sole custody and the rights

[crispy]

Hey everyone, I haven't been on here in a while, but things went bad for me. I had a bad lawyer that didn't defend me, and I lost interim shared custody from accusations made towards me that were total lies. Needless to say, my ex now has interim sole custody. What my question for the forum is, how is a good way to go about making a schedule? It's only been a couple weeks and she's already tried to muck with the order. The order states that I am to have my kids every second week for 4days and 3 nights. With my work schedule this means that I get them every 9 days. The other question is, what rights exactly do I have and what rights does she have. I've gotten different answers, so I came here for clarification. In September, my oldest is going to be starting school, is my access going to change, am I going to be pushed to only weekends when I am a shift worker? And any tips or advice as to planning vacation and holiday time? My ex stated to me that she has the power now and can basically tell me how high to jump and that since I live at my parents house, she's not going to tell me anything about my kids until I move out. The thought has been discussed in my family to walk away from everything, still pay child support, but to totally put the ball in her court. It seems that she enjoys the conflict and the more I fight to be with my kids, the more it's taken out on my kids from their side of the family; brainwashing, etc.
I just had a huge concern about my oldest daughter. She told me that her mom has a bad temper and broke the phone from throwing it. One of the nights, she put herself to bed stating that if she went to sleep she would be better. I told her that she wasn't being bad or anything and to come back out and play with me. She was very upset. We started talking and she told me that her mom had hit her in the face and when she pointed to where she was hit, was exactly the spot there was a small bruise. This is the only time that anything has happened to my knowledge, but my daughter was very upset. I am at a loss for what to do. I documented everything that happened, what I'm at a loss for what to do is in regards to CAS. Would they act on one isolated incident, considering my daughter is 3 or would I have to have a history of incidents? I've realized that the courts, at least in my hometown, favor the mother incredibly, unless she is blatantly a bad mother.

[logicalvelocity]

crispy,

Sorry to hear how things went for you.

I lost interim shared custody from accusations made towards me that were total lies. Needless to say, my ex now has interim sole custody.

If it was me, I would move the matter to trial as soon as possible. Status quo is everything. The longer the interim order is in effect, is a definite cue to the court that this regime for the children should not be interrupted regardless if the other party was untruthful. Its no secret that perjury runs rampant in family court and for the most part goes unpunished. However there is always a bright side. See this case where interim sole custody was ordered on exparte motion and continued until the court had the opportunity to entertain a trial. In the result, the court awarded Joint Custody as a means to keep the father involved in the life of the child.

Z.(A.) v. W.(J.), 2004 ONCJ 157 (CanLII)

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/oncj/doc...04oncj157.html

It's only been a couple weeks and she's already tried to muck with the order. The order states that I am to have my kids every second week for 4days and 3 nights. With my work schedule this means that I get them every 9 days.

Follow the order to its terms. If they want to vary, they have ample opportunity to bring forth action top vary. The more the order is messed with, it becomes more difficult to enforce. If they breach the order, bring forth contempt action or an order to vary the interim regime.

The other question is, what rights exactly do I have and what rights does she have. I've gotten different answers, so I came here for clarification.

I'm not clear what you are asking. The default of the law provides that both parents have an identical right to information bearing on the health, welfare and education of the children.

In September, my oldest is going to be starting school, is my access going to change, am I going to be pushed to only weekends when I am a shift worker? And any tips or advice as to planning vacation and holiday time? My ex stated to me that she has the power now and can basically tell me how high to jump and that since I live at my parents house, she's not going to tell me anything about my kids until I move out.

Difficult to answer without knowing facts. However, a parent centered on the wellness of the children would not withhold or impede information to the other parent pertaining to the child. If they did, in essence they are breaking the law. Document the other parents threat for now and frame this conduct at trial.

I just had a huge concern about my oldest daughter. She told me that her mom has a bad temper and broke the phone from throwing it. One of the nights, she put herself to bed stating that if she went to sleep she would be better. I told her that she wasn't being bad or anything and to come back out and play with me. She was very upset. We started talking and she told me that her mom had hit her in the face and when she pointed to where she was hit, was exactly the spot there was a small bruise. This is the only time that anything has happened to my knowledge, but my daughter was very upset. I am at a loss for what to do. I documented everything that happened, what I'm at a loss for what to do is in regards to CAS. Would they act on one isolated incident, considering my daughter is 3 or would I have to have a history of incidents? I've realized that the courts, at least in my hometown, favor the mother incredibly, unless she is blatantly a bad mother.

It appears to be that this other parent could use some anger management training.

Read the above case and plan your legal strategy with your lawyer. I think you may have to move the matter at trial to give the court the opportunity to weigh all the evidence and facts and observe the demeanor of the parties and assess credibility.

lv