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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #51  
Old 12-11-2020, 08:41 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
She may be entitled to SS but that doesnt mean she gets to keep a house or quit a well paying job. No one cares if you cant afford to buy. No one cares if your new bf cant afford his own life. Thats not how SS works


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Not to mention the people who stumble on this thread in the future and see this and say see, she said the same thing I am. Anyone looking for info in the future needs to see that others said this wont fly in court.


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  #52  
Old 12-11-2020, 09:37 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Is it better to have the house a few more years or all the support money in hand? What is your goal here? .
She has already said that she would not get approved for a mortgage on her own. Her ex wants his name off of the title of the house so that he can move on with his life, get a new mortgage for a new house, etc. No judge would ever force an ex-husband to stay on title of the house his ex is living in, if he wants to sever ties with his ex. Its either she finds a way to get approved for the mortgage on her own, or she moves. Period.
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  #53  
Old 12-11-2020, 10:01 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith

She may be entitled to SS but that doesn�t mean she gets to keep a house or quit a well paying job. No one cares if you can�t afford to buy. No one cares if your new bf can�t afford his own life. That�s not how SS works

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Not to mention the people who stumble on this thread in the future and see this and say �see, she said the same thing I am�. Anyone looking for info in the future needs to see that others said this won�t fly in court.
Don't get side tracked in what's irrelevant. Income will be imputed, the house will get sold at some point, and equalizing/support will be paid. OP has done nothing wrong yet.

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No judge would ever force an ex-husband to stay on title of the house his ex is living in, if he wants to sever ties with his ex. Its either she finds a way to get approved for the mortgage on her own, or she moves. Period.
The matrimonial home is different in that regardless of title/lease/rent, either spouse can remain in the house until court ordered. There are many reasons exclusive possession is provided. It's still ex's asset, OP will still get valuation date value, but without all the details a lawyer is needed to know if/how long OP can stay.

Is the goal to fight to continue to receive spousal via expenses paid, or get the money directly.
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  #54  
Old 12-11-2020, 10:21 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Don't get side tracked in what's irrelevant. Income will be imputed, the house will get sold at some point, and equalizing/support will be paid. OP has done nothing wrong yet.



The matrimonial home is different in that regardless of title/lease/rent, either spouse can remain in the house until court ordered. There are many reasons exclusive possession is provided. It's still ex's asset, OP will still get valuation date value, but without all the details a lawyer is needed to know if/how long OP can stay.

Is the goal to fight to continue to receive spousal via expenses paid, or get the money directly.

The ex will have proof of the four years of letters seeking the sale of the house.


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  #55  
Old 12-12-2020, 12:06 AM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
The ex will have proof of the four years of letters seeking the sale of the house.
Indeed. But meaning what exactly. Is he avoiding court, hiding income, waiting for limitation periods, avoiding arrears, avoiding paying more, etc? Based on what was said it sounds like he's getting a discount right now.
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  #56  
Old 12-12-2020, 10:18 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Indeed. But meaning what exactly. Is he avoiding court, hiding income, waiting for limitation periods, avoiding arrears, avoiding paying more, etc? Based on what was said it sounds like he's getting a discount right now.

I doubt he is getting a discount. She is probably guestimating on his income. Plus on a short marriage and her working full time I doubt spousal is as high or as long. More than likely he was told he would be obligated to pay five years spousal and it is coming up to the deadline and he knows how long court takes.

On a 2.5 million house in Toronto with kids in private school and excess expenses he was probably either paying the right amount or more.


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  #57  
Old 12-12-2020, 01:58 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I doubt ......She is probably ........ I doubt........More than likely ....... probably ...........
This thread was written for dramatics. Ignore the fluff and stick to what's relevant.

It's a medium marriage and he's paying support on the low end based on needs.
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  #58  
Old 12-12-2020, 03:15 PM
PeacefulMoments PeacefulMoments is offline
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I don’t think it is realistic for the OP to expect to have the same luxury lifestyle as pre-divorce. Honestly she is sounding rather entitled. Many people including myself are existing on much much less and in not very ideal circumstances. I myself am going in debt monthly just to buy my meds and pay my debt, and I even had to give up my apartment and move in with a friend as my medical conditions at this time as well as the pandemic don’t make it reasonable for me to try and work again just yet.

OP, even if you cannot afford a home in such an expensive neighbourhood, it sounds like you could easily rent. My suggestion is to allow the house sale, settle up equalization and support, and move on with your life for both your sake and your children’s.
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  #59  
Old 12-13-2020, 03:30 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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pinkHouses has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default avoid the mess

The OP is going to put everyone through a rough ride with their self-entitled beliefs.
What a curse!

Like most cases their best goal would be to avoid a fight that drains time, emotions and finances.

The ex makes a lot and could be very generous in helping resolve this issue.

-Ask them to make several offers/options in good faith and keep good faith by being fair and reasonable on its reception. Let each other know you don't want an ugly legal fight, no one "wins" in that scenario. The first offer is important and could set the tone.

-Give them a general idea of what you want in the offers, even say that you hope to keep the house if you like and explain the financial hurdle. Be ready to accept that you have to move, but you might get lucky.

-Asking for custody and access beyond 50/50 is asking for trouble but you can ask them what they would like to do differently.

-Get an arbitration on children's issues clause in there...it will save you both.

-Ask that they pay for a lawyer to review the offer on your behalf, you are not entitled to this. Chose wisely, avoid a litigious one. You can always change later if you chose to spend gobs of money on a fight; their war chest is bigger than yours and really trials are for the treacherous.

-Do you own research too. Don't fall for the devil whispering in your ear "but you can get more", most lawyers LOVE to fight almost as much as they love your money. They are excellent manipulators. Try 2 if you like.

-Mediate/directly negotiate after the consultation to get all the little things settled up and have lawyers finalize it. Collaborative law? Again avoid lawyers for this easy stuff. Do you really care who gets the kids on Easter or that they want them signed up for hockey every year?

-Wrap it up and move on for the sake of yourself, the ex and your kids. If not expect this to go on for about 4 years and beyond.

The costs of assessing the business could be huge. Hope ex has a good heart and the OP should find one themselves one, right now they sound poisoned.

remember "to settle" means to compromise if you both feel like you didn't get the best deal that is normal.
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  #60  
Old 12-13-2020, 04:05 PM
seeker101 seeker101 is offline
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I'm just amazed at the level of honesty that OP shows in expressing her true goals and beliefs. My experience has been that people incl. my ex try to act all virtuous and righteous but their actions do not reflect that. Here we have the OP who is openly admitting all these self-centric, self-entitled things and says I have no shame in wanting these things... wow!
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