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  • Representation by male or female lawyer?

    Hmmmmm..... Touchy subject....

    I've been told a gazilion times that, when kids are involved, you should always get a female lawyer. Unless someone can provide me with cold, hard stats proving that male lawyers have a lower success rate, than I would consider this sort of advice BS.

    Your thoughts?

  • #2
    Hi There

    I totally disagree with you.Gender of your lawyer has nothing to do .Just go for a good lawyer and be truthful to her/his.I stayed with my lawyer for two continuous yrs and finally won the battle on facts and truth.My ex changed 4 lawyers (one female and 3 males) and even the 4th one requested Mr judge at the settlement conferance that if the case is going to trial then he will quit.
    My ex kept on digging the holes for me and finally he digged so big that he himself couldn't escape.I know divorce battle is frustrating and stressful but one should behave like a HUMAN atleast specially where kids are involved.If you are in ottawa I can give you my lawyer address and phone number She is superb but hates lies where ever necessary she will mould it a bit herself:-)

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks Sufferer, but, I personally don't mind either way and was not saying that I prefer one over the other. I agree with you that gender should not be an issue.

      I, too, am dealing with proven facts while my ex is building her case on lies.

      Can I ask how much you've spent during your two year court battle?

      Also, I would be interested in getting your lawyer's contact information.

      Thanks!

      Comment


      • #4
        This is interesting...

        A few things to keep in mind

        Perjury often runs rampant in family law. Courts don't really have the time to investigate truths, half-truths and misleading information unless there is a trial.

        Generally, status quo regimes of the child prevail unless there is serious deficiencies in promoting the child's best interest.

        In a custody adjudication, no matter what the outcome the said child is still the product of Both parents and no order will change that.

        lv

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by logicalvelocity
          ...Perjury often runs rampant in family law...
          Not something I wanted to hear... So my choices are: a) get affidavits for everything she says / claims, b) Join the club and lie my arse off, or c) keep on being honest, swallow my pride, and let my reputation go to waste.

          Option a) is too financially expensive!
          Option b) is too morally expensive!
          Option c) may mean that I only get my kids every two weeks....

          Originally posted by logicalvelocity
          ...Generally, status quo regimes of the child prevail...
          But what exactly is the legal definition of "status quo"? How long does something have to go on before it becomes the status quo? We've been separated for two months, I was seeing the kids every 2-3 days (verbal agreement) after that, then two weeks ago I get a letter, out of nowhere, from her lawyer telling me I can only see them every two week-ends. Has the status quo been implemented yet?

          Ugh!

          On the bright side, I've lost 10 lbs!

          Comment


          • #6
            I favour lv's response

            In light of many of your postings - get a lawyer quick male or female makes no matter - 2 months is long enough. Perhaps hers can mediate? - not sure if it is a conflict at this point. Are you afraid of asserting your rights. If Staus quo is to keep things as normal as possible for the sake of the children - how are her actions status quo?
            Back to your other question
            Talk to your bank about the line of credit - both your names on it - both responsible for it. This goes for credit cards. If she won't release you off the joint credit cards email them or talk to the branch about having a release signed that as of this date you are not responsible. Generally it requires a witness and it is as of the signed witnessed date. Start tidying up things at your end and try to move on. Stop listening to her because - remember she has an emotional bearing on you and can manipulate you and it seems she is doing so through her lawyer and the kids. Not fair. "Good behavior" so to speak, - not trying to be insulting, goes a long way. As for this verbal seperation agreement - you formalize it, as you remember it, as soon as you can in writing and send it to her lawyer. Also request perhaps if this lawyer would like to mediate - not sure if this is a conflict at this point because your x retained him/her first. This may be an option for you. I think they may be trying to deny your priviledge to see your own children in hopes that you may jump at the first settlement offer. Stay stong on your rights to your children.

            Comment


            • #7
              If you're seeing your kids every two or three days now, that is the status quo. The lawyer's letter carries no authority to change that. The letter is designed to intimidate you into accepting a new arrangement that will become the status quo. If you allow that unilateral declaration without fighting, you could be seen to be accepting it and then you could be screwed.

              Comment


              • #8
                hi HeartBrokenDad

                Everybody is suggesting you based on their experience .Based on mine I will suggest you to see your kids as often as possible.Since there are no custody orders in place so you should have the liberal access.Don't give up .Send her registered letters,emails etc requesting politely for more time and more frequent visits.Do keep a check on their health records,school reports etc etc .Pay the child support as per the guidelines on time.Just show your true picture to the court that you are a nice involved dad/person. Two months is NO STATUS QUO.LV is very right that till the case goes to trial court just considers his words versus hers but remember "lies don't have feet so can't walk far".Whatever my ex claimed in his sweared affidavits later he contradicted his own statements.Court noticed it although didn't slap him openly but the decision went in my favour and poor fellow paid the motion costs for his as well as mine.
                For any questions/legal advise ask for help from our dear moderator LV and for the moral/eotional support all the members are here including me ofcourse

                Be brave and take care

                Comment


                • #9
                  [ The letter is designed to intimidate you into accepting a new arrangement that will become the status quo. If you allow that unilateral declaration without fighting, you could be seen to be accepting it and then you could be screwed.[/QUOTE]

                  Its very much true so don't take it

                  Comment

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