Notice of motion served to me by my son.

[dadforlife]

My son came over on the weekend for his 13th birthday. Once settled in he handed me the communication book. Then he handed me this envelope. In it was a Notice of Motion signed by his mother(we both self represent) arguing a court ordered financial agreement regarding the children's lawyer.

1- What kind of sick demented parent uses their own children to serve the other parent?@#&
2- Since it was served to me by a minor is this document legal.

[Kimberley]

1 - My ex used to communicate that way, everything through the kids; not once would he have the balls to either speak directly to me, call, leave VM, email, nothing - just nasty letters delivered through his children when he bothered to have contact with them

2 - I'm pretty darn certain that's a big no

[Ontario]

My sincere apologies to you for having to deal with that kind of nonsense. Disgraceful that a parent would use their children as a go-between/messenger.


And no, it's not legal. A person must be 18 years of age to serve a document. I've attached a portion of the Family Law Rules that highlight that point.

RULE 6: SERVICE OF DOCUMENTS
METHODS OF SERVICE
<!-- TRANSIT - HYPERLINK --><!-- .tribunaux judiciaires (Loi sur les) - Règl. de l'Ont. 114/99. -->6. <!-- TRANSIT - HYPERLINK --><!-- .tribunaux judiciaires (Loi sur les) - Règl. de l'Ont. 114/99. -->(1) Service of a document under these rules may be carried out by regular service or by special service in accordance with this rule, unless an Act, rule or order provides otherwise. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 6 (1).
AGE RESTRICTION
<!-- TRANSIT - HYPERLINK --><!-- .tribunaux judiciaires (Loi sur les) - Règl. de l'Ont. 114/99. -->(1.1) No person shall serve a document under these rules unless he or she is at least 18 years of age. O. Reg. 6/10, s. 1.

[DunnMom]

My son came over on the weekend for his 13th birthday. Once settled in he handed me the communication book. Then he handed me this envelope. In it was a Notice of Motion signed by his mother(we both self represent) arguing a court ordered financial agreement regarding the children's lawyer.

1- What kind of sick demented parent uses their own children to serve the other parent?@#&:

2- Since it was served to me by a minor is this document legal.

Heck I asked the same thing back on Jan 24/11 ... my ex chooses to "serve" me through our 11 & 13 yr old sons. I choose to spend the $11 and courier any motions/affidavits to him via UPS.

In my post/inquiry I was basically told to $uck it up and accept it :

"You can complain to the judge, but what would be the benefit? Complaining to everybody that he is evil because served you a paper incorrectly will not support your Motion to Change."

So no advice but I can sympatize because IMO it's just goes to prove how oblivious some people can be.

[dadforlife]

I will show up for the motion but it is my responsability to inform my children's lawyer.

[wretchedotis]

you should have opportunity to answer the motion.
argue the motion is invalid and should be dismissed with costs.
show up, and await a decision.

but yes - mean ppl suck. especially those that are mean to children in order to satisfy their own petty self interests.

[LostFather]

My son came over on the weekend for his 13th birthday. Once settled in he handed me the communication book. Then he handed me this envelope. In it was a Notice of Motion signed by his mother(we both self represent) arguing a court ordered financial agreement regarding the children's lawyer.

1- What kind of sick demented parent uses their own children to serve the other parent?@#&
2- Since it was served to me by a minor is this document legal.

A 1. Mine

A 2. No

[LostFather]

I have no answer for #2 but you are not alone, my ex dialed my number and instructed our 5 year old to tell me "Daddy, I don't wanna come to you and I don't love you"

I have to say..of all the shit my ex has done...she did not do that one. ..I am sorry you had to hear that from you child...they dont know what that means and its impact....your ex is a sick c...

[HammerDad]

I am not sure if an affidavit of service is needed to be filed by her regarding the notice of motion, and if one is needed to be filed, how is a minor going to sign that????!??

Even though you were not properly served, you still need to attend the hearing and state that your minor child was the individual who served you the documents and you a) which the motion dismissed for improper service and b) a reminder to each party on the proper means of service and rules of procedure.

She is just dumb for doing that. She is going to get raked over the coals by a judge for involving the child.

[billm]

Okay - I've never been to court or served or anything, but I don't get this thread.

First, who cares if it 'legal' that you were served by someone under 18 - you've got the papers, what does it matter how. If you contest receiving it because the person was not old enough to serve you, to me that is playing games and there is no justification for that.

Second, what is wrong with giving your kids something and saying, can you give this to your father? It would be different if you told them what it was and involve the child in the negative aspects of the contents, but if you just told them to give their parent something from the other one I don't see what the hell everyone is so upset about. The child already passes back and forth the 'communication book'.

To me there is nothing wrong with what she did, in fact it seems to make sense to put it with the communication book to be handed to the other parent.

Now if you find the motion itself to be unreasonable and dishonest, then using the fact that you were not properly served would be a reasonable thing to do as a tactic to fight your ex's passion for going to court, but in my opinion she didn't do anything wrong from a parenting point of view.

[dadforlife]

Never stated that I would not show up for the motion. Actualy looking forward to it . I can prove she can afford to pay her share with her own finacial affidavit. Its all just a stalling tactic. And I will let the judge know how I was served. Surely she has family,friends,neibourghs, that could do it for her.

I hate the idea of my children carrying the communication book but thats what she got the judge to agree too. Texts,e-mails would have been better. The less the kids know the better. My kids know what is in the communication book. Thats why I keep the language and conversations in a civilized manner.

However... When the kids are handed an sealed envelope with the communication book and told to give this to their dad (or mom ),they know its not just your regular communication and that my friend in it self is enough to cause stress and anxiety in a child.

There is absolutly no need to involve your children in an adult situation, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON MAY BE.

[LostFather]

Never stated that I would not show up for the motion. Actualy looking forward to it . I can prove she can afford to pay her share with her own finacial affidavit. Its all just a stalling tactic. And I will let the judge know how I was served. Surely she has family,friends,neibourghs, that could do it for her.

I hate the idea of my children carrying the communication book but thats what she got the judge to agree too. Texts,e-mails would have been better. The less the kids know the better. My kids know what is in the communication book. Thats why I keep the language and conversations in a civilized manner.

However... When the kids are handed an sealed envelope with the communication book and told to give this to their dad (or mom ),they know its not just your regular communication and that my friend in it self is enough to cause stress and anxiety in a child.

There is absolutly no need to involve your children in an adult situation, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON MAY BE.

I agree 110%! There is no need for it and in my opinion anyone who does is just trying to incite or aggravate to other party...service if needed can be done a number of ways and times...sending it with little Jonny or Sally when going to dads or moms is wrong in soooo many ways. The children pick up on emotions and when its handed to you by your children they sence your emotion.

As far as i am aware the initial service needs affidavit of service....anything after that can be sent through regular mail....register it even....but giving it to a child to hand over....not me!

[Ontario]

There is absolutly no need to involve your children in an adult situation, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON MAY BE.

I agree 110&#37;! There is no need for it and in my opinion anyone who does is just trying to incite or aggravate to other party...service if needed can be done a number of ways and times...sending it with little Jonny or Sally when going to dads or moms is wrong in soooo many ways. The children pick up on emotions and when its handed to you by your children they sence your emotion.

I agree as well with Lostfather and DadforLife. Involving your child is not acceptable in any circumstance.

First, who cares if it 'legal' that you were served by someone under 18 - you've got the papers, what does it matter how. If you contest receiving it because the person was not old enough to serve you, to me that is playing games and there is no justification for that

With respect though, I have to disagree with Billm. The Family Law Rules are in place for a reason to prevent 'playing games' and so circumventing the process I would argue is what in fact would be defined as 'playing games.' Furthermore, if someone is willing to conduct themselves in an 'illegal' manner in something as small as service of documents, what other types of things are they capable of?

And lastly, if you just accept her doing that, you send the message and set a precedent for future interactions that she may conduct herself in any way she deems fit.

[billm]

Fair enough - I guess I disagree with myself when I said I don't think she did anything wrong sending legal stuff with the kid.

I never send anything with my kids to give to their mom and do direct drop off or emails, and in my gut it would feel wrong to - I guess it was the communication book transfer that made it seem to be okay to simply include one more thing - but on more thought I disagree - mom was wrong to do it and should have known better.

[NBDad]

I also have to disagree with billm. The child serving the documents places them in the middle of an adult matter, which is clearly not in their best interests.

Legalities aside, it's just NOT cool to do that.

From a legal perspective, the law is written that way for a reason. A judge should not allow the motion until the proper legal process is followed, as it gives you grounds to contest it otherwise and runs the risk of having ANYTHING stemming from it dismissed as the judge erred in the law if he allows it.