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  • Questions related to bruising a child

    Have a child who was in a joint custody, 50/50 access situation until the age of 9 when they were removed from Mom's care and I was given temporary sole custody. Mom was charged with assault causing bodily harm for leaving bruises on child.


    My child has been in my sole care for the last 2 years and Mom's criminal trial ended with an acquittal. The judge acknowledged that she committed the act of hitting and causing bruises, but that the injury did not meet the severity for the specific charge of assault causing bodily harm. He said it was allowable corporal punishment under Canadian law. Judge did state he would not have used the same type of discipline.


    My question is; how will a family court view this? Before this assault there were other verified incidents of abuse. When this assault took place, the CAS placed my ex on a child abuse registry.


    Mom is now seeking to reinstate unsupervised access and my worry is how much weight the court will put on the acquittal even though it was acknowledged that the assault happened.


    Thank you

  • #2
    Criminal courts and family courts are not necessarily the same.

    She was acquitted because they were unable to demonstrate the proof of assault to cause bodily harm. In family court it is cas who contributes which would have weight on the amount of time.

    Corporal punishment is a ridiculous excuse.

    I would offer supervised access via a family member that is an easement. Its been two years and the child is almost at the age where they are old enough to decide. You could also recommend parenting classes and check with cas on anything they offer.

    Mom may have changed. The child has aged. Things may be different.

    The bigger question is, do you want to fight over this again and spend thousands? Any fight will involve cas and ocl which will be long and ugly.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      Criminal courts and family courts are not necessarily the same.

      She was acquitted because they were unable to demonstrate the proof of assault to cause bodily harm. In family court it is cas who contributes which would have weight on the amount of time.

      Corporal punishment is a ridiculous excuse.

      I would offer supervised access via a family member that is an easement. Its been two years and the child is almost at the age where they are old enough to decide. You could also recommend parenting classes and check with cas on anything they offer.

      Mom may have changed. The child has aged. Things may be different.

      The bigger question is, do you want to fight over this again and spend thousands? Any fight will involve cas and ocl which will be long and ugly.

      Thanks for your response rockscan.


      Agreed, I think the judge was wrong in this case.


      We've been doing supervised access over the last couple of years but the child is now refusing to go. We get to the access center and they tell the staff they don't want to go in.


      Mom definitely hasn't changed and is still denying ever hitting her child.


      CAS closed the file once the supervision order was put in place. They detailed having "serious protection concerns" about children being in my ex wifes care.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hmmm... too bad. My kids don't want to see their mom either and its heartbreaking.

        Why is the child refusing supervised access?

        Regardless, this sounds like the best route until such time their is a demonstrable change in behavior.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
          Hmmm... too bad. My kids don't want to see their mom either and its heartbreaking.

          Why is the child refusing supervised access?

          They are upset over having to testify in court, being abused, the other side
          not admitting what happened and trying to make it look like they were not being truthful. The conduct at the visits has been bad on Moms part too. The supervised access center has had to warn her several times about ending visits if she didn't behave.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Teddie View Post
            They are upset over having to testify in court, being abused, the other side
            not admitting what happened and trying to make it look like they were not being truthful. The conduct at the visits has been bad on Moms part too. The supervised access center has had to warn her several times about ending visits if she didn't behave.
            Sounds similar to my case. Access is toxic at this point. Very unfortunate. I'm sorry. Making the child go is not in their best interest.

            One think you have to consider, (which I did over and over), is if you are no longer available/able to care for the child, will the child have a good enough relationship with the other parent so as to be taken care of by them?

            I had nightmares about me dying and having no one to take care of my 4.
            Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 09-20-2018, 01:42 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              A judge will likely order counselling and reunification therapy. Supervised access with a family member, or clergy would also be encouraged. At 9 a child is no where near being able to decide if they want to see a parent or not. Even 12,13, and 14 year olds don’t get to decide. Their wishes will be taken into consideration at that age but by no means do they get to decide. A judge has the final say. My lawyer told me not until they turn 18 do they get a say.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
                Sounds similar to my case. Access is toxic at this point. Very unfortunate. I'm sorry. Making the child go is not in their best interest.

                One think you have to consider, (which I did over and over), is if you are no longer available/able to care for the child, will the child have a good enough relationship with the other parent so as to be taken care of by them?

                I had nightmares about me dying and having no one to take care of my 4.


                Sorry to hear about your situation; that's a lot of stress to take on.


                I'm lucky that my kid has a great relationship with my current wife. She's been around since he was a toddler.


                Agreed, making them go to visits gets harder the older they get.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                  A judge will likely order counselling and reunification therapy. Supervised access with a family member, or clergy would also be encouraged. At 9 a child is no where near being able to decide if they want to see a parent or not. Even 12,13, and 14 year olds don’t get to decide. Their wishes will be taken into consideration at that age but by no means do they get to decide. A judge has the final say. My lawyer told me not until they turn 18 do they get a say.

                  They are 11 now and quite mature for their age. I think a judge would at least put some weight if the OCL were to share the childs views but I think it all depends on the child and the judge.

                  Comment

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