Need some Help !

[hrobins]

Going to say this ahead of the time, sorry about the bad english I am a little upset right now. My soon to be ex has changed her demands yet again! She is only claiming that she has 500 dollars worth of household goods and her lawyer is using a bedroom suite , that I got after she left. that I am still renting as part of marriage. Becasue of this she is asking me to pay her a 500 dollar equalization payment. Thing is I have proof that she is not claiming everything that she has. She has also refused to come get her stuff that I have been storing at my home. Her lawyer has also stated that all the debts that I have been paying off from a orderly payment of debt were before the marriage. Thing is, I was not living in Canada before the marriage and the debts I was paying off are from Saskatchewan. I have proof of this and can even prove when i came into Canada with my immgration papers. Based on that she claims that a lien that was placed on me and here was only worth 600 dollars and is willing to only accept 300 dollars as her part. Thing is I have proof that the lien was 1500 dollars. I have since paid off my OPD, as she didn't pay one penny on any of the debts, even the lien. She is also asking that I pay her 415 dollars a month for 7 years for spousal support. I haven't paid her one dime in almost a year, she keeps changing her request for spousal support, at one time, she asked for spousal support to go back to school and wanted me to pay for it. She is also asking for half my pension( I know already that I going to lose this) and any interest that has accured since seperation. She has refused to return the cell phone which I paid for and stuck me with the contract for the cell phone. She has refused to pay any part of the bill. She claims via an emial that he phone was dropped in the toilet and now doesn't work.
Given all this, I have decided to go to pretrial as I am tried of the games she is playing. Thing is with all this proof, how do I go about showing the judge that she has misstated things, has flat out lied, and all she wants is money. I do have a lawyer, but I am concern that my lawyer wants only to take the easy way out and not fight. Does anyone any advice or suggestions that can be of help. It should also be noted that her legal aid lawyer has been dragging their feet on their responses. They asked for infomation back on the first of June and stated they would have a reply back on June 22. They finally gave a letter state what I said above three weeks late. Thing is she has been dragging this out with her legal aid lawyer while I have to pay a lawyer.

Again, any advice/suggestions would be welcome.


I should also state that my ex wrote a Dear Howard letter saying that she was leaving because of the ADHD and knew that it would going to be hard for her to be on her own, but she was going to make it.

[dadtotheend]

Dude, aside from the SS she is asking for, you are arguing about miniscule amounts of money on equalization. Ignore her requests. It's not even worth discussing.

[Rioe]

Yeah, these do sound like kind of small amounts to be getting lawyers involved with. I'm not sure if we're misunderstanding you, but you'll pay far more in legal fees than you'll save by fighting her in court to lower those amounts. Offer her slightly less than she's demanding, and if she goes for it, great. She can consider herself the 'winner' and you can get her out of your life while saving thousands of dollars from lining some lawyer's pocket.

[hrobins]

dadtotheend, my pension is over 40,000 dollars that I know I am going to lose half of. She won't agree to anything lower, I have tried three times to get her to accept no spousal support and try to get out of this the easy way. She has every time changed her requests, has lied saying that the debts in the marriage where before I was married which come up to over 3000 dollars, and I was stuck having to pay off. i also feel that the equalization payment is very unfair as she is saying I have more then what I have. She refuses to accept anything less then what she wants and again keeps changing it.

[Mess]

Just do the equalization properly, don't try to fudge any numbers, total it up according to what you own, don't dispute what she claims she owns.

Your numbers will be accurate. Deduct the debt from your pension and other assets. Don't spend money on lawyers sending letters back and forth, just dig in your heels and simply state that you will not agree to a fraudulent equalization payment based on your ex's false claims.

Separate this from any other issues. Make a reasonable offer on everything else.

Her only option will be to take you to court. Your numbers are accurate, she will lose her suit for equalization and you will seek costs. In reality, her lawyer will tell her that is what is going to happen, and that she doesn't have a snowball's chance.

Don't waste time and money with a lot of back and forth letters over this. A simple statement that your debt is a provable fact and they have no case and they can accept your equalization offer or try to sue you and lose.

Now, this advice is based on you being honest and complete, which I can't see from here.

[hrobins]

Again, thanks for the advice and suggestions, my replies are not to disagree with y'alls advice. They are only to give insite to the situation.

I have been honest in everything I have sent to my lawyer, even gave my lawyer emails that I have sent to my wife when i was going to sue her to get my pets back. I have already said she can have half of my pension, I am going to lose that anyway if it goes to court. But, I refuse to pay her any spousal support for many reasons: 1. She wrote me a Dear Howard letter saying she was leaving becasue of my ADHD and other issues. She stated in that letter she knew it was going to be hard, but she wanted out. (Yes, I have ADHD and have been tested for it in Georgia as well as here in Canada.) 2. she has continued to change what she wants three times, and has continued to push for as much as she can get. 3. My lawyer has said that he doesn't see why she would need spousal support, as she as been living without any support from me for a year and has been doing ok. 4. I am strugging to make ends met and honestly won't have the money to pay her spousal support, she stuck with me the bills and put me in a very bad financial situation.
I should also note that she signed a statement with immgration that she would be responsible for me for 4 years, after I got my PR card. She is still bound by that aggreement with Immgration Canada.

[R.E.Married2]

Immigration?

If she is still responsible for you then that means you've been married for less than 4 years? No kids only pets? This shouldn't be complicated. She might need to be careful or she'll be carrying all your debt. You are angry about her decision but don't let your anger muddy the waters. The advice given is right. Stick to the facts. You don't need to lie or tolerate lying. Paperwork. You need it all. Friends? Hope you have one to keep you on track.

[hrobins]

I have an update to this thread, I found out that my "wife" is now selling/giving away joint martial goods. I have been trying to get her to at least try to talk this out and tried to make an offer to her. My email was only met with slience from her and ignored. I tried to be nice towards her, I tried to control my anger but right now I am so pissed off on nasty she has gotten. This divorce has been dragging out and it seems all she wants to do is see how much money she can get out of me. While she has a legal aid lawyer, I have to pay a lawyer because she refused to do anything. Anyways, what can I do about her selling the joint household goods before anything has been agreed on.

[standing on the sidelines]

I would get your lawyer to send her a letter that says she has to cease selling/giving away stuff until after the divorce is complete or the fair market value of the stuff will be deducted from her share of the pension payout. Also see if there is some way to get all your personal stuff from before the marriage out of the place.

[paris]

... my pension is over 40,000 dollars that I know I am going to lose half of.
... I should also note that she signed a statement with immgration that she would be responsible for me for 4 years, after I got my PR card. She is still bound by that aggreement with Immgration Canada.

How long were you married? Less than 4 years? You didn't invest $40,000 in you pension since the date of marriage. She's only entitled to half of what you put in since the marriage.

Lets say you entered the marriage with a $30,000 pension. On the date of separation the value was $40,000. She's entitled to half of the $10,000 accumulated while you were married. She is not entitled to any value or interest since the date of separation.

[hrobins]

I should make it clear that I have been married for 9 years, I bought my "wife" down to the United States, we lived there for a year and she wanted to come back home to Canada. I came with her, it took almost 2 1/2 years for me to get permission to work and to get perm resident status. I have only been working in Canada for about 5 years and she is going to be getting half of my pension which as of right now is going to come up to about $20,000 dollars

[blinkandimgone]

Brought dear, brought.

Unless of course you had bought her down in the states - if you kept the reciept, take her back!

[hrobins]

I brought her down to the states, thanks for the correct word. Last I saw, there was 40k in my pension fund. She was married to me the entire time I was putting money in it, so she is going to get at least half of that.

[standing on the sidelines]

Brought dear, brought.

Unless of course you had bought her down in the states - if you kept the reciept, take her back!

you always make me laugh!!

[blinkandimgone]

I dont' think he splurged for the extended warranty.