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CanaryMom · #1 02-02-2012, 10:43 AM

I have a legal aid lawyer and I am really wanting to go to trial on the issue of alimony for me. There have been several settlement offers, all of which my legal aid lawyer is tellling me I should take as he says it's fair and probably what would be orderd by a judge anyways. I still want to go forward with trial but my lawyer is discouraging it. I am self employed but make very little money and my soon to be ex husband makes about $100,000 per year. I raise our 3 children, receive child support for them and was left with the house, which we owned, and all marital assets besides a boat. I qualify for legal aid and he is paying alot for his. Can I force this to trial even though I have a legal aid lawyer? I want to have my day in court and for it to be on record what he has put me through when he packed up and left me and our three babies.

HammerDad · #2 02-02-2012, 10:54 AM

Sure you can by not agreeing. Just know that if the judge finds that his offers were reasonable and orders a support amount similar to what your ex has offered, the judge may order you pay your ex's legal costs on the matter.

I understand wanting your day in court, but you are going to have to get over your anger as the court doesn't care. He is your soon-to-be-ex and this is now a business transaction. Your emotions will simply cause large amounts of monies to be spent that could be better off used on your "three babies".

Edit - With an income of about $100k, you would be entitled to $1,845.00 in child support in Ontario. So about $22,140 a year. What do you make a year? You may be entilted to about $1,000-$1,500 a month in SS (so with cs about $34,140 to $40,140 a year), but I doubt it would be substantially more then that. If he makes $100k and my numbers are anywhere near accurate, he'd be paying you 35-40% of his grosse income....how much more do you want???

CanaryMom · #3 02-02-2012, 11:16 AM

I do want my day in court and I was told by a friend that because I have such a small income, the judge won't award him his legal fees. I win either way.

I make about $20,000 per year and I receive $2000/month in child support. I stay at home to take care of my children.

Pursuinghappiness · #4 02-02-2012, 11:16 AM

So you got the house (and furniture), the kids, legal aid, will be getting fair child support and spousal support and instead of accepting a reasonable offer to settle you want to use your free lawyer go to trial to whine?!?!?

Can I come to your trial too? I'd like to get on record how irritating your post was.

Pursuinghappiness · #5 02-02-2012, 11:19 AM

Quote:

I win either way.

Anyone who thinks they're going to "win" in family court is beyond help.

Frankly, I don't think you need to go to court. I think its pretty obvious why your ex decided to just let all of his material possessions go and take off and leave you. You don't need to bother wasting Canadian taxpayers time and money in an unnecessary trial.

Exquizique · #6 02-02-2012, 11:23 AM

Really, posts like this do not warrant a response ... or perhaps just a one-liner of "Can you see me roll my eyes?" People with minds already so set are bent on going one way or another any way. They seek validation, not insight, advice or information. It's tough enough trying to provide assistance and encouragement to those actually struggling to do the RIGHT thing. No point giving attention to potential trolls.

That said, it is because of people/litigants like this that Legal Aid is tightening up their rules and requirements. I wouldn't be surprised if not too far off in the future Legal Aid lawyers will be equipped with the ability to "say no" or refuse to represent cases like this.

blinkandimgone · #7 02-02-2012, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanaryMom

I want to have my day in court and for it to be on record what he has put me through when he packed up and left me and our three babies.

For....what purpose? Sounds like you're just angry because he decided he didn't want to be with you. The guy left you, but also left you pretty much everything and you want the taxpayers to foot the bill for a trial so that you can, one can only assume, attempt to muddy his name?

Grow up, focus on raising your kids in a healthy environment that begins with you dealing with your anger in a more constructive way.

HammerDad · #8 02-02-2012, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanaryMom

I do want my day in court and I was told by a friend that because I have such a small income, the judge won't award him his legal fees. I win either way.

Your friend is wrong......The courts can and will impose costs on unreasonable parties.

You make $20,000 a year (about full time min-wage) and are receiving MORE than the guideline amount for child support, your ex has given you the house and contents...... and you have decided to go against the advice of your lawyer and are refusing (what your lawyer has deemed) reasonable offers, just to take your ex to court?!?!??!?

Way to kill your kids college fund lady.

Your emotions and anger are completely irrelevent. What you are trying to do is just cost your ex money out of spite and a judge is likely to see right through it. Unless you have some reasonable belief that a judge will give you more for some reason, I'd take a big'ol glass of get-the-fuck-over-myself and learn how to negotiate. Because if you don't, I wouldn't be surprised if your lawyer fires you as they can't work with an individual who won't listen to their reasonable advice.

Rioe · #9 02-02-2012, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanaryMom

I have a legal aid lawyer and I am really wanting to go to trial on the issue of alimony for me. There have been several settlement offers, all of which my legal aid lawyer is tellling me I should take as he says it's fair and probably what would be orderd by a judge anyways. I still want to go forward with trial but my lawyer is discouraging it. I am self employed but make very little money and my soon to be ex husband makes about $100,000 per year. I raise our 3 children, receive child support for them and was left with the house, which we owned, and all marital assets besides a boat. I qualify for legal aid and he is paying alot for his. Can I force this to trial even though I have a legal aid lawyer? I want to have my day in court and for it to be on record what he has put me through when he packed up and left me and our three babies.

You are not going to get what you want from court. What he did to you is completely irrelevant. Canada has no fault divorce. The judge will not spend any time on the emotions you experienced due to your breakup. Spousal support will follow guidelines, based on your ability to work, your earning potential, your work history during the marriage and the length of the marriage. The reason he left and how it happened isn't going to be considered.

And you got the whole house and nearly all the marital assets? If your ex brings this up, you may find yourself getting much less, perhaps even NO, spousal support than his reasonable offers. You really want to put that in danger?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanaryMom

I do want my day in court and I was told by a friend that because I have such a small income, the judge won't award him his legal fees. I win either way.

I make about $20,000 per year and I receive $2000/month in child support. I stay at home to take care of my children.

If he has made reasonable offers, which are what a judge would likely order, and you declined them and took him to court instead, then you are going to be ordered to pay your ex's legal costs when that happens. And you'll be paying that out of your child support money or by selling your house! Having a legal aid lawyer and a low income doesn't protect you from that. Don't take legal advice from your friends.

And by the way, the staying home to take care of your children argument isn't a strong one. You will be expected to support yourself and them to the best of your ability, especially if/when they are all school-age.

Unless there are other issues that aren't settled, like custody, it sounds like you only want to take your ex to court for some sort of punitive goal, either by driving up the cost of his lawyer, or possibly getting slightly more spousal support than his offers included. But what you fail to realize is that everybody suffers. Including yourself and your children. All a trial will accomplish is making lawyers rich and wasting your time. Where would you rather the money go, to lawyers or to your children?

Nobody comes out of court a winner except the lawyers.

Wake up. Before you ruin your children's future.

Berner_Faith · #10 02-02-2012, 12:17 PM

Clearly she has already made up her mind...its people like this, that unfortunately keep the court systems so full that people with real problems are not able to get in front of a Judge for MONTHS... I bet if she was paying her own lawyer this pettiness wouldn't even be happening, but hey...everyone here makes more than enough money to have our tax dollars wasted on people like this right?

You are a prime example of someone who doesn't care about what their children are going through, instead you think that getting in front of a Judge to tell them "what he put you through" is going to get you somewhere. What issues do you think are going to get settled when you bring him to court? You have basically kept everything from your marriage, except the man and his boat.

Get over yourself and start listening to the legal advice we are all paying for you to have.

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