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  • #46
    DRO cant order anything. If your ex refuses to budge its a waste of time to attend a DRC. Been there done that.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      DRO cant order anything. If your ex refuses to budge its a waste of time to attend a DRC. Been there done that.
      Do you have any recommendations?

      Mediation be a big waste as well.

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      • #48
        Get to the case conference. You need a judge.

        If a party is unwilling to negotiate or even mediate then sitting in front of someone with no teeth is a waste of time and money. File your motion and get it heard by a judge.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
          Get to the case conference. You need a judge.

          If a party is unwilling to negotiate or even mediate then sitting in front of someone with no teeth is a waste of time and money. File your motion and get it heard by a judge.
          The application was just filed, wouldn't the CC be at least 4-5 weeks away?

          I spoke with my lawyer just now about skipping DRO and filing a temporary order regarding parenting in the meantime.

          Does that sound wise?

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          • #50
            Filing FOR a temporary order? Probably wise. You need a decision now rather than waiting and letting her get status quo.

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            • #51
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Filing FOR a temporary order? Probably wise. You need a decision now rather than waiting and letting her get status quo.
              Thanks rockscan. I just wanted to be sure this is an option without having yet been to a case conference

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              • #52
                You need to file your motion for access (that may not be the right word but the action is right). When you go to the first appearance, if there is an option, DO NOT opt for the dispute resolution conference. Be warned though, in some jurisdictions they require first timers to go to a divorce "class" where you learn about the process. Just another step in the road. You should also look into the parenting after divorce classes LF32 took. All of these things will help your case.

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                • #53
                  I agree with Rock.

                  Step: 1 Case Conference: You cant have a motion until you have a CC.

                  Judge: Did you try mediation?
                  You: Yep .. she wont budge.

                  Judge: So you want an equal relationship and she does want you to have one? Why? Okay.. you need a motion.

                  Then prepare your ass off for the motion. That's where the big decisions that stick get made.
                  Ju

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    You need to file your motion for access (that may not be the right word but the action is right). When you go to the first appearance, if there is an option, DO NOT opt for the dispute resolution conference. Be warned though, in some jurisdictions they require first timers to go to a divorce "class" where you learn about the process. Just another step in the road. You should also look into the parenting after divorce classes LF32 took. All of these things will help your case.
                    Can DRO be skipped? I read your past post about as well.

                    I am going to the Mandatory Info Prog later this month.

                    Starting parenting classes in Nov, earliest they could take me.

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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      I agree with Rock.

                      Step: 1 Case Conference: You cant have a motion until you have a CC.

                      Judge: Did you try mediation?
                      You: Yep .. she wont budge.

                      Judge: So you want an equal relationship and she does want you to have one? Why? Okay.. you need a motion.

                      Then prepare your ass off for the motion. That's where the big decisions that stick get made.
                      Ju
                      I figured no motion until CC. Which is at least 5 weeks away. What can I do in the meantime?

                      I'll lookup preparing for motions and begin.

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                      • #56
                        Your lawyer should know what the proper procedure is. I always thought you file an application which could be a motion (for instance a motion for access) and a first appearance is scheduled. In some places thats a drc with a dro. I am fuzzy on that. We live in a different jurisdiction that the ex so she filed the motion to change and it went to a drc not a cc and his lawyer wasnt sure how that happened but thinks its because it was a larger jurisdiction so they do that first. It was a COMPLETE waste of time. His ex is asking for tens of thousands she isnt entitled to and was not budging on her wants. Sitting through a session where the person "presiding" had no teeth was a waste of two hours.

                        If your ex is unwilling to negotiate then a motion is paramount. The longer it goes not in front a judge is a challenge. Although it also provides you with opportunities to collect denials and refusals.

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                        • #57
                          No agreement in place. Maybe you should take a couple of weeks off work. Put the children first and keep them with you.

                          Or you need to decide if you are okay with being a every other weekend and Wednesday night Dad plus some holidays such as 1/2 of Christmas and every other March Break.

                          Honestly some guys are okay with that and if that's what you are ok with then no one should judge you.

                          But if you want 50/50 full time Dad the. You need to do that now or you will not get it. Status quo and all she will likely win.

                          People like LF32 fought for 50/50 after their child was essentially abducted. You need to decide what you want. If you keep putting work first then She will get Jmajority of access and you will be the everyother weekend Dad. As I said. It works for lots of Dads. Is that what you want? Time to decide and act!

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                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                            No agreement in place. Maybe you should take a couple of weeks off work. Put the children first and keep them with you.

                            Or you need to decide if you are okay with being a every other weekend and Wednesday night Dad plus some holidays such as 1/2 of Christmas and every other March Break.

                            Honestly some guys are okay with that and if that's what you are ok with then no one should judge you.

                            But if you want 50/50 full time Dad the. You need to do that now or you will not get it. Status quo and all she will likely win.

                            People like LF32 fought for 50/50 after their child was essentially abducted. You need to decide what you want. If you keep putting work first then She will get Jmajority of access and you will be the everyother weekend Dad. As I said. It works for lots of Dads. Is that what you want? Time to decide and act!
                            Being a weekend dad is the furthest from what I want. But how do I keep them with me? Not bring them home when it's. My parenting time?

                            I feel handcuffed right now because she rejected our latest proposal for extended parenting time. A motion is out of the question until our CC which is a minimum 4-5 weeks away.

                            What can I do now until then? Keep throwing proposals her way to keep showing my interest and her denials?



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                            • #59
                              Do you have a cc date? I thought you said you didnt have one?

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                                Do you have a cc date? I thought you said you didnt have one?
                                No CC date. Application was just filed last week. I went to the courthouse today, was told they have 30 days to respond and the earliest possible CC date would come in 4-5 weeks.

                                When does status quo become status quo?

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