How do the courts handle a situation when the payer can't afford post secondary? I don't think we want to be living in a card board box!
You ARE expected to contribute. On the flip side, the CHILD is expected to contribute as well, via part time work, student loans, etc to the tune of 1/3 of the cost typically.
The remaining 2/3 is usually split proportional to income between the parents.
So take what the cost is expected to be (and a quick visit to the post secondary institution will give you this), subtract 1/3, and then take his income + the ex's income (from the NOA) and figure out the cut. Offer that.
THAT is reasonable.
I would also offer to send the CS directly to the child, rather than the mother. 1. It gives the child money for her extras, and 2. it keeps it out of the ex's hands AND makes her look unreasonable when she refuses that.
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