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#1
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Not sure if this is the right place for this. But I think it is.
So long story short. Dad decided he would come and "take for roughly a month" child of 2 yrs 3 months. Mom said she thought this was unfair to child and as Dad had not seen. Child for 2 1/2 mths ( his choice) she suggested he should come and visit son for a 2 or 3 overnight visit. There is no set access schedule, distance is a factor, agreement is vague stating reasonable requests will not be denied. He said " no I am coming next week"', she suggested the following weekend, as she had some plans this weekend. He said "no I am coming this weekend" and booked his return and child's one way ticket. He had his lawyer send a quite lengthy threatening letter and therefore forcing her to seek some legal advice. They are supposed to mediate but he bypassed that stage. Her lawyer responded with suggestions to mediate and also suggesting some dates be setup for visits appropriate to child's age. This was ignored by ex and his lawyer stated in his letter that he had advised his client to continue with his plans to come and collect the child He then told Mom to bring child to the airport because he only had a 3 hour turnaround and has no licence. She did not respond anymore and ignored his emails all that day. It was upsetting and she was quite afraid. Next week 10 page letter from lawyer threatening contempt of court and costs to,cover the airfare and emotional stress and legal fees. Lots of receipts were sent and a demand that she reimburse for his costs or they will file a contempt of court against her. She choose to ignore the threat. 2 weeks later she receives an email from ex not sent through lawyer, saying he wants to extend an olive branch and try and move past their differences. She respond if this is truly and olive branch then Actions speak louder than words and he should come and visit child as soon as possible and perhaps pay some of the outstanding monies for daycare. No response Nothing was said regarding the latest threat from lawyer. she heard nothing until today 3 weeks later. Again another 2 week timeline to pay up or they will file a motion of contempt. Her lawyer will not entertain court he has told her to inform her previous lawyer so he can be prepared to go to court. He is a collaborative FL lawyer. She chose him because now they have a settlement ( 1 year old) she felt that disputes should go through the mediation process and be solved at the very least through lawyers. That was the direction in the agreement. So now what to do? Does she go back to her first lawyer who was a litigator and let this go to court? Does she ask her collaborative lawyer to reply with a suggestion of mediation. $$$$ are piling up in legal bills. They say 2 is better than one. But I am not sure they mean lawyers! Last edited by Beachnana; 05-06-2014 at 11:01 PM. |
#2
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A 10 page letter from a lawyer? That's nuts.
Contempt of court is a very lengthy and expensive process. The bar is set very high to prove. Contempt issues are generally dealt with on their own separate hearing process. Sounds like intimidation. I have a lawyer who is a member of the Collaborative Lawyer Society of Alberta yet this lawyer has represented me tirelessly and aggressively over the past 5 years in and out of court. Being a "collaborative" lawyer shouldn't mean the lawyer can't or won't go to court if/when needed. I'd check that out and then decide which lawyer you want to retain and then stay with that lawyer. |
#3
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Well that is what we thought. It is a dangerous route to take. i know Tayken had posted on this issue in another thread I started. We were thinking we would ignore the contempt threat as such" a threat" but then his lawyer is eager to get into court experience, so we were a little nervous on this. I was thinking we should approach with an offer to enter into a mediation process first.
She does not believe she is in Contempt of their agreement. She interprets a vague clause one way and he another. They will never agree I guess. |
#4
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Sounds like the father just wasted a bunch of $$.
Terrible strategy but then often people are easily intimidated and probably cave after receiving these sorts of letters. I think you need to get a 'game plan' organized and stick to it. As long as you don't have a lawyer you can expect to continue to receive these sorts of letters. Kind of like collection agent mentality. |
#5
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If the agreement stipulates that disputes are to be settled through a mediation process then that is the route you should go. If that is clear in the agreement then if any contempt action were taken against your daughter, and your daughter were successful and contempt motion was dismissed, then your daughter could request costs. There is undoubtedly a very nice legal way of putting that in a responding letter. Perhaps your 'collaborative' lawyer could point this out along with directive that mediation process must be undertaken as is stipulated by agreement. In other words, call them on their own bullshit.
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#6
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here is a case from BC where the mother was found in contempt for denying access as stipulated in a previous court order:
https://www.canlii.org/en/bc/bcsc/do...VlbWVudAAAAAAB |
#7
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Unless a month-long access period is specified in the separation agreement or court order, I don't see how she could possibly be in contempt for refusing it. Especially if she is offering reasonable alternatives.
However, maybe I'm just paranoid and cynical, but I would be more worried about the lack of specified end date for the visit leaving open the possibly of refusal to return the child rather than how the child would feel with his dad. I would be insisting, for a visit of any length, that the ex provide a firm end date, in writing, with proof (such as the child's return ticket) attached, before access happens. |
#8
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Agree and that is what she asked for and did. He ignored her and came up anyway, now trying to charge her for the costs incurred. What a pain it all is for sure. She wants to just hit " ignore" but that is hard to do.
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#9
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Then the parents should establish a "residency schedule". (aka Access Schedule) When and where the child would reside with either parent. If you want to reduce conflict stop calling it an "access schedule" all together. That terminology causes more conflict than most in family law.
Who created this factor? The mother or the father? Distance is mostly the responsibility of the moving party. That is how the court will generally view it. Quote:
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A court will not generally force parties to go to mediation. If it was arbitration then they would have. I don't recommend mediation in most situations. It takes two reasonable parties to 'mediate'. Quote:
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To really respond properly, respond to every item in detail and then attach the original letter back as a schedule. ![]() Generally this will end the stupidity on the other side. Quote:
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She should also try to think for herself, be an independent adult and not rely upon her mother to be an adult for her. I know this is harsh but, you may not be helping the situation. Just being honest with you on my opinion. Quote:
Good Luck! Tayken |
#10
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Good Luck! Tayken |
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