Items to share between two households

[Ange71727]

Where do you draw the line on what should be shared between households and what should not?
My ex recently sent an irate email because he found out that our son received a Chromebook (laptop) for Christmas. I bought this Chromebook because his whole school board has gone to this system, so he can do assignments and submit them online, he can use Google Classroom, etc. As well, I thought it would be great for use around the house for Netflix or watching movies on road trips. Son was thrilled with this and started bringing it back and forth between our home and school.
I told him it wasn’t going to go to his dad’s house.
I didn’t tell him that the reason being I don’t trust his dad, would be on the hook completely if anything happened to it, and don’t feel it an appropriate item to share across two households.
When he is at his dad’s he has to use the school Chromebook which I guess sucks in comparison to his home one. Ex blasted me saying it’s not in child’s best interests for me to deny him the ability to bring the Chromebook to his house on his parenting time.
Also, the best part is that he told me that HE practically bought it anyway since he pays me support. In fact, this is a common theme with him - he likes to hold the support over my head as if he owns everything in my house because he gives me some money every month.
Am I being petty? I kinda feel like dad can go buy one himself. Kid is not out a laptop at school since they’ll provide one....
Thoughts please.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[iona6656]

How old is your son?

He has a chrome book from school to use at dads?

Does it bother your son that he can’t take him home chromebook to his dads?

I actually think it’s funny dad is mad...buuut it’s probably not helpful for coparenting


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mom 2 Two]

My kids have iPad minis... I do not send them to dads. If they get broke dad will snot fix or be responsible. And I have time restrictions on them and I don’t want dad to use them as babysitters when they are there. You bought it for your home. Does dad send anything to your house that is valuable for kid to use? My ex doesn’t allow a thing to come back to my home. I let them take toys because they don’t have any at dads.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ange71727]

He is 12.
The school Chromebook doesn’t go to dad’s, it stays at school. The issue is that dad believes the Chromebook I purchased should be shared and used at both houses and travel to school from either house.
I see this as a huge problem just waiting to happen.
It’s hard to talk about it with my son without saying “I don’t trust your dishonest, control freak dad” so I have indicated that I just don’t think it’s a good idea. He seems ok with that even though he has said the school computers suck. At least I have 3/4 of school days in the month.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[arabian]

Hi Ange - whatever your decision, I'd make sure you explain to your child unequivocally so child does not play parents against each other (kind of sounds like that might be happening here):

[rockscan]

Does it go to school? If no then the answer is “the laptop stays here for safe keeping”. If your ex wants to interpret that as you dont trust him, let him. I can guarantee you that if the tables were turned he would be very vocal about not trusting you.

This is a mute button situation.

[Ange71727]

Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two

My kids have iPad minis... I do not send them to dads. If they get broke dad will snot fix or be responsible. And I have time restrictions on them and I don’t want dad to use them as babysitters when they are there. You bought it for your home. Does dad send anything to your house that is valuable for kid to use? My ex doesn’t allow a thing to come back to my home. I let them take toys because they don’t have any at dads.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The only things that end up at either home are the clothes they wore to school when they get off the bus at either home. This gets returned at the next sporting event or place I would see their dad. Nothing else is shared at all. So that’s a pretty big leap to say we’re going to now send a laptop back and forth.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[iona6656]

^^what they said.

Expensive electronics stay at home.

I pack a full diaper bag that goes with my daughter. Because she needs to keep her Epi pens with her at all times. And extra clothes etc.

For stuff to help her adjust to two houses- eg the blanket and pillow she likes to sleep on, I get her a second set to keep at her dads.

I’ve done the same with toys she loves and wants to keep with her at all times. I just don’t want to forget to get it from dads house.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[denbigh]

I think it is age dependent. I would be hard pressed to separate my teenager from his cellphone. Ex bought kids tablets and they go with them back and forth with them between the houses. It hasnt been an issue for ex to let kids have them here, or for me. I drew the line at the family laptop though. Child insisted it had to go with him to play video games and I said no, it is the family laptop for in our house only.

[denbigh]

The issue is that dad believes the Chromebook I purchased should be shared and used at both houses and travel to school from either house.

Couldnt the child just do homework on dad's computer and save it on an USB to take back and forth, if you arent ready for kid to take the laptop?