Venting.
I just left our daughter's daycare xmas party (3.5yo) in disgust. It was on my ex's time so she had 'control'.
The few times our daughter and I were sitting together we were fine and happy. As soon as my ex appears, my daughter turns off, gets up to go to mom, and refuses to interact further with me.
It appears she is learning that when in mom's environment it is not permitted to interact with dad. The same happens when I pick her up from daycare (another mom-environment) - sometimes great unhappiness at my presence and wailing for mummy. Then after 15 minutes together we are happy again, and she does not mention mummy again - it's like she needs to rearrange her 'mindframe'. And even on handover back to mom, daughter is burbling kisses and happy goodbyes to me (so the indoctrination is not quite complete).
Sigh.
Pretty sure all I can do is just make sure daughter knows she is secure with and loved by me, whatever else she might be hearing. But I'm really scared that a dad (alternate weekends and weds overnights) has no chance against what a very hostile mother can do to her daughter.
Scared... and honestly, angry.
If anyone has any ideas on how to combat this by talking directly with daughter **BUT IN POSITIVE WAY, WITHOUT CAUSING DISTRESS TO DAUGHTER OR SLANGING MOM** I'd love to hear them.
I just left our daughter's daycare xmas party (3.5yo) in disgust. It was on my ex's time so she had 'control'.
The few times our daughter and I were sitting together we were fine and happy. As soon as my ex appears, my daughter turns off, gets up to go to mom, and refuses to interact further with me.
It appears she is learning that when in mom's environment it is not permitted to interact with dad. The same happens when I pick her up from daycare (another mom-environment) - sometimes great unhappiness at my presence and wailing for mummy. Then after 15 minutes together we are happy again, and she does not mention mummy again - it's like she needs to rearrange her 'mindframe'. And even on handover back to mom, daughter is burbling kisses and happy goodbyes to me (so the indoctrination is not quite complete).
Sigh.
Pretty sure all I can do is just make sure daughter knows she is secure with and loved by me, whatever else she might be hearing. But I'm really scared that a dad (alternate weekends and weds overnights) has no chance against what a very hostile mother can do to her daughter.
Scared... and honestly, angry.
If anyone has any ideas on how to combat this by talking directly with daughter **BUT IN POSITIVE WAY, WITHOUT CAUSING DISTRESS TO DAUGHTER OR SLANGING MOM** I'd love to hear them.
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