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Having friend stay with kid while you're away - WWYD?

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  • Having friend stay with kid while you're away - WWYD?

    Hello, hoping for some input here:

    1. 50/50 alternating week residence with Kid (10 years old).
    2. Have to go to a workshop which will involve being away for five nights. Workshop is during my week with Kid.
    3. No family in the area but lots of friends.
    4. Considering asking adult daughter of friends (she's 26 and babysits for Kid a lot) if she would consider staying with Kid for those 5 nights. I'd pay her as well as cover all expenses (pizza, movies, whatever). Friend's daughter is very responsible, gets along very well with Kid.

    My question: What would be an appropriate rate of pay for friend's daughter? I'm thinking $50/day (plus expenses), but as I've never negotiated this before, don't know if this is too high, too low, or just right.

    Before anyone asks:

    1. There's no right of first refusal in my order.
    2. In the past, when I've asked ex about switching weeks because I had to travel, he's agreed to do so and then at the last minute changed his mind, which has cost me money and professional embarrassment. That's why I'm not going to ask him this time. Fool me once ...
    3. Yes, I do accommodate his requests for schedule changes but I don't trust him to honor his agreements to accommodate me.
    4. All of the above is a way of saying I am not trying to deny Kid extra time with her father - he's just not reliable enough.

    Thoughts?

  • #2
    If I were you I would ask your ex anyways, tell him you have a babysitter lined up in any case because on occasion x, y and z he bailed (mentionning the specific dates is key) and ask him to confirm by date Z and that if he "flakes" you will never ask him again (the ultimatum is important too).

    I am sure my ex could have said the same stuff about me when she left kids with her mom and brother instead of me.

    Considering you have week-on / week-off your ex must be a somewhat reliable person (even if you don't think so). Its not like he is smoking crack in the corner.

    For payment:
    Well, I would say pay her 3PM - Bedtime: minimum wage + 1 hour in the morning + expenses.

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    • #3
      Maybe check out rates for places that offer overnight care and see what the going rate is and meet somewhere in the middle? There are daycares that offer overnights for people who work nights or shift hours.

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      • #4
        Not sure but thinking maybe a bit low unless the good friend aspect is in play. She would be responsible 24/7 in case of any school issue like sickness or injury.

        As far as your ex, you should be OK since there is no rofr. Just make sure the sitter can contact him in case of a real emergency that requires a parent.

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        • #5
          Just checked with several overnight daycare services as well as online, and it looks like the going rate is around $75/night (more for professional nanny), so that's what I'll offer (plus expenses). Of course I'll make sure ex knows I'm out of town and that both he and friend have each other's contact details, emergency info, etc. Thanks for the input.

          Comment

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