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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-06-2019, 04:28 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Default Legalities of School Pick Ups

Asking this for my spouse.
.

He recently met with his child’s principal & teacher to get on the mailing list for events etc, and provided them with a copy of the order (ex is being very controlling and won’t give him school info or let him pick up his daughter for his parenting time- she makes him wait until she gets off work, goes and picks up child herself and then makes my spouse pickup his child at her house- which cuts his time by a good hour)
He explained to the principal how he would like to pick child up from school during his scheduled parenting times. The principal said that while they sympathize with his situation, that because his ex has sole custody and has not listed him as an authorized person to do school pick ups, that they cannot allow it. The principal told him he needs a court order for this.

My question: His court order specifically states the time that his parenting time begins at. It does not say he CANNOT pick up from school. If the child is still in the after school program at that time and the mother has not picked her up yet, then technically it is now legally his time with the child. Can the school hold his child there during his court ordered parenting time?
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Old 03-06-2019, 04:54 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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He may want to also speak to the school superintendent. Some schools do not want to get involved.

I will say though that many schools follow an order to the letter. If your order says anything other than “dad can pick up child at 3:30 pm from the school on his days” they will not waiver from considering it moms decision. They could interpret the order as after school, after school daycare or after the child returns home from school.
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:25 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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His order literally says:

“Father shall have parenting time with the child EOW from 5pm on Fridays until 5pm on Sundays”

There is nothing in the order about pick up locations.

So to me, I interpret that as “Father can pick child up from wherever she is on Fridays at 5”. If he was some sort of danger there would be either a clause saying he can’t pick up from school or a supervised access order, which there is neither

It’s just frustrating because
A) mom doesn’t even provide a half ass reason why he can’t pick child up from school
B) She makes a point of harassing him in front of child when he picks up at the house
C) He looses out on an hour of already limited time while his daughter sits in after school care. Literally no one benefits from this madness
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Old 03-06-2019, 07:33 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I think the problem is he is not listed on the school/daycare authorized pick up list. If you could get ex to add him to that, your good regardless of the court order. If not, she is being really petty and I would see if I could get this added via court order/mediation/lawyer letter, whatever it takes. If pick up is 5:00 pm, then I agree that the school may have an issue with it. My agreement says "after school/daycare on Friday" not a specific time, but there is a specific time if there is no school.

Is he not getting report cards or going to parent teacher interviews? I think both parents should be involved with school especially if they are both willing, it can be done individually. I remember my motion last spring where the Judge told my ex it was both an honour and privilege to take your children to school.

I too hate the "in person" exchanges and fought hard for school/daycare pick ups, the "harassment" isnt good for children. I got the Fridays, but still stuck with exchanges on Sunday nights.
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Old 03-06-2019, 07:37 PM
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This is a matter of (1) understanding the legalese, which might be jurisdiction-specific, and (2) communicating it to the principal, who might be an ignoramus.

Does evil mom have a court order that says she has "sole custody"?
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:27 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Yes she has sole. She withheld their daughter from him after he left her and established primary caregiver status quo. Once my spouse took her to court, he was desperate for any sort of regular contact with his child. He finally got her to agree to EOW on consent. Her lawyer drafted the order and it says “Mom has custody/is PC, Father has EOW”
His lawyer never bothered explaining to him that “custody” did not mean where the child lives, but rather what sort of legal say he has concerning the child. At that point he was so desperate to end the conflict and see his daughter that he just went and signed it without actually realizing what exactly he was signing to.

kate331: The ex makes it very difficult for him to be involved. He asked for a month leading up to Xmas when the Xmas concert was. Mom said she “didn’t know”. Called the school to find out and got a very cold shoulder as she never bothered to list him as a parent. She Finally told him of the date a few days before. When she found out that I was coming she made their daughter call him crying saying that she didn’t want us to come.
Hence the meeting with school staff recently. He now receives all communication directly. But there is no way the ex is going to put him on the authorization list; she seems to feed off the control factor. So it’s either find a loophole in the school boards rules or else start a motion and waste everyone’s time and money.
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:32 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
If pick up is 5:00 pm, then I agree that the school may have an issue with it. My agreement says "after school/daycare on Friday" not a specific time, but there is a specific time if there is no school..
The problem is that the child is ALWAYS still at the school’s after school program at 5:00pm. Mom doesn’t finish work until at least then, then drives across town to pick child up. I could see the issue if order says “5:00pm” and he’s coming at 3:30 to pick up (although even that is ridiculous in my opinion)
But what is the issue if he goes to the school AT 5:00. In my mind all he should have to do is wave the order in their face and say “look, it’s telling me to pick her up at 5 so here I am!”
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:35 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Again, he could speak to the superintendent but they may not do anything about releasing the child outside of 5 pm.

It doesn’t matter what he says or does, his ex will do whatever she can to destroy his connection to the child. She will continue to harass him. He should look into a motion to change custody especially if she is denying access.
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:54 PM
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If the mother has sole custody then the principal is probably correct. Things like this always come up at schools, which is why usually the principal is on the ball when it comes to family law.

The father should fire his lawyer and attempt to get joint custody ASAP. Hopefully the sole custody order is not final.
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Old 03-06-2019, 08:55 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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as a father who went through this, there is actually not a damn thing he can do and the school can actually call the cops on him to have him removed from the school.

send some letters to mom that his schedule allows to do pickups from school and ride chance of conflict.

burden, you need a material change. what has changed that he has to do pickups from school? are they conflicted and he wants to reduce chance of conflict?

Either way, the courts probably won't mind allowing school pick ups and drop offs. the father will have e to reassure this is not a temporary thing and something he will follow through with ever more.

keep asking mom. if she keeps saying no, document them, and then have a lawyer send a letter, if she still says no, take her to court.

be super polite with mom.

if his access ends at 5PM and mom doesn't release child to him until 6PM, then document that as a reason to allow him to do school pick ups so he's not waiting around for mom to find her socks.


EDIT. I assumed there is a final order with sole custody to mom and this access to dad. Have I mistaken and this is only a temporary order? was it on consent or ordered on motion ?
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