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  • #31
    Originally posted by NBDad View Post
    Its a standard tactic, but if you argue it correctly it should not increase.

    If the child is over 18 and takes a year off, they should be working and paying their own way.

    Spousal and cs are separate entities. Whether or not the child returns to school should have no bearing on spousal.

    Simple indicate for cs that it'll be paid as long as the child meets the requirements to be a "child of the marriage".

    Tell her to pound sand on spousal.
    Is what we said in my response at the beginning of all this NBDad...no spousal at all...again I guess we'll see what the cc determines.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Exquizique View Post
      Don't know the complete details of your situation, but based on what i've read here so far:

      I don't think she has a strong case for SS. If i were you, I would stick to my guns on offering NO SS until she proves entitlement. I don't know her age, but if she's in her 30s to 40s, that's still considered "young" enough to have quite a few good working years ahead of her. She has a job. She's worked throughout the entire relationship. She doesn't pay any rent or mortgage because she lives in her father's place. The daughter will be graduating HS and from the sound of it will cease to be a "child of the marriage" until some kind of plans for post-secondary education are settled on. It would be completely different if she did not work throughout the relationship and is still caring for young children. I really don't see strong entitlement (if any at all) to SS on her end.

      If CS is slated to end in June, you may want to concede a bit and offer full table CS that will terminate once the daughter graduates from HS. Thereafter, say that you will consider contributing to S7 expenses in the form of post-secondary education costs for the daughter AFTER the mother's, the bio-dad's and the daughter's contributions are factored in, and ONLY IF full proof of enrollment for a full course load is provided, proof of passing grades is provided periodically, and the daughter discusses her post-secondary plans with you to show that she does indeed have some kind of concrete career plan that post-secondary education would support.

      That would be a fair offer.

      Enquizique...what's your hourly rate??...thats prety impressive...makes alot of sense really!!

      Thanks for that!!...something I'm definetly going to pass on to the lawyer!!

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      • #33
        An ex's lawyer will put all sorts of crazy things in an offer to settle, things that are blatantly unfair or make no sense. The tactic is to scare or bluff you into accepting them.

        Stick to your guns.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Rioe View Post
          An ex's lawyer will put all sorts of crazy things in an offer to settle, things that are blatantly unfair or make no sense. The tactic is to scare or bluff you into accepting them.

          Stick to your guns.

          I imagine you're right..she was a brutal older lady that could hardly hear to be honest..was having difficulties getting up and down the stairs to the meeting room during the 4-way.

          I meet with my lawyer again on the 8th before going to the cc on the 11th...I'll put forth some of the ideas I've gotten off this thread for sure.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Rioe View Post
            An ex's lawyer will put all sorts of crazy things in an offer to settle, things that are blatantly unfair or make no sense. The tactic is to scare or bluff you into accepting them.

            Stick to your guns.

            Like I mentioned...during the 4-way they were going for unlimited SS (part of the reason the 4 way came to such an abrupt stop was because my lawyer and I totally disagreed with any SS)...a week later, they faxed the OTS to my lawyer stating FULL $$ SS (based off divorcemate guidelines) but for a limited amount of years.

            again I'm hoping the CC will shed some more light on the whole situation and give me more of an idea as to what the stbx may be entitled too..

            either way, it'll bring the STBX and her lawyer down to a more decent level of understanding where we can actually work on an agreement.

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            • #36
              Good luck with your CC! Let us know how it goes down.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Exquizique View Post
                Good luck with your CC! Let us know how it goes down.

                I will Exquizique...

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                • #38
                  Yeah man, def keep us all posted. I'd be very interested in how all this pans out for you.

                  You have around a 99% chance of settling before trial statistically speaking. One or both of you will likely make compromises down the line.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                    Yeah man, def keep us all posted. I'd be very interested in how all this pans out for you.

                    You have around a 99% chance of settling before trial statistically speaking. One or both of you will likely make compromises down the line.

                    I'm hoping it turns out for the better (on my end), NBDad...thanks man.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Leviathan View Post
                      I imagine you're right..she was a brutal older lady that could hardly hear to be honest..was having difficulties getting up and down the stairs to the meeting room during the 4-way.

                      I meet with my lawyer again on the 8th before going to the cc on the 11th...I'll put forth some of the ideas I've gotten off this thread for sure.
                      Probably one of those hidebound, traditional lawers who believe that the man should pay the woman no matter what because that's how it should be. Blech. Make sure your own lawyer is not of that view, and cross your fingers you don't get a judge like that.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                        Probably one of those hidebound, traditional lawers who believe that the man should pay the woman no matter what because that's how it should be. Blech. Make sure your own lawyer is not of that view, and cross your fingers you don't get a judge like that.
                        Absolutely (the stbx's lawyer being a hidebound)..to be honest, and it was pretty apparent to me during the 4-way, she's not up to speed on the newer recent family law changes.

                        as I stated earlier, when my lawyer and her lawyer were discussing SS and CS, the stbx's lawyer stated in the 21 years she's been doing family law, she's never had to rely on the support calculater or divorce mate!!

                        now, whether she was bluffing or serious, I'm not sure but I can totally see that being true just by her demeanour.

                        she used to work for a bigger firm in ottawa (not sure if she still does) but she branched out to a little town just south of ottawa and trust me, shes adapted to the whole "small town" mentality!!

                        only thing missing during the 4-way was her chewing on a piece of straw and yelling "yeehaawww!!" a few times!!

                        as for my lawyer, and as much as everyone might think I made a mistake here, I chose a female lawyer to represent me. I did a little research, met and spoke with a few different lawyers before deciding to hire her.

                        not that it means much but see below:

                        she received her honours bachelor's degree in Social Sciences from the University of Ottawa, which she graduated magna cum laude. She also attended law school at the University of Ottawa, where she focused her course interests on torts, criminal law, and dispute resolution.

                        she was impressive enough during our 1st initial consultatation to be honest.

                        Comment

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