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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 05-26-2019, 03:21 PM
lorely lorely is offline
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Default Not sticking with temporary parenting plan

So my STBE started to play around the temporary parenting plan, last Sunday he texted me that he is bringing the kids early (5 hours early), when I asked him what happened he said he is "very, very sick", apparently he walked the kids to my home, I was not at home. When I reached home and said ok, he drove them but he wouldnt come close he dropped them off across street. Yesterday he dropped them off 20 min late, same scenario, dropped them off and run. He did not text nor email me that he will be late, when I twxted him that he is late he didnt even answer to my text. What can I do with this? My concern is that he has history of alcohol abuse and him being "very,very sick" is when he is drunk/hangover.
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  #2  
Old 05-26-2019, 04:20 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Are you suspecting him of driving the children while intoxicated? If so, call the police. If the children are old enough, instruct them to refuse to get in the car if they feel unsafe. Keep documenting, maybe offer to go pick the kids up so that he is forced to answer the door and you can judge if he is drunk and you can keep the kids safe. Looking after the children/driving while drunk is a concern to bring to CAS attention.
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Old 06-09-2019, 09:07 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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sit tight and document. be alert but don't draw conclusions yet. it may be a one off thing. if it continues for let's say 3 months then obviously something is going on.

he's not exposing the child to any harm if he's bringing them to you when he can't look after them.

you should be able to by just observing him tell if he's drunk and make anonymous call to police.

I always expect my ex to be up to 30 minutes late.

Last edited by tunnelight; 06-09-2019 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 06-11-2019, 06:47 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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Talking

Thank you!
What if he leaves the children alone? I saw him parking in front of Beer Store and he walked to convenience store, he smokes. I called the kids right away and they did not know where he is, they thought he is on the deck.
My concern is that this is what he did in the past when I was working, he was going o chiropractor or massage therapist appointment and he would just leave them alone. Every time I talk to him now e is complaining that he has no time because he has to cook for the kids
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  #5  
Old 06-11-2019, 08:25 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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How old are the kids?
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  #6  
Old 06-11-2019, 09:14 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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They are 11 and 9 years old.
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Old 06-11-2019, 11:08 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Do they have their own cell phones? I think the advice given in this thread is good. If you suspect he's drunk when driving with the kids- call the police. Tell them not to get in the car if they don't feel someone is safe. If they feel like dad isn't okay- it's totally fine to give you a call to pick them up. A 11 year old and a 9 year old shouldn't have ot take care of themselves if dad is drunk.

That being said- I agree with tunnelight that I don't think you have enough to draw those conclusions yet. And I'd be doubly careful on the messaging to the kids.
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Old 06-11-2019, 11:11 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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They don't have a cell phone. I gave a cell phone to my son while he is under his care but my ex is turning it off and puts it away once they reach the home. I asked him about the reason and he said I should ask my son. When I asked my son he stated that the dad turned it off and put it on the dining table.
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Old 06-11-2019, 11:14 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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An 11 year old can be hired as a babysitter, so they can certainly babysit a 9 year old sibling - unless there are safety concerns like the children’s have a history of setting fires.

If he is complaining about having to look after the kids/felling tired etc off to pick the kids up early and document everything. Eventually the new status quo will be him not seeing the kids as much. It sucks for the kids, but if he doesn’t want to parent there is nothing you can do about it. The kids will figure out fast who is the reliable parent.
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  #10  
Old 06-11-2019, 11:16 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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As far as I know the kids can babysit if they are 13 years old.
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