually missed my point.

          I think she should work. I really do.

          I think trying to force the issue may cause more harm than good.
          Gotcha .. just know I'm not trying to force anything. But I also don't want to give her "reasons" not to try.

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          • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
            ...
            How many here would opt to use the EDP program (and pay)? Would that make for too long of a day for D4?...
            What does your order state for times, that the child is in your care, and for pickup/dropoff from school?

            I would definitely make use of the EDP program, even if it's going to hurt financially in the near term, because it will help avoid many of the issues you are going to run into, in the future, if you allow for dropoffs/pickups directly to your ex. (if possible, make sure to setup an arrangement where you pay EDP directly). Take this from a parent, who wishes, that our order specified pickup/dropoff from the school.

            If you do dropoffs/pickups at your ex's, your ex, will act like she's the primary parent. Your ex will try to control the flow of schoolwork/info, and play gatekeeper with this info. Your ex will unilaterally decide when to take child to school. Use the EDP.

            If anything, like others have mentioned, the "free" EDP at the school in your location, could possibly be something, that can be looked at as a positive, for any future school location decisions, especially if your cheque-collecting ex, doesn't seek any employment. But I would take the financial hit if possible, and use the EDP now.

            Believe me, your ex is not offering this as a "favour" to you.

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            • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
              None of what you write makes sense sorry.
              ...
              Very much agree on this.

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              • Reminds me of the old MasterCard commercial:

                Extended day care: $123 a month
                Not having to deal with ex: priceless

                Whether or not Mom goes back to work isn't relevant here. This programme will enable Dad to avoid more dropoffs/pickups, which will be a wonderful thing.

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                • Originally posted by stripes View Post
                  Reminds me of the old MasterCard commercial:

                  Extended day care: $123 a month
                  Not having to deal with ex: priceless

                  Whether or not Mom goes back to work isn't relevant here. This programme will enable Dad to avoid more dropoffs/pickups, which will be a wonderful thing.
                  Yes, I agree. She texted not long ago asking about this very topic. I let her know about my intentions of getting EDP for D4 for my exchange times.

                  This was her response:

                  "Okay .. if that's what you want to do, but while I'm home I don't mind doing it. It will keep money in your pocket that you can spend on other things for her I'm sure. Of course when I find a job we can figure things out but until then I really don't mind".

                  I just have to inform her in a respectful manner that EDP is my choice.

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                  • Just respond that. Thank you for the consideration but I would prefer to have d4 in a set schedule for her time with me which will lessen the transition when you start working. Should I have any issues I will definitely include you in scheduling as necessary.

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                    • I'll have to prepare for the "You just want to lessen time that D4 is with me", and "you'd rather pay money than D4 be with me".
                      This is where I have to watch my words .. things are going good and I'd hate to have that spoiled. The "lessening the transition when she starts working" is a good idea Rock.

                      Not only that, I want to be part of the "school" experience too, and get D4 used to seeing me there.

                      Probably the biggest reason is to lessen time ex and I see each other.

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                      • If you respond to that (no response is needed IMHO) you say you are simply following the court order and you make your decisions for your time. You don't question her decisions, she shouldn't question yours. Period.

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                        • Actually, rereading her text, no response is needed. Sign d4 up and leave it. If she presses you tell her thank you but the decision is made and you wont be discussing further.

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                          • I wouldn't respond. She wants to debate. Don't give her the opening.

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                            • I also wouldn't respond. Her response doesn't seem to invite debate and didn't seem hostile.

                              Just remember, if ex does get a job down the road and needs to use the service herself at a time when you could have picked up D4, it works both ways.

                              For what it's worth, I think it's better also to have fewer transitions.

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                              • PeacefulMoments - his ex is a manipulator. I find her response to be typical of her ... squaks him on how to best spend his money.

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