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Janibel · #11 08-27-2014, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Once.is.enough

So what your saing is if you want to make point make sure your point is a point that hasn't been pointed before? I think my point may have been pointed to previously in someone else's point. I'm so confused by this pointed discussion.

Please pass the popcorn....

I can't believe it, but for once I have to agree with Once.is.enough.

Often in forums as in live conversations, the topic will get side-tracked. Happens all the time, especially on the Internet where so many different people can participate. It's easy enough in person to be misunderstood ....

Bottom line: if certain opinions seem unfair, off-topic or don't apply to your particular reality - simply ignore them.

HammerDad · #12 08-27-2014, 12:52 PM

I don't think so. Many threads quickly balloon and I don't have the time to read everything. When threads get like that, I generally skim over the posts to get the jist of it, and maybe make a response.

There are threads here that have simply grown out of control. There are too many issues within the single thread to really make it useful. I understand how things are intertwined, but to have 100 page thread is ultimately useless to anyone outside of the major contributors. It would make more sense, and be substantially more useful, if a new thread was made for the various points in question. If background is needed, you can always post the link to the thread with that information.

There are threads here that I don't bother contributing to as they are too big. And if I wanted to contribute, there is likely information I would miss so I rarely bother. I glance them over as part of my job as a mod to make sure things stay civil. But I don't have hours in a day to read those threads carefully, nor the time respond to 15 different posts within the period of time I have to be on this board.

More threads with limited scope is better than one all inclusive thread. You will get more replies from more people as people will actually take the time to read it vs seeing the size and saying "ain't nobody got time for that!"

Straittohell · #13 08-27-2014, 01:19 PM

So true, HammerDad, so true. Your approach of not bothering with the long threads makes a lot of sense.

I think it just makes sense for someone to follow your lead and simply not comment on a thread that they consider too voluminous. For those that do want to comment, they should at least be familiar with some of the essential info that was included in the original post driving the thread.

LovingFather32 · #14 08-27-2014, 01:26 PM

I also agree with Hammerdad .. just don't bother if it's devastatingly long and you don't have all of the facts nor the time in the day to acquire them.

Again, a huge catalyst to lengthy threads are the needs to re-explain the entire situation to keep a new poster (non followers) up to date. This is what makes them lengthy most of the time .. repetition. I wouldn't write a review or comment on a book if I haven't read it. to me that wouldn't seem logical. That's just me though.

HammerDad · #15 08-27-2014, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingFather32

I also agree with Hammerdad ..

Again, a huge catalyst to lengthy threads are the needs to re-explain the entire situation to keep a new poster (non followers) up to date. This is what makes them lengthy most of the time .. repetition. I wouldn't write a review or comment on a book if I haven't read it. to me that wouldn't seem logical. That's just me though.

Easiest solution to that is to copy the link to the post with information. It saves you time from repeating yourself and it keeps your story straight as slight wording changes between the posts may cause more questions that necessary.

LovingFather32 · #16 08-27-2014, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HammerDad

Easiest solution to that is to copy the link to the post with information. It saves you time from repeating yourself and it keeps your story straight as slight wording changes between the posts may cause more questions that necessary.

Very true. I should have done that all along. Good advice!!

Straittohell · #17 08-27-2014, 01:56 PM

LOL - You'll still get people saying:

"I saw that link you posted to the thread that explains your situation, but I didn't have time to read it, so here's what I have to say: Why didn't you just specifically ask your ex to not take your child away, in advance of her doing it? Then, she would have clearly not done it, and you wouldn't be in this mes. Oh, and I'm not sure if you have done so or not already, because I haven't read the whole thread, but I suggest you get a lawyer to help with your case, and seek immediate counselling. Oh, and you really should ask for more than 3 hours of access. Only having that much time can really hurt you when it comes to a final decision."

HammerDad · #18 08-27-2014, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Straittohell

LOL - You'll still get people saying:

"I saw that link you posted to the thread that explains your situation, but I didn't have time to read it, so here's what I have to say: Why didn't you just specifically ask your ex to not take your child away, in advance of her doing it? Then, she would have clearly not done it, and you wouldn't be in this mes. Oh, and I'm not sure if you have done so or not already, because I haven't read the whole thread, but I suggest you get a lawyer to help with your case, and seek immediate counselling. Oh, and you really should ask for more than 3 hours of access. Only having that much time can really hurt you when it comes to a final decision."

While I know you are certainly being sarcastic, I don't think anyone would suggest this.

The biggest issue most who come here have is that they didn't do something instantly. The time for action is when the instance happens (ie. ex leaves the matrimonial home with the child). Some may argue against an emergency motion, but in general it is better to do it and possibly fail then to do nothing and let yourself be controlled by the ex and their imposed schedule.

Straittohell · #19 08-27-2014, 02:53 PM

HammerDad, I've paraphrased pretty much all of that stuff, based on what has shown up on LF32s threads.

A few people have suggested that since it wasn't appropriate for the ex to do what she is doing, that she should simply be told to stop, and surely, she will. They also make sweeping statements like "surely you must have known something like this was coming, there is no way that someone would mislead you into thinking everything was fine and then just leave without notice."

I'm not kidding. That is partly what inspired me to start this thread. Poor LF32 has painstakingly explain on numerous occasions how everything went down, and yet, there are still people making statements demonstrating complete ignorance of what has been happening to him. That's pretty much what was behind my vent.

LovingFather32 · #20 08-27-2014, 03:07 PM

I went to police next day to file missing persons

Got lawyer not too long after who tracked down her lawyer and served application

Went for emergency motion

I didnt wait for much.

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