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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 10-18-2019, 12:34 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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How long the entire process might take? How decides how many sessions are needed? Also, is any report usually released to both participants after it is over?
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  #22  
Old 10-18-2019, 03:19 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Is it not the case that good mediators always ask for briefs? I've never gone to a mediation without one.
Absolutely. I would be very skeptical of a mediator who did not require briefs. This strikes me as similar to a 'doctor' performing surgery in his van.

However, there is nothing at law that requires a mediator to take briefs. While there are some professional groups mediators might belong to (OAFM, FDRIO), membership is optional and standards are lax. Some "mediators" have little training, little knowledge and are largely winging it.

Last edited by Kinso; 10-18-2019 at 03:28 PM.
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  #23  
Old 10-18-2019, 03:30 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
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Originally Posted by Mother View Post
How long the entire process might take? How decides how many sessions are needed? Also, is any report usually released to both participants after it is over?
Could be a couple sessions, could be months, or years. Depends how much you guys have to fight about and how (in)flexible one of both of you are.

If there are terms of settlement these will often be provided to you at the end, with a letter that says "go speak to a lawyer".
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  #24  
Old 10-18-2019, 04:12 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Originally Posted by Kinso View Post
Could be a couple sessions, could be months, or years. Depends how much you guys have to fight about and how (in)flexible one of both of you are.

If there are terms of settlement these will often be provided to you at the end, with a letter that says "go speak to a lawyer".

LOL.... Here we go again, back to square one.
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  #25  
Old 10-18-2019, 08:02 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Still breathing, 8 effen years for you! I'm so sorry for the torture you have been dealing with because it is torture. It consumes your life and pocketbook. I've been at it for 6 years total but the finances only since 2016 when the family home sold. But that's when the asshole lawyer from the other side manipulated my mentally I'll exspouse to get on the case. He has since racked up billable hours and stalling just to suck all our equity. Karma is a bitch and I pray this dick of a lawyer does not get to enjoy one dollar that he has stolen from our equity. Sorry for the rant. But I can only imagine the amount of money you have also burned. Hang in there.
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  #26  
Old 10-18-2019, 08:59 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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$300,000 and counting. Somehow I managed not to go bankrupt. Have had to igo nto hiding twice for our safety. Ex’s lawyer sees him as the golden goose and is taking advantage of a brain injured man, telling him what he wants to hear. Has admitted to my lawyer he can’t talk reason to his client and with holds information from him because he perseverates. In order to save my sanity I gave his lawyer a nickname, Mr. P....Envy, which is a a Freudian term. I refer to him by this name in all my correspondence to my lawyer. Keeps me sane.

Karma does have a warped sense of humour because my ex is getting his ass handed back to him by our mediator/arbitrator. Best part is he picked him!

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 10-18-2019 at 09:50 PM.
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  #27  
Old 10-18-2019, 09:55 PM
ReFrame ReFrame is offline
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We had a one day mediation where both sides were required to pre-submit briefs and include detailed financials. The other side brought neither. It was a shuttle mediation and I was family law lawyer represented at $500/hr, other side was lawyer friend represented (family law not their area of expertise) at $0/hr.

At the end of the mediation we were both given a summary of what had been agreed upon and I paid to have my lawyer translate it into a separation agreement.

Fast forward about 4 months and we had a signed agreement at an overall cost to me of about $50,000. It was followed for less than a year and cannot be filed with FRO as is.

Despite the hefty price tag, and the support arrears, I'm still grateful the equalization got sorted out. I think the thing to remember is that the job of a good mediator is simply to get you to agree; not based on what is fair, not based on what is right etc, just to reach an agreement, whatever that takes.
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  #28  
Old 10-18-2019, 10:07 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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If you have a mediation agreement/award and you want it filed with FRO then you take it back to your case management judge ( if you had one) or take it back to court and get a judge to turn it into an order. Then it will be enforceable by FRO.
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  #29  
Old 10-18-2019, 10:22 PM
ReFrame ReFrame is offline
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My problem is that the agreement dictates how support is to be adjusted as specific circumstances occur, and the payor will not make the adjustments; we already accounted for several material changes within the existing agreement. Apparently I cannot file a motion to change, as we accounted for these changes already. It is uncertain if it is a motion for contempt, as it does involve payments. And FRO cannot enforce, as the agreement stipulates how to make the new calculations but does not spell out the actual number to be paid. I'd like nothing better than to be able to file with FRO. I'd be very receptive to any insights!
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  #30  
Old 10-19-2019, 12:54 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReFrame View Post
We had a one day mediation where both sides were required to pre-submit briefs and include detailed financials. The other side brought neither. It was a shuttle mediation and I was family law lawyer represented at $500/hr, other side was lawyer friend represented (family law not their area of expertise) at $0/hr.

At the end of the mediation we were both given a summary of what had been agreed upon and I paid to have my lawyer translate it into a separation agreement.

Fast forward about 4 months and we had a signed agreement at an overall cost to me of about $50,000. It was followed for less than a year and cannot be filed with FRO as is.

Despite the hefty price tag, and the support arrears, I'm still grateful the equalization got sorted out. I think the thing to remember is that the job of a good mediator is simply to get you to agree; not based on what is fair, not based on what is right etc, just to reach an agreement, whatever that takes.
Sure both sides must be flexible but when one is forced to agree on what is bad for the child (and documented) and the other party disagrees on everything unless it's in their favor, would you agree just for the sake of reaching an agreement?

I didn't know that lawyers are allowed during the mediation. I thought it is only between three parties: both parents and a mediator.

Also, who decided how may sessions are needed in your case? Why was it only one session? Was it enough in your view?
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