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  • can i get into trouble?

    after 6 years 4 months of him being gone, i cleaned all of his stuff (tools and junk) out of the shed to reclaim the space. i put all of his stuff in his old falling apart boat and put a tarp over everything. i emailed him and let him know(in a polite and friendly way) what i was doing and that he should let me know when he wants to come a pick things up. that was 2 weeks ago. in another 2 weeks, if i don't hear from him, i plan to send another email giving him a deadline. is all of this within my rights? we have no divorce or formal separation agreement.

  • #2
    Originally posted by liveandlearn
    after 6 years 4 months of him being gone, i cleaned all of his stuff (tools and junk) out of the shed to reclaim the space. i put all of his stuff in his old falling apart boat and put a tarp over everything. i emailed him and let him know(in a polite and friendly way) what i was doing and that he should let me know when he wants to come a pick things up. that was 2 weeks ago. in another 2 weeks, if i don't hear from him, i plan to send another email giving him a deadline. is all of this within my rights? we have no divorce or formal separation agreement.
    Personally I think you should first make sure he read the email, (AND HAVE PHYSICAL PROOF), as email in this day and age are so quickly utilized people forget just because you hit the send does not mean the other party has received it. I personally would use a registered letter. Give a deadline in the letter, as this has been in limbo for more than 4 years. I'd offer a couple of months, seems long, but if you have the junk out of the garage, you can use it in the interum, and this give ample time to A) respond with a possible solution and B) gives you piece of mind you did the right thing in offering him time to sort his affairs in the eyes of the court. Registered gives you a signature so you'd have a record should he try to come after you later if he didn't take your offer to collect his things in a decent time frame. Better safe than sorry I always say. This can be a messy system and we all know that too well.

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    • #3
      liveandlearn,


      I echo what FL has suggested in lieu of the email or regular mail. send by registered mail or courier.

      lv

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      • #4
        good advice. thanks. i really don't want to be adversarial. just trying to jump start some communication or movement in the right direction and i really do need the space.

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        • #5
          liveandlearn

          are you aware that on the date at year 7 you can file for divorce in absentia.......that means for 100$ you can be divorced without hhis signature or knowledge....do you own the residence......after you send him registered letter and have proof of receipt from the post office let the date given pass then call a junk yard to remove his stuff.....I wouldnt have kept his stuff that long.......

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          • #6
            thankyou so much for that info! where do i learn more about this $100. 7 year divorce? would i deal with my property separately? we co-tennant and he is on the deed. i live here and do not intend to move or sell.

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            • #7
              thanks!

              As a result of the information i've gathered on this site i had the confidence to have a successful settlement meeting with my X yesterday! I hope all of you have the occassion to feel this relief. Now i'll need help navigating the proceedings,forms, etc. Again, thanks for being here!!!

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              • #8
                just my two cents on using email to contact etc with an ex. There have been times when two of my female friends have sent me emails and I did not get them. They also did not get anything back saying it was undeliverable. The emails got lost in cyberspace somewhere. My husband has his own email account so it is just me who checks mine. He would never look at or delete mine.

                I have also sent emails that were not received.

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                • #9
                  unreliable email

                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines
                  just my two cents on using email to contact etc with an ex. There have been times when two of my female friends have sent me emails and I did not get them. They also did not get anything back saying it was undeliverable. The emails got lost in cyberspace somewhere. My husband has his own email account so it is just me who checks mine. He would never look at or delete mine.

                  I have also sent emails that were not received.
                  thanks for the reminder. we agreed to do follow up via email and being careful to acknowledge each one.

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