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  • #16
    Originally posted by susiecanoe View Post
    Been there, done that, don't qualify. The bottom line is I don't feel like spending the next 10 years in court. I requested CAS to assist and they aren't helping. Please explain though what you meant earlier by disclosure is required.
    TGIF - huh - and I'm going out...lol

    However, what I meant by Disclosure was all documentation held by the CAS concerning the health welfare of your children. Your a parent and entitled. It doesn't hurt to write a formal letter of request for disclosure and see if they co-operate.

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    • #17
      Ok. I might try that. TTYL.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by susiecanoe View Post
        Ok. I might try that. TTYL.
        Best to send by FAX asap. The disclosure requests effectively calls them out. It's either a child protection matter or its not.

        If they had sufficient evidence to demonstrate emotional harm to the children then why are the children being left in your care....Are you sure the Mediator is not an Assessor working on behalf of the Society?

        Why has the Society conveyed alleged threats as to what the Judge will order in the future?

        Comment


        • #19
          It's really not that simple. CAS is now mandated as part of their duties to utilize Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) or in other words, Mediation in cases where it may benefit the parties to resolve their differences so the impact on the children is minimized. I am not in opposition to this forum IF I felt it would work, but I have already attended mediation and settlement on many previous occassions and my ex is not open to compromise or negotiation and uses his power and control to intimidate me. As for my daughter being left in my care, the full assessment report completed prior to trial is indicative that if the children were to reside with Dad, he would alienate them from me ( which clearly has now happened since my son chose to go reside there 2 years ago) whereas in my care, I would encourage them to maintain and continue thier relationship with their father. Thus I was granted that the children would reside with me on a full time basis with continued joint custody in matters of education, religion and health. I would never prevent or hinder my children from a relationship with their parents - THAT would harm them. So, I am not sure why CAS is of the belief that mediation will assist. In my opinion, they should be insisting Dad follow the order, then the children would not be further harmed. By that I mean, that Dad should not be proventing my son from contacting me, should be openly engaging him to attend for alternate weekend visits, holidays and both oral and written communication. ( read up on PAS) He should be following the order which requires advance notice for visits, and he should be contributing to the children's health care and education costs ( which he has failed to do). To me, it is pretty clear who is causing the harm to the children. The CAS however, does not care who is at fault, just that it stop and consider that both parties are equally responsible. Therefore I am mandated to participate in the mediation process even though I am following the order. They have no grounds to remove my daughter from my care. I send her to Dads every other weekend, split holiday time, and for vacations. She is not prevented from calling them at any time. Complex I know.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by susiecanoe View Post
            It's really not that simple. CAS is now mandated as part of their duties to utilize Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) or in other words, Mediation in cases where it may benefit the parties to resolve their differences so the impact on the children is minimized. I am not in opposition to this forum IF I felt it would work, but I have already attended mediation and settlement on many previous occassions and my ex is not open to compromise or negotiation and uses his power and control to intimidate me. As for my daughter being left in my care, the full assessment report completed prior to trial is indicative that if the children were to reside with Dad, he would alienate them from me ( which clearly has now happened since my son chose to go reside there 2 years ago) whereas in my care, I would encourage them to maintain and continue thier relationship with their father. Thus I was granted that the children would reside with me on a full time basis with continued joint custody in matters of education, religion and health. I would never prevent or hinder my children from a relationship with their parents - THAT would harm them. So, I am not sure why CAS is of the belief that mediation will assist. In my opinion, they should be insisting Dad follow the order, then the children would not be further harmed. By that I mean, that Dad should not be proventing my son from contacting me, should be openly engaging him to attend for alternate weekend visits, holidays and both oral and written communication. ( read up on PAS) He should be following the order which requires advance notice for visits, and he should be contributing to the children's health care and education costs ( which he has failed to do). To me, it is pretty clear who is causing the harm to the children. The CAS however, does not care who is at fault, just that it stop and consider that both parties are equally responsible. Therefore I am mandated to participate in the mediation process even though I am following the order. They have no grounds to remove my daughter from my care. I send her to Dads every other weekend, split holiday time, and for vacations. She is not prevented from calling them at any time. Complex I know.
            Not complex. Thats your Background -Some facts are trivial, some not so much. You still require full CAS disclosure to compare. It's the weekend, how long has you matter been going on for?

            Comment


            • #21
              Hi. Yes complex. The matter of custody and access has been ongoing for 12 years. 4 court orders during that period of time.

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              • #22
                Shouldn't the children be represented by their own lawyer - rather than social workers of the Society - Disclosure is important. 12 years is a significant.

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                • #23
                  Hi,As I stated, I am not prepared to keep going back and forth into court. I don't see the point in the kids having their own lawyer. This has already been settled before the courts on many occassions. Personally, the best option is for the kids to receive counselling. I would also love to hear other people's opinions about what the definition of joint custody is. Nowadays, judges seem to select this as the only option even if the one of the parties is unable or unwilling to cooperate. My ex is going to push the issue that he has joint custody, therefore every right to show up unannounced during school hours. Our court order does not indicate specifics around this, just that mid week visits are to be requested wit 48 hours notice. All the research I have done, does not clearly dileneate the difference between joint custody and care and control.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    The Cas are functus...and your at their discretion.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      functus? sorry, I don't know what that means. But to be honest, I am going to stand my ground. I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. I think they are just fishing because they have nothing to go on.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Hey, I am also new to this posting stuff. I don't know how to post a new thread to get some other advise on the defining meanings of joint custody and care and control. How do I do this so I get a variety of thoughts, opinions?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Go to the main page of the forum and on the top left just above the list of threads you should see an orange button that says 'new topic'.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            thanks. just did.

                            Comment

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