the motion

[The Iceberg]

Now that Im gonna file for CS and (try to) put a period on school issue, I believe it would be best for the kid if I had full custody. Since less than 2 years old my son has been with me 0ver 60% of the time every year. His mom now takes him weekends but even then she spends not much time with him. Not because of work but because of her time for herself without the kid.

So since I've had ful custody (de facto) for 6 years, I think it should be legal. Not to mention that she does only around 1% when it comes to school involvement, dental, medical etc. I don't care if she has 50/50 legal custody on paper still.

But she will fight it for sure and once served, will start keeping the kid 50%. In that case, the status quo may not be valid any longer.

[Berner_Faith]

So why rock the boat? What's more important to you? Having your child in a steady environment or money? Even with 50-50 CS is payable. This is maybe something you really need to think over. Do you have documentation proving you have had the child more than 50% of the time? You know you're going to have an uphill battle so make sure you have everything you need before you start

[Beachnana]

How old is your son? Do you live close to his Mom? I would leave sleeping dogs lie for a couple of years longer. Keep a concise record of all parental time. Unless of course its a out the money in which case Mom will suddenly become " parent of the year"

[The Iceberg]

bf, what boat are you talking about? My child is in a steady environment and she needs to pay CS, why not? You don't prove everything in FL. How can I prove I have over 60% custody? The fact that child goes to school from my home should be sufficient proof don;t you think? If you are referring to that she will start keeping the kid 50/50 after being served until potential trial and that turns into status quo, then you are right and I believe I cannot get legally full custody.

nana: the boy is 8. mom lives some 30 minutes away, waiting a couple more years makes no difference because this is the situation since 2009. I can start keeping the record to have even proof but the bold line above will make me lose, especially since Im a male.

[Berner_Faith]

Why are you getting defensive? By your own admission she will start taking the child 50% of the time once served, if you don't have proof you have the child over 50% of the timeeting how do you expect to win this motion? Do you think the judge is just going to believe you? You need proof of you having more parenting time or its going to be a he said she said type deal. But you clearly have it all figured out

[Links17]

I think if she starts taking the child over 50% of the time once you serve her with child support it will be easy to make the connection that it is to save the child support payments

However, what you can do is file a motion for custody for example and don't mention child support - you can even tell the mom you aren't going to ask for child support but the fact of the matter is that child support is public order. The judge MUST order the child support to be payable. You can tell the mom you are doing it for tax purposes....

Once she signs and agrees the time/custodial arrangement you can get a second order asking for CS on the basis of that.

[YYZDaddy]

I think you're mixing up custody and access. If there is no order on custody, you both have de facto joint custody. This is decision making. If you get along and can make reasonable decisions together, an order for joint custody may be granted. If you constantly fight, joint is highly unlikely... even if you have 50/50 access.

It sounds as if you're discussing access time. What is best for the child? Based on your description only, it appears she is not dedicated to the child. This would need to be documented.

As Links said, CS is not an option. It's legislated. Incomes and access time influence the amount. I believe more than 60% access is considered Primary access and that parent may not have to pay support, but I would research that. I can't remember off the top of my head.

Remember to consider what is best for your child first. Perhaps "as is" is best? I have no opinion on that... just a consideration.

[Beachnana]

So, unless its all about the money I would leave your arrangement just as it is. When your son goes to highs hool he will have lived with you most of the time, habe his friends around there etc etc. He will make his own choices soon, so why make a big deal at this time.

Do not rock the boat. Is it not working right now for you?

[Links17]

If Iceberg were a woman wouldn't we be telling him to just go gung ho and get the support?

If the answer is yes then you believe family court is bias.

[YYZDaddy]

If Iceberg were a woman wouldn't we be telling him to just go gung ho and get the support?

I can only speak for myself, and would say No. If everything is going (mostly) swimmingly and money isn't a core issue, then it may be best to just rest... Mom or Dad. I have a few single mom friends who have done exactly that.

From my own experience, family court has been very unbiased. Slow, but neutral.

[rockscan]

If Iceberg were a woman wouldn't we be telling him to just go gung ho and get the support?

If the answer is yes then you believe family court is bias.

Im pretty sure a number of posters (read: women) on this forum were told it wasnt worth their time or money to fight for additional support or s7 expense payment but if you see a bias Links...

[Links17]

Im pretty sure a number of posters (read: women) on this forum were told it wasnt worth their time or money to fight for additional support or s7 expense payment but if you see a bias Links...

Can you show me an example where a mom has de facto sole custody and we told her don't bother getting sole custody on paper (and child support that goes with it) even though you have it in real life....?

[Links17]

I can only speak for myself, and would say No. If everything is going (mostly) swimmingly and money isn't a core issue, then it may be best to just rest... Mom or Dad. I have a few single mom friends who have done exactly that.

From my own experience, family court has been very unbiased. Slow, but neutral.

Not my experience, it is pretty bias.

Your single mom friends are getting support payments as if it is shared custody but they really have sole custody? Are you sure - or is that what they've told you....?

[YYZDaddy]

Your single mom friends are getting support payments as if it is shared custody but they really have sole custody? Are you sure - or is that what they've told you....?

Not talking about custody.

3 have full time, or near full time access, and not getting any CS, or well below table rate. When I inquire why they don't seek more, they say they're happy to have minimal communication with Dad, and asking for CS would only re-escalate things. They do have jobs, and while more money would always be of help, they are managing alone and prefer it that way.

I respect that opinion and have no reason to doubt the integrity of my friends.

[The Iceberg]

Money is involved here. If I have to rear this child on my own, I will. But we do have law about it.

-I have de facto full custody for several years
-I believed shared custody was in best interest of the child...now I believe it is not.
- My ex keeps the kid 9 night a month
- Doesn't visit during weekdays even though her work hours are flexible. She can work, for example, from 10-6 instead of 8-4
-She gets 50% of CCTB and that is more than enough for providing only food for him (Friday night-Monday morning, so only 6 days per month)
- She is never involved in medical, dental or sport decision makings. (The child must do root canal and since being on chemotherapy it was hard to catch when the blood counts are OK. She never worked with me on it)
I am the one who picks up his medications and make dr. orders changes 99% of the time.
- I buy him clothes, food, toys, school stuff, sport stuff etc.
- She doesn't pay any child support

Yet, I cannot make status quo into legal agreement.