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Would i Have to Pay Spousal Support?

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  • Would i Have to Pay Spousal Support?

    i've been contemplating divorcing my wife of just over 9 yrs. Over the past couple of years I've threatened to do it during heated arguments.

    Financially, our situation is that i'm the only one working. She had left her job about 7 years ago to deal with her anxiety & depression... of course she hasn't been seeing a therapist at all (she refuses) and hasn't actually been diagnosed with either except a note from her family doctor. At this point I think she's capable of returning to work (has been capable to many years now) but she has no desire to do it. She just stays at home and watches TV all day.... wakes up mid-afternoon and goes to bed anytime between 3 & 6 in the morning.... oh what a life.... (not very fulfilling though). I've asked her for both of us to see a marriage/relationship therapist but she (again) refuses to go.. although she said i could go...

    No kids, although i wanted to have early on in the relationship... thankfully i didn't.

    If we were to get divorced she would most likely go back to living with here parents and i would go find some place to rent in the short term.

    We're both university educated. I work in the field i studied; she doesn't want to work in the field she studied... too emotionally stressful of a career. But if she was to work she'd probably only make 20-30K. I make about 60K.

    Any idea how spousal support would work for a situation like this? I'm just preparing myself.

  • #2
    You have indeed established a pattern for the status quo I am afraid.
    IE you have by allowing this to continue, agreed to it as acceptable.

    However, given that she is "capable" of gainful employment with an education to sustain it, and has demonstrated the same, void an actual diagnosis of any emotional/physical disability hindering her from returning to work, there is a possibility that SS would be granted on an interim bases to allow her time to re-establish herself in the workforce, IE to become self supportive. You may also ask that the courts input an income to her for the purpose of calculating the SS amount for the above reasons and this could eliminate a SS obligation or at the least it would reduce it. But I would most certainly insist on an inputting income and if SS is ordered that there be a time limit.

    Proving she is intentionally unemployed will be hard to do as this is a he-said-she-said situation.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by FL_Needs_To_Change View Post
      You have indeed established a pattern for the status quo I am afraid.
      IE you have by allowing this to continue, agreed to it as acceptable.
      I realize that i've let it drag on too long. In the beginning I agreed that she should take some time off to deal with her issues, but it took a couple years for her to accept the fact that it was her anxiety that was causing heart palpitation and not that she's having a heart attack. After that realization things got easier for her.. no hospital visits for the past couple of years.

      What really gets me is that she said she doesn't mind me working longer into my retirement years (because i'm capable) so that she doesn't have to work.... and having to pay SS to support that attitude just drives me nuts. The funny thing is that when we had a 'discussion' about divorce, she said she'd find a job if we did get divorced.... but she doesn't want to work when she's married.... is it just me or does someone else see something wrong with that thinking?!

      One more thing to add: she's not really a spender and she's be living with parents so her expenses would be next to nil. All SS (if any) would most likely just go into savings. Her brother lives with parents and he doesn't pay any rent, so she probably would have to either, unless her or her parents want her to pay so she could get more SS. Does that at all affect SS payments?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by unlucky View Post
        What really gets me is that she said she doesn't mind me working longer into my retirement years (because i'm capable) so that she doesn't have to work.... and having to pay SS to support that attitude just drives me nuts. The funny thing is that when we had a 'discussion' about divorce, she said she'd find a job if we did get divorced.... but she doesn't want to work when she's married.... is it just me or does someone else see something wrong with that thinking?!
        Yes this is a strange statement indeed.
        It seems she is up front telling you that she's using you.

        SS would be based on the means of the payer, and the need of the recipient.
        Also the length of the relationship, and the receivers ability to be self supportive. Any assets would split as well as and CPP etc.

        If she lived with her parents rent/expense free you'd have to show that for the calculations to include this as well, if she has an education but chooses not to work, then you could request that the courts input an income to her relative to what she is capable of earning, that would greatly reduce the SS amount as well. If it was even granted. I would think with the right mind set or lawyer you could show she is capable and just does not want to work.
        And that living free off her parents similar to her siblings means she has very little need if any. It's a big game of standard of living relative to what was lost as a result of the marriage or subsequent divorce

        So it's a tough call when dealing with SS.

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        • #5
          thanks for your input FL_Needs_To_Change.

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          • #6
            You don't say how old she is. If you were only M 9 years then you would only be expected to pay for 3 or 4 years to support her while she retrains for another occupation. If she thinks she is getting it until retirement age, she's dreaming. The only marriages that that happens in are those long term marriages of 30 years or more.

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