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  • #16
    Wow...I'm not really very surprised that this forum has a low level of members contributing given the obvious levels of animosity displayed. Of course I understand that the info presented (by me) is merely a glimpse of the situation and not the whole picture, but yikes...there is a lot of judgement going on here, which I'm led to believe is coloured by bad experiences with ex partners/ husbands or the new wives of partners/ husbands having to deal with an ex-wife.

    I'm not going to go back over the previous replies and attempt to correct errors of misreading or attempt to clarify anything further, as doing so would be a fruitless exercise.

    I've spoken with the ex. We've reached an agreement on the best course of action.
    It's all good in the hood
    Ciao.

    Comment


    • #17
      Seperated

      I got seperated exactly this time last year.

      My X got influenced by people and called police, and i was out.

      i was paying mortgage, her phone bill, day care, car lease, carinsurance , water, hydro, gas and all the bills

      My X wont pay anything and would say i am morally responsible for all expenses

      Now, after an year i stopped paying anything as i out of country and not having any job.

      she now called me and threatened spousal support and child support.
      and claims to approach court.

      When i was in Ontario she wont allow me to meet my 10 year daughter.
      I have not my daughter for over 12 months now.

      Can they ask me to pay her spousal support and child support when i am job less.

      I used work and get over 100$K and that motivated her to get SS and CS

      ANy information about this situation

      what are my rights and my X rights

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by earthmother1970 View Post
        Wow...I'm not really very surprised that this forum has a low level of members contributing given the obvious levels of animosity displayed. Of course I understand that the info presented (by me) is merely a glimpse of the situation and not the whole picture, but yikes...there is a lot of judgement going on here, which I'm led to believe is coloured by bad experiences with ex partners/ husbands or the new wives of partners/ husbands having to deal with an ex-wife.

        I'm not going to go back over the previous replies and attempt to correct errors of misreading or attempt to clarify anything further, as doing so would be a fruitless exercise.

        I've spoken with the ex. We've reached an agreement on the best course of action.
        It's all good in the hood
        Ciao.

        Yes there are indeed many people who base their advice on personal experiences with ex-wives. Sometimes it's good advice and other times I think it gets a tad carried away. Best thing to do is pick through and grab the "nuggets" and don't take it personally.

        I do agree that children are excellent manipulators. Tis human nature to take advantage of a situation (such as divorce/separation) to get what one wants. I know kids are especially vocal about things they do not want to do. I believe it is important to acknowledge feelings but probably wise to know that parenting discussions/decisions are best between the two parents and no one else.

        Glad to hear that you reached an agreement with your ex.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by seperated View Post
          I got seperated exactly this time last year.

          My X got influenced by people and called police, and i was out.

          i was paying mortgage, her phone bill, day care, car lease, carinsurance , water, hydro, gas and all the bills

          My X wont pay anything and would say i am morally responsible for all expenses

          Now, after an year i stopped paying anything as i out of country and not having any job.

          she now called me and threatened spousal support and child support.
          and claims to approach court.

          When i was in Ontario she wont allow me to meet my 10 year daughter.
          I have not my daughter for over 12 months now.

          Can they ask me to pay her spousal support and child support when i am job less.

          I used work and get over 100$K and that motivated her to get SS and CS

          ANy information about this situation

          what are my rights and my X rights

          You should be paying child support. While I don't know all the details of your situation it sounds like you made the decision to move out of the country. That would explain why you haven't seen your daughter for 12 months would it not?

          Child support and Spousal Support are two separate issues. How long were you married? Did your wife work at any time during your marriage? Do you have a separation agreement?

          Yes a court can order child and spousal support but in order for her to get spousal support she has to prove that she is entitled to it (thus the reason for my previous questions). If you are currently unemployed the court can/may look at your past 3 years income history and impute an average income to you. It is very important that you have your tax return information because this will likely come into play. There are government specified income guidelines which determine how much child support you should be paying. Spousal support (if she is eligible) is an entirely different set of calculations but what you pay in child support will be important.

          If you do not pay child support then you can eventually lose your license and have your passport declared void and then you would not be able to get back into the country.

          You should do some reading and get a lawyer.

          Comment


          • #20
            there is a lot of judgement going on here, which I'm led to believe is coloured by bad experiences with ex partners/ husbands or the new wives of partners/ husbands having to deal with an ex-wife.
            LOL...so if someone disagrees with your premise to deny fair access to the children's father, they have bad experiences? It couldn't possibly be that you are biased?

            In my case, I definitely don't care for my ex but we have equal and fair access to our minor child. I consider it in every child's best interest to have fair access to both parents barring an abuse situation.

            As far as I know, my ex doesn't have a new wife...nor would it matter if he did. He'd still my children's father and have a right to a relationship with them.

            Comment


            • #21
              I got seperated exactly this time last year.

              My X got influenced by people and called police, and i was out.

              i was paying mortgage, her phone bill, day care, car lease, carinsurance , water, hydro, gas and all the bills

              My X wont pay anything and would say i am morally responsible for all expenses

              Now, after an year i stopped paying anything as i out of country and not having any job.

              she now called me and threatened spousal support and child support.
              and claims to approach court.

              When i was in Ontario she wont allow me to meet my 10 year daughter.
              I have not my daughter for over 12 months now.

              Can they ask me to pay her spousal support and child support when i am job less.

              I used work and get over 100$K and that motivated her to get SS and CS

              ANy information about this situation

              what are my rights and my X rights
              Can one of the mods move this to a new thread so this OP can get adequate replies? It looks like a new poster who doesn't know how to start one.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by earthmother1970 View Post
                Wow...I'm not really very surprised that this forum has a low level of members contributing given the obvious levels of animosity displayed. Of course I understand that the info presented (by me) is merely a glimpse of the situation and not the whole picture, but yikes...there is a lot of judgement going on here, which I'm led to believe is coloured by bad experiences with ex partners/ husbands or the new wives of partners/ husbands having to deal with an ex-wife.

                I'm not going to go back over the previous replies and attempt to correct errors of misreading or attempt to clarify anything further, as doing so would be a fruitless exercise.

                I've spoken with the ex. We've reached an agreement on the best course of action.
                It's all good in the hood
                Ciao.
                I'm sorry other posters jumped on you. Some people have a hair-trigger reaction to anything which could be interpreted as "possessiveness" on the part of a residential parent, even when that parent is expressing honest concern about the best way to handle a situation and not trying to "deny access" to the non-residential parent. I'm glad you and ex have worked out an agreement and the kids will get more time with both parents.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Some people have view points based on what has happened with the children....coloured from kids who didn't have meaningful relationships with one parent (most often their fathers) on account of the other parent.

                  The sword cuts both ways. Be forewarned of that. I've seen it happen too.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by earthmother1970 View Post

                    Daughter 11 suffers from an anxiety disorder and has only recently ceased having tearful panic attacks about going to her dad's house for the alternate weekends
                    Sounds like you did a good job alienating the kids from their father.

                    If you WANT them have a meaningful relationship, give them more time, and with that the anxiety will disappear. About 50% would be adequate.

                    Comment

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