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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41  
Old 01-26-2007, 12:29 PM
workingthruit workingthruit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mominont
Well as a single working mom who has her daughter 100% of the time, my ex has supervised access roughly 6hrs a week. Chances are I will be the "spouse" paying spousal support while recieving NO child support. I can honestly tell you that I am raising my daughter not the daycare. I make sure I'm home by 5 to take my daughter to activities. We certainly don't eat that much fast food, I use the crockpot!

I can't understand how it costs you 2000 dollars a month to live, yet your live in boyfriend is sharing in the costs.

Quite frankly I don't think you deserve spousal support any longer, at the equilization payment I think you recieved compensation for the stay at home years!

However once back in court you'll probably still get some form of spousal support and about your ex husbands new wife, don't worry about your hubby supporting her kids, his new wife is doing that herself!!

mominont
Thanks mominont

I thought maybe I was living in the twilight zone, where I was the only woman left alive who thought this way!

Congrats on the hard work you do - although, you, like myself, probably just see the dedication to your child as something moms 'do', not something we will be paid for.

Sorry your ex is such a lame-brain, getting dinged 2x, once for not having him financially support his child, and again for spousal support is exactly the kind of travesty of justice I get all riled up about!!!

I was also a single mom for 7 years (I am in a new relationship now) - and took out a loan, went to school full-time, had my kids in care when it was absolutely required, not another minute - and can now proudly say that my ex and I earn the same amount of money and support our children equally, while we both support ourselves!!

I did also use my slow-cooker a lot - and managed for years to keep my monthly budget below $2000 - while supporting 2 small kids ... and don't feel a speck of sympathy for those who refuse to do the same. A $4000 dollar a month budget for 2 adults sounds like a pretty lovely lifestyle to me - nothing to complain about at all!

I might also mention that I left college when I got pregnant for our first child, stayed home for 5 years, had a 2 & 4 year old when we seperated - would have been more than eligible for spousal support, and LITERALLY did not consider even asking for it.

I hope your ex doesn't get another penny from you, I really do!
Good luck!
  #42  
Old 01-26-2007, 12:41 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by workingthruit
Thanks mominont

I thought maybe I was living in the twilight zone, where I was the only woman left alive who thought this way!

Congrats on the hard work you do - although, you, like myself, probably just see the dedication to your child as something moms 'do', not something we will be paid for.

Sorry your ex is such a lame-brain, getting dinged 2x, once for not having him financially support his child, and again for spousal support is exactly the kind of travesty of justice I get all riled up about!!!

I was also a single mom for 7 years (I am in a new relationship now) - and took out a loan, went to school full-time, had my kids in care when it was absolutely required, not another minute - and can now proudly say that my ex and I earn the same amount of money and support our children equally, while we both support ourselves!!

I did also use my slow-cooker a lot - and managed for years to keep my monthly budget below $2000 - while supporting 2 small kids ... and don't feel a speck of sympathy for those who refuse to do the same. A $4000 dollar a month budget for 2 adults sounds like a pretty lovely lifestyle to me - nothing to complain about at all!

I might also mention that I left college when I got pregnant for our first child, stayed home for 5 years, had a 2 & 4 year old when we seperated - would have been more than eligible for spousal support, and LITERALLY did not consider even asking for it.

I hope your ex doesn't get another penny from you, I really do!
Good luck!
I would like to ask both of you how long you were married? I am assuming it wasn't the 24 years in my history.
  #43  
Old 01-26-2007, 01:40 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildrose
We do not live extravagantly by any means and yes, my expenses are $2000.00 per month. I don't know what your budget is but when we add up mortgage, utilities, vehicles and insurance, property taxes, house insurance, groceries, etc etc etc. the bills are very high. We do nothing on credit and we pay our credit cards monthly so as not to have the expense of paying high interest. So we are debt free other than our mortgage payment each month.
woooh. Did I miss something here. Are you living with your new partner? Just trying to clarify the "we".
  #44  
Old 01-26-2007, 02:07 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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[QUOTE=wildrose]
As far as the case that is pending in court. I don't want an increase, I just want what was agreed upon in the beginning. QUOTE]

BTW, what DID you agree on? Spousal support for life. Or just spousal support? I would like to see the fine print. Most spousal support clauses have a release for re-marriage, termination upon death, etc. Some have term limits. Some not. Does the line in your agreement basically say: $2000 SS per month? Perhaps that is where the confusion lies. Each party with different expectations.
  #45  
Old 01-26-2007, 02:14 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace

If any of the original members still "lurk" please say hi. In the meanwhile good luck to the rest of you. Litigation is not for the weak kneed.

Best to all,
Grace
Hello Grace. Out of court yet?

DD
  #46  
Old 01-26-2007, 03:23 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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[QUOTE=Decent Dad]
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildrose
As far as the case that is pending in court. I don't want an increase, I just want what was agreed upon in the beginning. QUOTE]

BTW, what DID you agree on? Spousal support for life. Or just spousal support? I would like to see the fine print. Most spousal support clauses have a release for re-marriage, termination upon death, etc. Some have term limits. Some not. Does the line in your agreement basically say: $2000 SS per month? Perhaps that is where the confusion lies. Each party with different expectations.
Our spousal support agreement states $2000.00 per month with no time limits. It has no terms as far as remarriage, termination upon death, etc. It states that the amount of $2000.00 per month is to be paid in two installments of $1000.00 on the 15th day of the month and $1000.00 on the last day of the month. It is all laid out very clearly. This was agreed upon out of court, in my lawyers office in a meeting with my ex and his lawyer, myself and my lawyer all in attendance. They were then given a month to digest it all while my laywer filed the settlement with the court.....I believe it was a Notice of Motion but not sure of the correct term. Anyway, that's why I pay her to know what these things are called. My ex is now stating that he signed the agreement under duress because he was stressed out about our daughters upcoming wedding and his financial obligatoins for that which I paid half of.
  #47  
Old 01-26-2007, 03:28 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Decent Dad
woooh. Did I miss something here. Are you living with your new partner? Just trying to clarify the "we".
Yes, I now live with a partner and before everyone gets all bent out of shape, his annual salary is $24,000.00 working as a labourer and he pays his own child support of $600.00 per month for two children. We split all household bills 50/50 and my share of the household expenses is $1938.00. Contrary to belief on this site, we do not live a large lifestyle. We maybe eat out once a month. We live in a manufactured home (trailer) on a lot in a small town of 1300 people. We pay vehicle expenses, property taxes, utilities, medical bills, groceries, etc etc etc just like everyone else. We don't take vacations because we can't afford it and the last piece of new clothing I bought was a new sweater last fall to wear to a family function. So if others on here don't believe that our monthly expenses are what they are, then I guess that is their perogative.
  #48  
Old 01-26-2007, 04:24 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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[QUOTE=wildrose]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Decent Dad

Our spousal support agreement states $2000.00 per month with no time limits. It has no terms as far as remarriage, termination upon death, etc. It states that the amount of $2000.00 per month is to be paid in two installments of $1000.00 on the 15th day of the month and $1000.00 on the last day of the month. It is all laid out very clearly. This was agreed upon out of court, in my lawyers office in a meeting with my ex and his lawyer, myself and my lawyer all in attendance. They were then given a month to digest it all while my laywer filed the settlement with the court.....I believe it was a Notice of Motion but not sure of the correct term. Anyway, that's why I pay her to know what these things are called. My ex is now stating that he signed the agreement under duress because he was stressed out about our daughters upcoming wedding and his financial obligatoins for that which I paid half of.
Usually a support clause has terms, especially "terminates upon remariage". Although clauses on spousal support are basically useless.

The problem is the clause is very simple. Yes, it was agreed upon by everyone, as court orders are. And yes it is laid out very clearly: two payments of $1K each. And your ex paid his support.

But simple can be good, or bad. Depending if you are the payor or the recipient, and what the "material change" is. So, that nice, simple, clearly laid out and ordered line is the problem.

It does not say:

"$2000 spousal support for life regardless"

as you think, nor does it say...

"$2000 spousal support, termination upon remarriage, loss of job, etc"

as your ex would like.

It just says, $2000 per month. Therefore your ex is fully within his rights to attempt to reduce or terminate it. Thats the law. Oddly, if it had a time limit, it would have been harder to terminate it before the time limit ends. And, if it had a remarriage clause, it would be hard to evoke that clause and terminiate since people usually co-habitate long before marriage, or may not remarry. That remarriage clause is useless anyway (note: see a previous post of mine about spousal support termination clauses regarding "spirit of intent").

So, in the end, your ex is not playing unfair at all. He is playing by the Divorce Act. He has several material changes (loss of job, remarriage, etc). And actually so do you (new income, living with someone, etc). The whole kit and kaboodle will be plopped onto the judge to figure out.

Welcome to Canadian Divorce 101. Marriage may not last, but divorce lasts forever.
  #49  
Old 01-26-2007, 04:29 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildrose
Yes, I now live with a partner and before everyone gets all bent out of shape, his annual salary is $24,000.00 working as a labourer and he pays his own child support of $600.00 per month for two children. We split all household bills 50/50 and my share of the household expenses is $1938.00. Contrary to belief on this site, we do not live a large lifestyle. We maybe eat out once a month. We live in a manufactured home (trailer) on a lot in a small town of 1300 people. We pay vehicle expenses, property taxes, utilities, medical bills, groceries, etc etc etc just like everyone else. We don't take vacations because we can't afford it and the last piece of new clothing I bought was a new sweater last fall to wear to a family function. So if others on here don't believe that our monthly expenses are what they are, then I guess that is their perogative.
The reason I asked, co-habitating/remarriage is a material change that can trigger a SS review. In the good old days that would have also terminated your support. No questions asked. But in the wild-west divorce rodeo we have right now, it really does not matter too much. They'll just put his income on the form.

BTW, we all pay bills...
  #50  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:31 PM
wildrose wildrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Decent Dad
The reason I asked, co-habitating/remarriage is a material change that can trigger a SS review. In the good old days that would have also terminated your support. No questions asked. But in the wild-west divorce rodeo we have right now, it really does not matter too much. They'll just put his income on the form.

BTW, we all pay bills...
Yes, you are so right. It will all be plopped in front of a judge and we'll see what happens. I am not saying it's right or wrong. The whole beginning of this was just to see if anyone else had been in this situaton and I was only asking if anyone had experience with this sort of thing.

And yes, we all have bills to pay. I guess the problem I have is people on this board questioning how our money is spent. Either we are the only ones on the planet that pay huge utility and property tax bills or we are being screwed by someone sending phantom bills in the mail!
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