The Custody Wars

[lumpy]

Sadly some parents really believe that children should be able to chose where they want to live, even when it is to their detriment. Children of the marriage should be able to chose where they want to live when they are adults, just as children from parents who stay together do. This is one of the bonuses of being children - you are shielded from making adult decisions and able to just be a child.

CSM78 - the example that you gave is a very rare one (hopefully) and the events in that young girls life forced her to grow up far too quickly. She was forced into adult situations and eventually became an adult in a child's body, thus able to make adult decisions.

Most children aren't capable of fully understanding consequences and shouldn't be making adult decisions.

[lumpy]

CSM78 Seriously, at what age do you think that a child (not abused) should be able to decide unilaterally where they want to live?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

I think that it has to be determined case by case, IF a family is in court and it is clear they cannot agree, and they are going to drag their children through hell, I think the Judge should be allowed to speak to the child. IF we as parents and grown ups cannot act like grown ups and our children are acting more like adults then we are, it is clear there is a problem.

[dadtotheend]

I think that it has to be determined case by case, IF a family is in court and it is clear they cannot agree, and they are going to drag their children through hell, I think the Judge should be allowed to speak to the child. IF we as parents and grown ups cannot act like grown ups and our children are acting more like adults then we are, it is clear there is a problem.

TOTAL fantasy. Do you really think that the state has the resources to train judges to be child psychologists? Or that a psychologists's half hour with a child will suffice?

That's what government and private assessments are designed to do!!!

And those professionals will clearly tell you that children don't have the capacity to make those decisions!!!!!

Holy bang my head against a ginormous wall Batman!!!!

[Gary M]

Yeah... make the child choose. They probably don't feel bad enough about things already...

My ex forced the kids to choose between us, and they chose me. And I STILL think that was a horrible thing to do, and I would roll back the clock if I could. It's abuse.

Gary

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

I think that in family law Judges and lawyers should be requred to take psychology courses.

[Gary M]

And those professionals will clearly tell you that children don't have the capacity to make those decisions!!!!!

So would ANYBODY who has a degree in psychology.

I'm just sayin' ...

Gary

[dadtotheend]

I think that in family law Judges and lawyers should be requred to take psychology courses.

YouTube - Lesley Gore - Sunshine, Lollipops And Rainbows (with Lyrics)

[Gary M]

I think that in family law Judges and lawyers should be requred to take psychology courses.

Brilliant - another 4 years in university for them all... I bet that their costs would only rise by, oh, 400% or so....

Psychology is not their job... that's why we have psychologists.

Familiy law pratitioners are concerned with the Law and Truth (at least ostensibly so) and don't need to know how to get in people's heads: They have experts to do that for them.

Gary

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

SOrry I broght anyhting up, I thought I could help people see some different views

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

The 1989 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, children have the right to a nurturing environment in accordance with their developmental needs; the right to have their voices heard in accordance with their ages; the right to legal representation; and the right to economic and emotional support from their parents and from the state.

[lumpy]

the right to have their voices heard in accordance with their ages

You said it.... In accordance with their ages.

[dadtotheend]

Holy crap CSM78 come back form Dreamland.

Dollars are not falling from the sky to fund all this.

We don't live in Utopia. We have to make choices that involve costs/benefits.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Thats what I was trying to say to begin with, it is case by case, one 12 year old may be completely mature while another 12 year old may not. There may be a child of 8 or 9 who is more mature than a 12 year old.

It is truly case my case, and circumstance by cirmstance.

[dadtotheend]

Where's that kitten Kimberley?

I give up.