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  • #46
    I second parenting courses, First Aid courses, NVCPI courses, etc.

    Judges love this stuff and they're great to have anyways.

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    • #47
      Hi Guys,

      I have followed all the advices.
      I'm still going to her dad's house to see the boy.
      Now she is bringing more people (visit) every time I'm there. She says they are witnesses. It is very tough to go there but I'm making the effort.
      She is very upset because I do not give up even though she is bringing her friends along.
      Everybody is playing with the boy, so I do not have time with him.
      In front of everybody she was giving me orders. I was not doing what she was saying. She said at her house I had to follow the rules. I said I would not do it. So she called the cops. She said to them I was not behaving well. But she never asked me to leave. The cops asked me to leave, so I did. They gave me the reference number and told me not to worry because I have not done anything wrong. So I left.

      I believe she has a plan. It might be a trap.

      I think I should not go there anymore. I think she is planning to take me to court.

      Do you guys think I should keep going or should I go to the court?

      If I go to the court now and they grant me the access right, do I have to go to the court again when she takes me to the court?

      Thanks

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      • #48
        This whole thing really sucks.

        She might have done you a favour by sabotaging the only way that she was currently letting you see the kid. She was clearly trying to start a fight to show you were unfit.

        I do not suggest you go back there. You should have been in court a while ago. Either get a lawyer or represent yourself, but start TODAY.

        Comment


        • #49
          I followed the advices ( payed the child support and sent her a letter trying settlement). I was noth tinking in going to the court as suggested on one of the replies

          Only enter that courtroom if you're pushed there. If there's no other choice, as was the case in my situation. All I ever wanted was peace, settlement, to speak like reasonable adults and follow the maximum contact principle.

          Comment


          • #50
            It doesn't sound like you will have many options. Court looks like the only way for you to go. You can file a motion for parenting time while still trying to negotiate an agreement in the background.

            You should still try to get time. Email her and be polite. When you are there, stay focused on the child. As for her barking orders, well unless they are unreasonable, it may be good to listen to a few of them. They may actually be in the kids best interests. But outside of that, you could say that this is my parenting time, and you are as capable at parenting as she is.

            But I still think you HAVE to go. Just because she is putting up unreasonable obstructions, doesn't mean you give up. But going forward, you bring a digital voice recorder to protect yourself. The recorder isn't meant to get dirt on the ex, but to protect you should she call the cops again. Always be polite and reasonable. Also, should she have friends over all the time, ensure you log it in a journal that your parenting time was interfered with on X date because people A, B and C were there and it was expected that they also get time with the child at the same time. If you can remember who was there before and on what dates, start your journal now. It is to show that even though you are trying to parent and bond with the child, the ex is interfering by not respecting the limited time you have. Thus you need parenting time away from her and her house to parent alone and bond with the child.

            But you are likely going to have to go to court. But you also must continue try and see the child. Suck it up when you are there, but you can always send a follow up email to the ex asking that she respect your parenting time by:

            a. allowing you to parent. Yes, she may see you make mistakes, but making mistakes is part of learning how to parent; and

            b. ensure that any other individual who is around during your parenting time appreciate that this your time with the child, and that they please not interfere, as she is only allowing precious little time as it is.

            Those are both very reasonable requests. If she rebuffs them, she will look unreasonable and a judge will likely grant more of what you want.

            But stay the course. Pay the c/s and file a motion. Maybe once the ex sees you are serious about this they will snap out of it. It is wishful thinking, as the motion will likely cause her to get even more difficult. But there is nothing you can do about that. If she asks why you are doing this, you simply state in a calm manner that you don't believe she is acting reasonably and in the child's best interests when it comes to your parenting time. That your parenting time is unreasonably low and constantly interfered with in one way or another. Had she been more reasonable, and allowed you to parent in a meaningful fashion, that you may not see the need to move this way.

            Comment


            • #51
              Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
              It doesn't sound like you will have many options. Court looks like the only way for you to go. You can file a motion for parenting time while still trying to negotiate an agreement in the background.

              You should still try to get time. Email her and be polite. When you are there, stay focused on the child. As for her barking orders, well unless they are unreasonable, it may be good to listen to a few of them. They may actually be in the kids best interests. But outside of that, you could say that this is my parenting time, and you are as capable at parenting as she is.

              But I still think you HAVE to go. Just because she is putting up unreasonable obstructions, doesn't mean you give up. But going forward, you bring a digital voice recorder to protect yourself. The recorder isn't meant to get dirt on the ex, but to protect you should she call the cops again. Always be polite and reasonable. Also, should she have friends over all the time, ensure you log it in a journal that your parenting time was interfered with on X date because people A, B and C were there and it was expected that they also get time with the child at the same time. If you can remember who was there before and on what dates, start your journal now. It is to show that even though you are trying to parent and bond with the child, the ex is interfering by not respecting the limited time you have. Thus you need parenting time away from her and her house to parent alone and bond with the child.

              But you are likely going to have to go to court. But you also must continue try and see the child. Suck it up when you are there, but you can always send a follow up email to the ex asking that she respect your parenting time by:

              a. allowing you to parent. Yes, she may see you make mistakes, but making mistakes is part of learning how to parent; and

              b. ensure that any other individual who is around during your parenting time appreciate that this your time with the child, and that they please not interfere, as she is only allowing precious little time as it is.

              Those are both very reasonable requests. If she rebuffs them, she will look unreasonable and a judge will likely grant more of what you want.

              But stay the course. Pay the c/s and file a motion. Maybe once the ex sees you are serious about this they will snap out of it. It is wishful thinking, as the motion will likely cause her to get even more difficult. But there is nothing you can do about that. If she asks why you are doing this, you simply state in a calm manner that you don't believe she is acting reasonably and in the child's best interests when it comes to your parenting time. That your parenting time is unreasonably low and constantly interfered with in one way or another. Had she been more reasonable, and allowed you to parent in a meaningful fashion, that you may not see the need to move this way.
              ^^^^Listen, digest and act.

              Comment

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