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Spousal support?
I'm looking for a starting point and some advice ... and perhaps I also want to vent a little, so please bare with me.
I have been living separately from my husband for a year, but still can't accept that he is with a girl he started dating while we were married! It's become an obsession despite my being aware of how futile and counterproductive it is. Neither of us have made any effort toward making our separation/divorce legal. Him, never one to take the initiative, me, not wanting to cut the final thread. Lately, I'm getting more and more bitter about him wining and dining her, while I live in a meager apartment and eat out of the pot by the sink.
We had no kids, and we enjoyed quite a few luxuries when we were together. I've always wanted very much to have children, and now I'm afraid the biological clock will expire before I ever do. I really feel as though he's stolen my life. After reading some of the forums, I see there are many people in much worse situations than mine - I wish them all the strength in the world to move past their anguish and find happiness very soon.
My emotions are more selfishly driven. I feel an anger that drives me to want to hurt him in the only place I know he'll feel it. The wallet. How much do I have a right to ask for? How relevent is it that he cheated on me? What are the ramifications of waiting so long before filing any paperwork? I don't want to spend a lot of money (that I don't have) on lawyers, but I don't want to walk away without being financially "taken care of". He turned his back on our vows. I made a promise for life - a life that contained a devoted husband and a few luxuries. Is it fair that he walk away with a young girlfriend who is now benefitting from his inflated income?
I go through stages of bitter resentment, mixed with utter despair. I want my life back. But if I can't have it, he certainly shouldn't be able to cast me aside so callously. Am I being unreasonable?
I have been living separately from my husband for a year, but still can't accept that he is with a girl he started dating while we were married! It's become an obsession despite my being aware of how futile and counterproductive it is. Neither of us have made any effort toward making our separation/divorce legal. Him, never one to take the initiative, me, not wanting to cut the final thread. Lately, I'm getting more and more bitter about him wining and dining her, while I live in a meager apartment and eat out of the pot by the sink.
We had no kids, and we enjoyed quite a few luxuries when we were together. I've always wanted very much to have children, and now I'm afraid the biological clock will expire before I ever do. I really feel as though he's stolen my life. After reading some of the forums, I see there are many people in much worse situations than mine - I wish them all the strength in the world to move past their anguish and find happiness very soon.
My emotions are more selfishly driven. I feel an anger that drives me to want to hurt him in the only place I know he'll feel it. The wallet. How much do I have a right to ask for? How relevent is it that he cheated on me? What are the ramifications of waiting so long before filing any paperwork? I don't want to spend a lot of money (that I don't have) on lawyers, but I don't want to walk away without being financially "taken care of". He turned his back on our vows. I made a promise for life - a life that contained a devoted husband and a few luxuries. Is it fair that he walk away with a young girlfriend who is now benefitting from his inflated income?
I go through stages of bitter resentment, mixed with utter despair. I want my life back. But if I can't have it, he certainly shouldn't be able to cast me aside so callously. Am I being unreasonable?
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